Trouble Obeying Your Husband?

Many disdain the idea of obeying their husband. They may think it resembles a child-parent or a slave-master relationship instead of a marriage. Many have accused me that this teaching leads women to being abused! They much prefer “mutual submission” and not just having one leader in the home. Are we commanded to obey our husbands? Yes, absolutely. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (1 Peter 3:6). We are to obey our husbands just as Sara obeyed Abraham and she even called him “lord” showing him her respect and submission.

What if you have friends who despise the idea of obeying their husbands? What should you say to them to convince them that this is indeed how they are supposed to be with their husbands? I asked the chat room for their opinions and they gave me some great ideas!

Lindsay: “I would ask whether obeying their boss sounds like a parent-child relationship or whether obeying a police officer sounds like a parent-child relationship. We all have to obey authority, not just children.”

Adrienne: “I would say to them ‘You are actually saying you can't stand God's Word.... ‘ And then tell them the Scriptures and admit that as sinners this can be difficult but we will be sanctified and grow...”

Amber: “I'm not sure what I would say, but what I see happening in so many marriages is the wife trying to treat her husband like a child and forcing him (usually through nagging) to obey her. Most of the men I know want peaceful lives and don't abuse their position of authority in the family. That's not the case for all men and women of course, but I think it's true for the majority of couples. Obeying my husband is pretty easy for me because he is calm, likes to make rational decisions based on facts and not feelings or emotions, and he never uses childish tactics to get his way. Plus biblical submission is a willing decision made by the wife. If the husband is forcing the wife to obey, that's not submission. I don't even really think about submission on a daily basis because it's just kind of a daily decision to be kind and loving and respectful to my husband as we should be to all people. I think about it more in important decisions.”

Amy: “I would say it's God I'm obeying.”

Dina:  “I would say that it is very fulfilling to me because it is just how God designed it to be.”

Brooke:  “I'd challenge them. Be obedient to your husband’s authority for thirty days. After thirty days, let's catch up and see where you stand. I would have never believed it either. I thought my husband would abuse his power. I felt I'd feel like a timid woman-child. I felt like he'd actually want someone else after a while (someone who didn't let him ‘walk all over her’). There is very little you can do to persuade someone....the outcomes provide the best example.”

Kayla:  “I'd say I didn't marry my husband to disrespect and disregard his thoughts and feelings for the rest of my life. I married him because I love and trust him to lead us and our family in any situation.”

Our obedience to our husbands is our God-ordained role. If you want to fight it, you are fighting the Lord. His will is always the best place for you to be so stop fighting and begin obeying Him. You will find rest for your souls living in the center of His perfect will for you.

Teach the younger women to be... obedient to their husbands.

Titus 2:4, 5

Teaching Femininity and Masculinity

It is important for parents to raise them up in the way they should go. If they are born a male, raise him up to be a masculine man. If they are born a female, raise them up to be a feminine women. Make sure they understand their God-given role and teach it to them from the time they are young. Little girls should play with baby dolls and boy should play with trucks and balls. Yes, a little tomboy girl may but cute when she is young but it is not cute when they get older. It is your job as parents to steer them in the direction that God made them.

If boys aren't athletic and don't like team sports or playing with a ball, take them hiking, fishing, or help them build something. When they are older, have them learn how to change the oil on a car, repair things around the home, take care of the yard, and do masculine things. Teach the girls to love dressing feminine, cooking, cleaning, and other things that have to do with homemaking. If you don't teach your children these things, culture will teach them the opposite; women can be men and men can be women.

Girls need an education so they will grow up to be smart wives and mothers. Wives may have to help their husbands with their jobs and mothers may homeschool their children. Getting an education shouldn't just be for having a career. Make sure your daughters know that this isn't the ultimate goal of education but to know how to read, do math, understand history, and other important things they need to learn.

Little girls need to grow up and be able to be a homemaker and all this entails. Little boys need to grow up and be able to provide for a family so he must learn skills and have an education to do so. It's up to us, as parents, to lead our children in the right way. In the "olden days" parents did need to be so diligent about this but in these times, we must be since culture is teaching them lies.

Beautifying Our Homes

A wise woman builds up her home and a foolish one tears it down. How do we build up our homes and beautify them? There are many ways we can do both and give God the glory for it all! He is the One who created the family and puts families in homes; He is also the One who blesses them when we live for Him and do things the way He has called us to do for He promises that we will reap what we sow.

