Always Learning: Coming Out Of The Closet

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Coming Out Of The Closet

He has been very happily married for ten years. He has three beautiful daughters. He has just let everyone know he is gay. He knew when he was very young that he was attracted to men and not women. He told his best little girl friend when he figured it out.

They remained very good friends. She started dating someone when they grew up and he was jealous. They broke up and she got together with him. He is Mormon.

He stated that everyone has to give up something in the choices they make. If you are a doctor, you have to give up family time. If you watch pornography or read trashy novels, you will harm your marriage relationship. He realized if he lived the gay lifestyle, he would have to give up having a wife and children. He didn't want to give that up so he decided to not pursue a gay lifestyle. He also knew it was against his faith and beliefs.

He has a powerful story to tell. I encourage you to read it here. Being gay does not mean you are a sinner or that you are evil. Sin is in action, not in temptation or attraction. You don't get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose what you do with them.

He has gone on to live a wonderful life. He has a great sex life with his wife because he knows sex is about love and intimacy over lust and feelings. He loves raising his daughters. He came out of the closet to give other gays hope that they, too, can live a normal lifestyle if they choose. They don't have to give into their temptations.

We all are like this man. We all have struggles and temptations but we don't have to give into them. Sin has horrible consequences. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. He works powerfully within us. He tells us that we can do all things through Him.

This man's story is amazing. It is inspiring in this day and age where everyone just gives into their passions and pleasures. He is reaping what he is sowing. He feels so blessed and loves his life.

There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:

but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be

tempted above that you are able;

but will with the temptation also make a way to escape,

that you may be able to bear it.

I Corinthians 10:13

Comments (16)

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enthusiasticallydawn 40p · 667 weeks ago

Thank you for posting this story. God is able. Let each one who claims his name, say freely I have received grace- freely shall I give it : Grace is a gift from God. To be received and gien to our brothers and sisters in Christ, because non of us deserve it But He has not withheld it - I pray that more Believers were learn how to give it so that more of those entrenched in sinful lifestyles would be drawn to this grace...Romans 12:1-2

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I'm T · 667 weeks ago

Wow. I don't know what my reaction is to his story yet.

My only thought now is how extremely brave he is to share over the internet for so many people to read...

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Tiffany · 667 weeks ago

I read this a few days ago. Very fascinating and interesting to say the least!

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Angel Smith · 667 weeks ago

I have to disagree with your statement that being gay does not mean that you are a sinner. The Bible teaches that homosexualty is a sin:
Rom 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
Rom 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Rom 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Of course we are all sinners and we all do struggle with our own temptations and sins. I'm not a gay-hater but I just disagree with justifying the sin.

2 replies · active 667 weeks ago

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Robin · 667 weeks ago

I think that "living" gay is a sin. Even those verses focus on the physical acts of homosexuality, rather than the inner aspects of it. I think it's similar to adultery. I might look at a man who's not my husband and think he's attractive, but that would be as far as it goes. I'm not going to spend my time thinking about having a relationship with him, any more than I would actually do it. I am faithful to my own husband, no matter what.

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Lisa Maria · 667 weeks ago

I have to agree with Robin. No one is justifying sin here...God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for their actions. If this man was acting on his impulses, yes he would be a sinner, but he is doing the exact opposite. He acknowledges his natural (or unnatural if you will) desires, but he CHOOSES not to act upon them. The only way he would be sinning would be if he kept fantasizing about homosexual relationships. I, for one, think he is very brave and a wonderful example of how, through God, we can overcome the flesh and the world. Let us pray for him for strength because it cannot be easy to live day after day purposefully and intentionally choosing that which your nature tells you is not right for you.

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Brit · 667 weeks ago

I read this a few days ago. I thought it was really interesting! I do not think he is sinning by being physically attracted to guys instead of girls... he can't control that. He can definitely control what he does with his temptations. He has chosen to overcome his temptation to be with men... and I think that is such a wonderful testimony!!

