Thursday, June 7, 2012

'How Tos' Of Mentoring

Some of you have asked me how to mentor young women since I exhort you to do that.  {The Bible exhorts you, also!} 

The first step is to pray about it.  Ask God to give you a ministry to young women and to show you how to do this.  Next, get involved in Bible studies at church and start developing friendships with other women.  It isn't just younger women who need to be mentored either.  Finding older women who are happily married and know God's ways aren't that easy to find. 

When I am in a bible study group, I just start sharing my experiences and what I have learned.  I have done it the wrong way, also.  Sometimes when I first meet a young woman and start sharing with her too strongly, I scare her and push her away.  You need to be very gentle in your approach, especially at first. 

Women don't like being told that they have any part in the destruction of their marriage.  They like to put all of the blame on the husband.  The greatest thing you can do is to point her in the direction of her faults in the marriage.  

Women are complicated!  If you have raised girls and boys, most of you would agree that girls are much harder to raise.  So why wouldn't that translate into wives being more of the cause of the destruction of a marriage than men?   When women can see their part, it is the first step to healing the marriage. 

Created To Be His Help Meet is the book I always use.  I LOVE that book.   I usually don't just tell them go and read it by themselves, because it can turn a lot of women off.  I have them read several chapters a week and have them highlight the points that impacted them.  We then get together and talk about things they loved and disagreed with but I tell them not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.  The majority of them end up loving the book, but it is hard to read! 

Elizabeth Elliot has some wonderful books, also.  She is a very wise woman with advice that I almost agree with 100%.

I usually mentor them for six months and then continue encouraging them by meeting with them for coffee or having them over for lunch.  I love the girls I have mentored!  I have mentored women whose husbands are having affairs, addicted to pornography, and those who just want a tune up.  They always end up having a better marriage. 

Always encourage them to work on themselves and let God work on their husbands.  God's ways are so good.  If you have any more questions, just ask them in the comment section. 

 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober , to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed .
Titus 2:3-5