Sow beauty into your home. Work hard at home keeping it clean and tidy. Never be so busy away from home that your home becomes unkempt. Let every child have one basket of toys and teach them to put their toys back into their own basket after playing with them. When you see something that needs to be cleaned, don’t put it off but do it as soon as you can. If you see a dirty toilet, clean it. If something needs dusting, dust it. In this way, nothing will ever become overwhelming because you have kept on top of the little things and haven’t allowed them to grow into big jobs. When you spill something, wipe it up immediately so it doesn’t harden and make it harder to clean up. As soon as you climb out of your bed in the morning, make your bed. Clean the sink out if you see it is dirty while you are brushing your teeth. Think of beautifying your home as you clean it, because this is what you are doing. A clean home is a beautiful home! 

“It is almost impossible for a child to grow up into loveliness of character, gentleness of disposition, and purity of heart – amid scenes of slovenliness, untidiness, repulsiveness and filthiness. But a clean home, with tasteful and simple adornments and pleasant surroundings – is an influence of incalculable value in the education of children.” (J. R. Miller)

Sow kindness into your home. Speak only words of kindness to all those who dwell in your home. Even when you are upset with your children, you can speak kindly to them; for anger and angry words do not accomplish the righteous life that God requires of us. Speak kindly to your husband. Practice it daily and eventually, it will become a habit to be kind.

Sow patience in your home. In 1 Corinthians, the love chapter, have you noticed that patience is the first quality of love? Love is patient; love is kind. We will all make mistakes and no one will ever be perfect on this earth. Don’t get upset when your children make mistakes. Be patient with them as your Heavenly Father is patient with you. Be patient with your husband. Allow him to make mistakes in his leadership of your home. We all grow and learn through our mistakes. Being angry and impatient will never accomplish anything beneficial. They only injure the relationships and create distance between others.

Sow faithfulness in your home. Faithfully read the Word to your children. Speak of your faith often to them. Teach them to be faithful to their friends and to their word. Make sure they follow through with the commitments they have made. Be faithful to your husband in every way, even what you place before your eyes. Don’t read or watch anything that could cause you to be unfaithful to your husband, even in your mind. Be faithful to the Lord and walk worthy of Him within your home; giving none occasion for others to speak evil of His Holy name.

Sow contentment into your home. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Let your family see that you are content in life. Choose to be content with the size and location of your home. Don’t allow grumbling and complaining into your home. Be content to live on your husband’s income and how you must live within it. Contentment is a beautiful quality to pursue.

Sow cheerfulness into your home. The joy of the Lord is your strength! Let your children see how wonderful it is to follow Christ. Let them see that it is the best thing in the world and nothing the world has to offer can compare. Be cheerful with your husband and your children. Smile every time you see them. Be cheerful to the clerk at the store and all those you meet. Everyone can use a warm and friendly smile.

Sow thankfulness into your home. Be thankful. Thank the Lord daily for His blessings; for the food on the table and the roof over your head, for eternal life and His blessed Son, for living mightily within you and the peace He blesses you with. No matter what your situation in life, you can find things to be thankful for. Make sure your children see and hear you being thankful. In this way, you are creating a beautiful home for your family.

She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

photo source

Working Outside the Home to Be a Role Model For Her Children

A couple in Britain makes a decent income with both of them working full time. They have two children with one on the way. They have no extras to go on dates or vacations but spend a hefty portion of their earnings on child care. “Financially, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for me to be working, but I wish to be a good role model to my children and don’t want Alex to shoulder all the burden.” For another couple who are squeaking by on two incomes; “Childcare is the big drain: more than a third of our earnings goes on paying our childminder to look after the boys three days a week.”

Neither of these couples live extravagantly. They shop carefully yet can hardly make ends meet. A third couple makes a great income together but their childcare also takes a huge sum from their income. “Some people might wonder why we need two cars, but they’re essential for us to be able to get to work and nursery (child care).” All three couples say they are broke and are forced to borrow from family.

If each of these mothers came home, sold their second car (cars are very expensive to maintain and insure) and took their children out of all day care, they can easily afford to live on one income. However, what I want to specifically address is the statement, “I want to be a good role model to my children…” I have read and heard this statement before. Mothers work even though they don’t want nor need to so they can be good role models for their children.

What are they modeling for their children as they leave them in the care of strangers each day? Their jobs are more important than they are. Having someone care for them who is a stranger is more important than their own mother being the one to care for them. Money is more important than they are to their mothers. They are unimportant since their mothers don’t want to be with them all day. This is what they are modeling to their children and they are all negatives in a child’s mind.