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Elle · 667 weeks ago

1 Corinthians 6:11

Seems to apply...to some.

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Cynthia Swenson · 667 weeks ago

I think it's crucial to examine our thought life for purity. Every thought must be "brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ ". ( 2 Corinthians 10:5 ) The Bible clearly teaches God intended sex to have boundaries in a loving, covenental relationship between one man & one woman. Anything that deviates from God's clear plan is a perversion. Repentance must include changing our minds to conform with God's clear will for our lives. Impure thoughts are sinful, that includes homosexual temptations. They must be rejected . Romans 12:2, " Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you'll be able to test & approve what God's will is; His good, pleasing, & perfect will." Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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ayearinskirts 66p · 667 weeks ago

I too read this story about a week ago and I must say it's one of the most powerful things I've read. I feel like I'm still processing it!!!
I do like that he showed how a gay person can make a different choice to lead a family life with biological children. I definitely get how sad it would be to have to give that up.
And, I can also see how many gay people would not be able to make the choice to be with the opposite sex and do so in such a full loving manner.
I struggle with the concept that God would deny all these people a life partner.
So for those who are living with a gay partner, even though it isn't ideal, I do support monogamy. I think monogamy is pleasing to God. (Though I don't believe we should be re-defining marriage, I think civil unions are appropriate.)

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Lisa Maria · 667 weeks ago

Lori, thank you so much for sharing this. It was extremely inspiring.

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Mrs. P · 666 weeks ago

I too wasn't sure how to react to this story when I first read it. Like other commenters have said, I don't think the fact that he has homosexual feelings means that he's living in sin. He has chosen not to give in to that temptation. I guess what bothered me about what he wrote is that he never straight up said that homosexual actions are sinful. At least I didn't notice him saying that anywhere; if he did please correct me. Yes, he said that homosexuality is against his belief system. But it seemed like he didn't want to participate in homosexuality because he could no longer be a member of the Mormon church if he did, not necessarily because he believes it's sinful. I got the feeling that he personally chose not to "live gay" because he wanted to be a Mormon with a wife and kids, but he didn't seem to have a problem with other people who choose to live gay. Maybe I just misunderstood him.

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Bekah M. · 666 weeks ago

I think it is important not to overlook the fact that this man is a Mormon, and he is following another gospel than that preached in the Word of God. His story is an interesting anecdote regarding the way that society deals with the sin of homosexuality, but this is not an example for a true follower of Christ to emulate or promote. Sin is sin. Sin is anything - word, thought, deed or motive - that is contrary to God's PERFECT holy standard. We are born into sin and are accountable for any and all sin within us. That is why the gospel is such incredible news! We don't have to differentiate between which sins are more or less our fault. We are sinners, unable to save ourselves. But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Through the free gift of faith, we can be set free from sin and clothed in the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ, who died for our sins.

2 replies · active 665 weeks ago

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guest · 666 weeks ago

Well said, Bekah.

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Sarah · 666 weeks ago

Amen, Bekah M.! Mormons are trying to go to heaven based on their own works, so no wonder this guy is working so hard to not commit the act. However, apart from Christ (which Mormons are) no one can overcome sin, otherwise His death and resurrection would be pointless. It is through Christ alone that homosexuals can be forgiven and repent of that lifestyle and just as the Bible says that we become a new creation in Christ and that He will give us new hearts with new desires, we have to know that He will give the person guilty of homosexuality not only the ability to refrain from the act, but also change us so that we now hate that sin. Repentance means not only admitting you were wrong, but to turn completely from that sin and to now hate what we once loved and were in bondage to, because we have a greater love from Christ. I would encourage anyone who wants to hear about an actual Christian being delivered from homosexuality to listen to this 2 part interview with a man who lived years as a gay man only to have God completely change him, his life, and desires. It is a true story of God's grace and not man's willpower to resist temptation.
Part 1: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=721...
Part 2: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=722...

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Debbie · 663 weeks ago

What you wrote is well said.. The sin is the action.

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