Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Benefit of Separate Vacations?

Iris Krasnow from her book The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share what it Really Takes to Stay Married she wrote, "The best marriage advice I now give, after receiving this advice from dozens of wives who have been married for up to 70 years while researching my book, is this: The happiest marriages are made up of two people who are engaged in separate passions, separate pursuits and who are wholly engaged in something beyond their partnership." 

She also extols the benefits of separate vacations, even separate summers! "Krasnow has spent the last eight summers (or at least a good chunk of those summers) several states away from her husband. 'I come home and I’m always hot to see him,' she confides."

She wrote this along with a lot of other terrible advice (make out with old boyfriends; get yourself a platonic boyfriend): "She points out that the vast majority of married women contemplate divorce 'if not once a month, at least every other month.'"

So this is the secret of a happy marriage: spend more time apart, pursue completely different activities, and ponder divorce frequently? This is the advice the world gives you to a happy marriage. What advice does the Bible give?

The Bible tells us we are to submit, obey, please, love, reverence, and serve our husbands until death do us part. The advice you are getting from the world is completely contrary to this, namely, only think about yourself and what makes you happy. "If seeking your own hobbies, goals, and vacations make you happy, go for it."

The big problem with this is that this attitude has infiltrated the church. Many churches have forgotten to preach about denying ourselves and giving ourselves away for the good of others. They fail to teach that Jesus' last act on earth was to wash the disciples' feet. He gave us this example so we would wash other's feet.

Are you washing your husband's feet? Are you making his life happy? As you learn to give your life away, serve others, and take your mind off of your own feelings and desires, the happier and more joyful you will become. Satan hides this from you but God tells us this plainly in His Word. Listen to the Lover of your soul instead of the Great Deceiver.

Go on vacations with your husband. Find things you enjoy doing together. Don't listen to the wisdom of the world. It is foolishness and will not lead to a strong, healthy marriage. I can tell you one thing, I sure have no intention of vacationing all summer without my husband! Neither of us would be happy doing this. We love and enjoy each other too much and would miss each other terribly.

Let your fountain be blessed, 
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18