What are mothers afraid of? That the glass ceiling women broke through will not mean anything to their children? That their children will grow up to be lazy bums and won’t want to do a thing? Or possibly, their daughters may choose to stay home and raise their own children since this was modeled to them? Would this be so terrible? In the eyes of today’s culture, yes, it would be terrible.

Instead, mothers are willing to sacrifice their time with their precious children to work for strangers every day not knowing that because they have decided to do this their children have a much greater risk of growing up to be insecure and emotionally unstable. They will have a more difficult time bonding with others. This is a mighty steep price to pay to be a role model to their children.

Now, our government wants to pay for childcare to make it easier for mothers to work instead of encouraging mothers to be home and care for their own children. The idiocy of it all is astounding! Then the one mother says she wants to continue working so the burden won’t fall on her husband’s shoulders. They have proven, after looking at all of their expenses, that it makes no sense to pay for childcare and they would actually save money if the wives didn’t work!

Stop falling for the lies of this culture and the enemy of your soul, women. This is who is behind the entire masquerade. He doesn’t want mothers at home raising their children. He knows how important it is for the children and if he can steal the children, he has won. Your children need you! They want you and only you! You are irreplaceable to your children. Go home and stay there. Your children will benefit for a lifetime for this simple choice you make and one day will praise you for it. There is no place like a home with the mother in it. She is the heartbeat and warmth of the home. She beautifies it and keeps it running smoothly. Home is where a mother belongs.

He makes the barren women to keep house 

and be a joyful mother of children.

Psalm 113:9

Keep Out That Monster Unbelief

Written By Charles Spurgeon

Strive with all diligence to keep out that monster - unbelief. It so dishonors Christ, that he will withdraw his visible presence if we insult him by indulging it. It is true it is a weed, the seeds of which we can never entirely extract from the soil, but we must aim at its root with zeal and perseverance.

 Among hateful things it is the most to be abhorred. Its injurious nature is so venomous that he that exercise it and he upon whom it is exercised are both hurt thereby. In thy case, O believer! it is most wicked, for the mercies of thy Lord in the past, increase thy guilt in doubting him now.

 When thou dost distrust the Lord Jesus, he may well cry out, "Behold I am pressed under you, as a cart is pressed that is full of sheaves." This is crowning his head with thorns of the sharpest kind.

 It is very cruel for a well-beloved wife to mistrust a kind and faithful husband. The sin is needless, foolish, and unwarranted. Jesus has never given the slightest ground for suspicion, and it is hard to be doubted by those to whom our conduct is uniformly affectionate and true.

 Jesus is the Son of the Highest, and has unbounded wealth; it is shameful to doubt Omnipotence and distrust all-sufficiency. The cattle on a thousand hills will suffice for our most hungry feeding, and the granaries of heaven are not likely to be emptied by our eating. If Christ were only a cistern, we might soon exhaust his fullness, but who can drain a fountain? Myriads of spirits have drawn their supplies from him, and not one of them has murmured at the scantiness of his resources.

 Away, then, with this lying traitor unbelief, for his only errand is to cut the bonds of communion and make us mourn an absent Savior. Bunyan tells us that unbelief has "as many lives as a cat:" if so, let us kill one life now, and continue the work till the whole nine are gone. Down with thee, thou traitor, my heart abhors thee.

"How long will it be ere they believe me?"
Numbers 14:11

The Bible Never Says God "Hates the Sin, but Loves the Sinner"

What caused me to ponder this statement was the poster that was making its way around Facebook and how often people make this statement.

The following is from Got Questions where I often go when looking for an answer for a biblical question and the answers are from men. So far, I have agreed with most of what they have written. Here is the answer to the question "Does God hate? If God is love, how can He hate?" 

It seems a contradiction that a God who is love can also hate. We are created with the capacity to both love and hate; it is part of our being created in the image of God. The fact that we are all tainted with sin does not negate the fact that the ability to love and hate is part of the image of God that was created within us all. Therefore, if it is no contradiction for a human being to be able to love and hate, then much more so would it not be a contradiction for God to be able to love and hate. 

When the Bible does speak of God hating, the object of God’s hatred is usually sin and wickedness. Among the things God hates are idolatry (Deuteronomy 12:31; 16:22) and those who do evil (Psalm 5:4-6; 11:5).Proverbs 6:16-19 outlines seven things the Lord hates: pride, lying, murder, evil plots, those who love evil, false witness, and troublemakers. Notice that this passage does not include just things that God hates; it includes people as well. 

The question that begs to be answered at this point is why does God hate these things? God hates them because they are contrary to His nature—God’s nature being holy, pure and righteous. In fact, David writes, “For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you” (Psalm 5:4 emphasis added). God is holy and hates sin. If He did not hate sin, He would not be holy. God is love, but He is also wrath, justice, and vengeance. But His wrath is a holy wrath and His justice and vengeance are holy as well. God’s love is holy. Therefore, He cannot "love everyone all the time no matter what they do," as some like to claim. Nothing could be further from the truth. God loves righteousness and holiness and hates sin and evil. If He did not, He would not be God. 

So if God hates sin and loves holiness, how does He love us? Simple. He loves us because we have the righteousness of Christ who became sin for us on the cross (2 Corinthians 5:21). He poured out His wrath and vengeance against sin on His Son, so that He could pour out His mercy and love on us. But without that sacrifice credited to us, His wrath and hatred remain on us because He hates our sin. The Bible never says He "hates the sin, but loves the sinner." In fact, He is “angry with the wicked every day” (Psalm 7:11). Is there a sense in which God loves everyone? Yes. Does that love preclude God from also hating sin, wickedness, and evil? No.

Critical Care Surgeon to Full Time Mother

Kathryn Butler was a trauma and critical care surgeon. She saved lives and worked long days. In today’s world, this is way more acclaimed and rewarded than any mother at home ever could be. After all, a mother at home is only raising children and that has low priority on the totem pole in today’s fast driven culture. Feminists cheer for Kathryn and society rejoices that yet another woman has broken the glass ceiling and can have it all. Yahoo! However, she had a baby who almost died and immediately understood the depth of love a mother has for her child; “he tore the floodgates to my heart wide open.”

She continued to work long hours since this is what mothers do today. She had another baby not long afterwards, returned to working long, grueling hours but soon realized that after missing her children’s first smile, step, and word, she knew it was time to resign and go home for good when she understood that she was the one needed to be home with her children, not her husband. “The harried days, the teaching, and the hours in the operating room, once so important, paled in comparison with my call to shepherd the children with whom God entrusted me. When my daughter, not yet nine months old, burst into tears as I lifted my backpack to leave for an out-of-state conference, the Lord drove the point home.”

She wrote, “Cradled in sin, we are born with a proclivity to pursue things that glorify ourselves, rather than those that glorify God.” It would be difficult to use mothering as a way to glorify ourselves since it has no awards, praise, recognitions or achievements from the world. Many today make it appear like it is the worst thing in the world for a woman to choose to do. This is why we must have the mindset when being a mother that we are giving up our sleep, sacrificing our bodies, time and talents for precious human beings. We are doing it to glorify God, since He is the One who asks us to have children, be keepers at home and be content while doing them. Don’t worry about having a name for yourself or making money to prove you are of value, mother. Contrary to what culture tells us, “You are not wasting your life being a mother!” Nothing that God calls women to do is a waste of a life, but you must take the feminist mindset that you have probably been raised with and exchange it for the Lord’s mindset and what He values. He values humility and humble service, not looking for worldly praise.

“Oh, but don’t you need a career to fall back on when your children are all grown?” Many have asked me this question whenever I write about women being wives, mothers, and keepers at home. Kathryn’s response to this was outstanding, “The premise rests on an understanding of personal satisfaction as the chief aim in life. For such well-meaning friends, hope depends on identity through accomplishment.” When children are grown up and gone, women today are pressured to go and finally “do something for you!” If you don’t need the money, how about doing something for the Lord, like teaching younger women, as the Lord asks us to do? Younger women are in desperate need for older women to come alongside them and help them in the ways of being a wife and mother. Do you know what a huge impact this would have on the Church and for the cause of Christ?

Young mother, never feel badly for being home with your children, not earning any money, and not having the world’s approval. You have the Lord’s approval and His is all that matters. You are storing your treasures in heaven.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

The Grand Experiment has Failed

Feminism had a plan. Get mothers out of the home, away from their children, and have other raise them. This was "freedom." They were able to do as they please, have their own money, and not have to do housework and be with their children all day. However, it has failed. Do you know how I know? We mentor many couples. Many spouses are completely messed up from not having a mother home full-time with them that was there loving, caring, disciplining, and training them. Therefore, they have a difficult time bonding to anyone and have deep emotional scars from it. This is happening with wives and husbands. I mentor many wives whose husbands are like this and Ken mentors husbands whose wives are like this. They are usually angry and have no clue how to love and be close to somebody.

It's not only women who are being physically abused, it's men too. They have to run from their wives or live  horrible lives within the four walls of their homes. It is the same for women. There are more divorces now that are initiated by women and more single mothers than ever. It has been devastating with long term consequences affecting many generations.

Stop the madness!!! Come home and love on your children. Discipline and train them in the ways of the Lord. Give them a lot of kisses, hugs, and kindness. Tell them you love them daily. Let them know you enjoy them and love being with them. Teach them about Jesus' love for them. Your children won't need to learn "self-esteem" at school. Having a mother home full-time is the greatest confidence booster children can have!

Feminists Want Sameness, Not Equality

"Feminism is simply women wanting to be equal to men and able to do everything a man does," said Meredith Vieira.  Another woman was quoted as saying that any women who wasn't a feminist was an idiot. Well then, I must be an idiot. However, feminism isn't fighting equality since we are already equal in the eyes of the Lord. Our value is the same and He loves us the same. What feminism is fighting is sameness. They want men and women to be the same but we can never be the same.

No woman will ever be able to play in the NFL, NBA, or any of the male sports. They aren't built strong enough or fast enough to be able to play. Right here proves that we can never be the same as men. I know feminists goal is to be able to have any job a man has and to be able to make the same pay. They should be able to sleep around like men do {although women are the ones who get pregnant and are more susceptible to STDs} and do whatever they want to do with their lives. They should even be able to become a man but no matter how hard they try, they will still have the DNA of a female. 

The consequences of women wanting to be the same as men has been devastating. Children are no longer being raised by their mothers. Millions of babies aren't even given life. Many men are out of work since most of the jobs are being taken. Half or more of the Universities are women. Divorce is common. No one is home taking care of the home and children. 

God built women for something completely different than he built men for. Men were created to go out and hunt for food and women to tend the home. 

Study to Be Quiet

This world is a noisy place. It is shouting to us all the time. The news shouts at us to dwell on the bad and ugly, and then worry about it since there’s nothing we can do about it. Hollywood shouts at us to have sex with whomever and whenever you want to and live the way that seems right for you. Advertisements shouts, “Buy me! Your life won’t be complete without this or that but hurry, there are only limited supplies and they go fast because everyone wants it!” It’s a mad, loud, and crazy world and it is not our own.

Then the Word who was made flesh comes along and tells us to “study to be quiet” (1 Thessalonians  4:11). He changed everything! Just as we have to learn to be content, we must learn to be quiet, especially we women since most of us love to talk and we are the ones given the admonition to have a “gentle and quiet” spirit. There are even Proverbs about a wife quarreling since words are the way we use to try to get our way and if we don’t, we quarrel until we do. If you don’t quarrel with your husband, your words will be much fewer. Men don’t like quarreling women since it takes away peace and most of them love peace.

So how do we learn to be quiet? For one thing, shut off anything that takes away your peace. If you are one to listen to the news and then fret and worry about it, stop listening to it. I have listened to hardly any news for months and my life is better. Instead of worrying, pray for our leaders as the Bible commands. Stop watching and supporting movies with immorality in them. If all Christians stopped watching them, it would make a huge impact. Limit television viewing. Tape your favorite shows and speed through the commercials like I do so I never have to see an advertisement. Stay out of malls since they shout at you too.

We are told to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Practice being a better listener. When people talk, listen to what they are saying and actually listen to them instead of trying to figure out what you are going to say next. When you want to argue with your husband or someone offends you and you want to fight back, bite your tongue and say nothing instead. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

Stay home if you are a mother with children.  The rest of the verse states, “and to do your own business and to work with your own hands.” Be busy with your hands within your home. When you see something that needs to be done, do it right then if you can. As soon as your children eat, clean up after them. After every meal, clean up and put away. Imagine how clean and tidy your home would be if your hands stayed busier than your mouth! (This includes writing on Facebook and twitter.) Make sure your business at home is what you focus your time and energy upon.

Your children will take a lot of your time since there is a lot that goes into raising, training, and disciplining children, especially when they are young. Teach your children to be quiet when they get older. Your modeling and using words of wisdom with them will have the greatest influence upon their lives. Do they hear you speaking words that are encouraging and uplifting? If we cut out all of the negative and critical words from coming out of your mouths, you would most likely become quieter. Never speak against your pastor on the way home from church, unless he has spoken something that was not true. Esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake (! Thessalonians 5:13). The more they hear you be optimistic and thinking the best of others, the more they will grow up to be the same. Let your words be wholesome and good words and in this way, you will learn to be quiet.

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, 21

Help Your Chidlren to Not Grow Up to Be Babies

There are jokes about men when they are sick and what babies they are during the trial of having a cold or flu. Yes, they are no fun to have but if you want your children to not grow up and whine and complain when they are sick, I have suggestions for you.

My children grew up with a sick mother, as many of you knew. I decided from the time they were young that I was going to suffer in silence since I didn't want them to suffer along with me due to my complaining. When they were sick and little, I would mostly would hold them on my lap since this is where they mostly wanted to be. However, as they grew a bit older, I wouldn't allow them to complain about what ailed them. If they were in pain or hurting, I would do what I could to make them feel better but I taught them not to complain. I didn't "baby" them when they were older.

Both of my daughters-in-law have told me that their husbands do not complain at all when they are sick. Erin has even told me that she doesn't even know when Ryan is sick. My other daughter, Emily, said that all of my children are tough. 

This world is tough. We are commanded to not complain. Each time the Israelites complained in the wilderness, God would bring punishment upon them. It's unpleasant to be around those who are negative a complain. When we complain, we are not trusting God with our lives and saying that what He has planned for us is not good. If you are a believer, every thing that happens to you is for your good.

We trained up our children to not complain, therefore, when they grew up and were adults, they don't complain. You don't want to baby them as they are growing older. If they are sick, tell them you don't want to hear their moaning, groaning, and complaining. Their future spouse will thank you for training them in this way! 

Should Christians Drink Alcohol?

Whether or not Christians should drink alcohol has been debated for hundreds of years so I am just going to give my opinion as I see from reading the Bible. Jesus was not against drinking wine since his first act was to change water into wine. Wine was also used to symbolize Christ's blood during the Passover supper. However, we do have some guidelines in how we are to drink it.

Paul writes that we can drink A LITTLE for our stomach's sake. Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities {1 Timothy 5:23}. Older women are told to NOT DRINK MUCH wine. The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things {Titus 2:3}.

In describing elders in the church, the Bible states NOT given to wine {I Timothy 3:3} while deacons are not given to much wine {1 Timothy 3:8}. Older men are commanded to be sober {Titus 2:2} In 1 Timothy 3:11, Paul commands wives to be sober.

We are also warned wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise {Proverbs 20:1} and in Romans 14:21, It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

Therefore, from these verses, I believe most can drink  A LITTLE and NOT MUCH wine. We are commanded to be sober at all times many times throughout the Scripture so each person needs to know how much they can drink to remain sober and to never be drunk. A little and not much is very clear about how much wine Christians should drink; just a little and not much. These words should be your guidelines if you do drink wine.

The Bible is clear that hard liquor is not good unless one is dying. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts {Proverbs 31:6}. It can probably be compared to giving someone morphine to dull the pain. In giving wine to those who have heavy hearts, I would still say that the amount should be just a little and not much.

If you are eating with an alcoholic or someone who has struggled with alcohol in the past or been negatively affected by alcohol in some way {alcoholic parents, major car accident, abused, etc.}, you should not be drinking any so as to not cause a brother or sister to stumble or be offended. Whatever we do, whether we eat or drink, should be glorifying to the Lord!

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. Proverbs 20:1

How You Love Those Who Have Hurt You

The Lord tells us to “increase and abound in love one toward another” (1 Thessalonians 3:12). This includes deeply loving difficult husbands! Can you deeply love your disobedient, mean, and ornery husband? This includes that relative that completely rubs you the wrong way and may even be cruel to you. Do you treat them with patience and kindness, a large part of what love means?

We are also commanded to not worry? It’s so easy to worry about the state of our country and who will be the next President. It’s incessantly on the news, thus feeding our fears. Hollywood is getting more perverse. Pornography is easily available to all. It is definitely growing darker and more evil on planet earth, so do we worry?

If you are a child of the King, you can easily love those who are mean and even evil. This isn’t our home so we can trust in the One who died for us. Listen to what Charles Spurgeon has to say about all of this.

“Inasmuch as Jesus has gone before us, things do not remain as they would have been, had He never passed that way. He has conquered every foe that obstructed the way. Cheer up O faint-hearted warrior. Not only has Christ traveled the road but He has slain your enemies!

Do you dread sin? He has nailed it to His cross!

Do you fear death? He has been the death of death!

Whatever foes may be before the Christian - they are all overcome! There are lions but their teeth are broken! There are serpents but their fangs are extracted! There are flames but we wear that matchless garment which renders us invulnerable to fire!

The sword that has been forged against us is already blunted; the instruments of war which the enemy is preparing have already lost their point.

The Breaker, Christ, has taken away all the power that anything can have to hurt us. Well then, the army may safely march on, and you may go joyously along your journey, for all you enemies are conquered beforehand! Your victory shall be easy, and your treasure shall be beyond all count!”

Because of all this, we can easily increase and abound in love towards one another, even that husband of yours who has caused so much pain in your life, that mean relative, and all those who may even hate you! Because Christ has conquered, we can rest in Him about our future, about who will be President, and how bad our culture becomes. We can walk with our heads held high, a smile on our face, joy in our hearts, and kindness in our speech and actions. Yes, you can do all of these women, because your Savior died for you!

On Christ the solid Rock I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand!

What are You Modeling for Your Children?

Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Be an example…in speech, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” Children are taught more by your example than your words. You can speak to them about the Word consistently but if you are not practicing what you teach, it won’t have an impact. You will have a greater influence upon your children’s lives than anyone or anything else. Take this seriously. You are molding eternal beings and your conduct will affect them until they die.

What is your speech like in front of your children? I hear mothers that call themselves “Christians” swear at their children and have no problem with using foul language. Their speech is not seasoned with salt but with rottenness. This should never be mothers! Your words should always be filled with kindness, encouragement, and never critical or demeaning others. Life and death are in the power of the tongue; to lift up or to tear down. Use your tongue to lift up the name of Jesus and build your children up.

What about the way you live? Are you careful to use your time wisely or do you spend it in frivolous pursuits? We should be known for good works; helping those around us in need and especially our families. Our times are short on this earth, therefore, we must use our time wisely and not fritter it away on the non-essentials.

Do you love others deeply? If you struggle with this, memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for this is the definition of love. If you aren’t being patient and kind towards your children, you are not truly loving them as the Lord has told you to love others. Yes, there will be difficult and hard times, but remember you are to believe the best, even of your children. Smother them with affection and kindness. It is the best gift you can give them.

What about faith? Do your children know you love the Lord deeply? If you asked them this question, how would they answer? Without faith, it is impossible to please the Lord or to raise godly children. Let your faith in the Risen Lord affect everything you do. Make sure church is a priority, regular times of prayer, and reading the Bible with them.

How about your purity? Are you careful what you read, watch, and listen to? If you tell your children they can only watch “proper” shows but you watch impure shows after they are you in bed, your hypocrisy will find you out. We must practice what we preach or it will all fall on deaf ears. Clean out your homes of any impurity. Teach your children about purity early and often. Pray they will yearn to be modest in the way they dress and pure with those of the opposite sex. Do everything in your power to keep them from impurity: Internet, TV shows, movies, and iPhones.

Finally, model integrity, honesty, kindness, and goodness to your children at all times, especially in the way you treat their father. Your respect and love towards him will have a greater influence on them than anything else you will do. Yes, all this may see overwhelming to you but remember, with God all things are possible.

Women Have a Tendency to Be Lazy and Gossip

Did you know it is human nature for women to be lazy and go from house to house? “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13). Women don’t want to stay at home but be out and about continually being away from the home and finding entertainment, a career and fulfillment instead of being where the Lord has called them to be. Do you see that the root of feminism is against God’s plan for women? Its entire mantra was to get women out of the home and it has accomplished what it set out to do.

This verse in Timothy was written long before cars were even invented so you can see how much easier it is for us to be away from the home than those in past generations. When the women left their homes, they could only go to their neighbor’s home. There they would gossip about others and tear their reputations apart. Now, with the advent of cars, Facebook, and twitter, it’s easy to leave our homes and spend it either pursuing careers, the malls, or wasting our time on the Internet.

What does God say about all of this? “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” This should be your goal in life, women. Godliness with contentment in the home is a beautiful, God-ordained role for us. How do you find contentment in the home while raising children all day when everything in our culture is screaming at you to find satisfaction outside of the home and be seekers of pleasure rather than seekers of God? It’s a decision you must make. Everything comes down to our thinking and controlling our thoughts: “I chose to find contentment in raising my children, being a help meet to my husband, and keeping a neat and tidy home.” If you are busy with all of these things, you won’t have time to continually seek pleasure and being entertained. “And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

Make a conscious decision every day that your home and family is where you will spend your time and be content. You don’t need to be busy with all kinds of activities that keep you away from the home. If you decide that you do indeed want to be godly and content, you must make a commitment to knowing the Word of God to learn what godliness looks like and you will “learn” as Paul said he had to do (Philippians 4:11) in order to be content being busy in home.

I learned to be content at home many years ago because of my health. God uses our trials and suffering for good. Now that you know that these are exactly what the Lord wants from you, learn how to do this. All it takes is a desire and commitment to godliness and contentment. Limit your time on the Internet. Make sure the jobs the Lord has given you in the home are attended to first before seeking to be entertained.

What about “speaking about things they ought not?” Women are good at being critical and judgmental of others. There is one person in my life who I am close to and I have never heard them say a bad word about anyone. They don’t have judgmental thoughts, either. They simply accept people just the way they are. Everyone loves being around them. No one would ever have to worry about them gossiping or slandering them. It’s so easy to be critical and judgmental of others but instead, we must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and refuse to gossip and slander others. Love thinks the best of others which includes our husbands. As soon as a negative or critical thought comes into your head about someone, remind yourself that you are to dwell on the good and lovely about others and think more highly of them than you do yourself. Remember, love bears all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

You Reap What You Sow

Written By Charles Spurgeon

We are here taught the great lesson, that to get, we must give; that to accumulate, we must scatter; that to make ourselves happy, we must make others happy; and that in order to become spiritually vigorous, we must seek the spiritual good of others. In watering others, we are ourselves watered. How? Our efforts to be useful, bring out our powers for usefulness.

We have latent talents and dormant faculties, which are brought to light by exercise. Our strength for labour is hidden even from ourselves, until we venture forth to fight the Lord's battles, or to climb the mountains of difficulty. We do not know what tender sympathies we possess until we try to dry the widow's tears, and soothe the orphan's grief. We often find in attempting to teach others, that we gain instruction for ourselves. Oh, what gracious lessons some of us have learned at sick beds!

We went to teach the Scriptures, we came away blushing that we knew so little of them. In our converse with poor saints, we are taught the way of God more perfectly for ourselves and get a deeper insight into divine truth. So that watering others makes us humble. We discover how much grace there is where we had not looked for it; and how much the poor saint may outstrip us in knowledge.

 Our own comfort is also increased by our working for others. We endeavour to cheer them, and the consolation gladdens our own heart. Like the two men in the snow; one chafed the other's limbs to keep him from dying, and in so doing kept his own blood in circulation, and saved his own life. The poor widow of Sarepta gave from her scanty store a supply for the prophet's wants, and from that day she never again knew what want was. Give then, and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and running over.

He that watereth shall be watered also himself.
Proverbs 11:25

Anything Worth Having Takes Work

Do you want a clean and tidy home? It takes hard work. It takes work to have well-disciplined children, nourishing and yummy meals, and a strong marriage. Everything that is worthwhile takes hard work and hard work provides a lasting reward in this life and the next.

Many in our nation has become quite lazy in the last several generation. Women would rather be on the Internet or watch TV than keep their homes clean and tidy. Many don't enjoy staying home with their children once they have them as it takes a lot of hard work to discipline and train them. Many decide to go out and get jobs, leaving their children to babysitters or daycare workers. I'd love it if they asked their children who they'd rather be raise by. They would all say their mamas.

It takes a lot of work to have strong, solid marriages. Most couples get married having a "get out of jail free" card in their back pocket, with divorce in case they want it. Throw the card away and make your marriage work out. Don't allow divorce to be in your vocabulary. If you are in a difficult marriage, find a godly, older woman to mentor you, be in the Word, read God-honoring blogs, books and articles. Fill you mind with Truth and then set yourself onto the hard work it takes to make your marriage great.

Marriage takes a lot of work, but even more so, a godly wife must set aside her natural inclination to get her needs met and instead go about meeting the needs and desires of others, especially her husband and children. This is the hardest thing for the newly wed wife to learn that she has given up self and take on a life of sacrificial love, just like her Savior did many years ago. Is this not the calling on all Christians' lives to empty ourselves of self and be filled back up with the servant life of Jesus? This is difficult, but after all, nothing that is rewarding in life comes without hard work and sacrifice.

Do you want to be happy in life and marriage? Then find the key in doing things God's ways and living out His values in your life. It is only when we joyfully accept our responsibilities head on without wavering or questioning that we find ourselves in love with what God says is most important for the here and now. This life of work and responsibility was intended to test our character and our faith so that we might be approved by God, "a workman who needs not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15).

Responsibility is our ability to choose our response, and in this case our response to God's Word, His will, and His ways. Happiness comes when we fully accept who we are in Christ and begin to live out our responsibilities as His children whose desire is to please Him in everything we do and say.  What joy there is in doing His will with the right attitudes and motives, knowing that it is Jesus who is living in and through us each and every moment of the day.

Do not look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which is also in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 2:4-5