Monday, October 8, 2012

Should The Man Always Pay?

Yes, I believe he should always pay.  Men are created to be the protectors and providers and by always paying shows he takes that role very seriously.

I just heard that most men like the women to pay at least half.  They are becoming more and more selfish and falling farther away from wanting to protect and provide for a woman. {Part of the problem exists, I believe, because women don't want to be protected and provided for anymore.}

A new study said that when household jobs are split between men and women, the divorce rate is 50% over those who have clearly defined roles.  These roles are that a woman's main job is to take care of the home and the man's is to provide.

These are ideal situations and I know life isn't ideal but we should always strive for the ideal.  Life works better for men and women where there are clearly defined roles.  The woman's main role is to be a keeper at home and raise children if she has them {the nester and the nuturer} and the man is the provider and protector.  These roles are clearly spelled out in Scripture and God's ways always work best.

The majority of little girls love playing with baby dolls and mothering them.  If you asked them what they want to be when they grow up, many would say a mommy.  Young women are no longer comfortable responding this way.  They want to be a nurse or teacher, etc. which are all  honorable professions but  being a mom, in my opinion, is the best.

So, what do you think...Do you think a man should always pay?
But if any man does not provide for his own,
and especially for those of his household,
he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 
1 Timothy 5:8
Young woman...To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:5

Wifey Wednesday

Comments (13)

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I think men should always pay. You said it clearly and explaining women and men's role to perfection! That's why families kept together in the olden days. I remember my boss in NY when I was single..Mr. Dayan was so rich that he always gave Mrs. Dayan a huge piece of jewelry from Harry Winston and I once asked her if it was difficult for her to give her husband a gift on his b'day, to were she answered:..no, I give him the sweater. That's it, I never forgot, I give hubby the sweater, the shirt and maybe some expensive machine he likes, but usually the sweater, lol.. Loved your post, Lori.
FABBY
1 reply · active 650 weeks ago
Great story! Thanks for sharing Fabby.
I'm 29 and have never been on a date, so I'm inexperienced in these matters. I actually thought about this very topic this morning. I believe that men should always pay, but society (particularly where I live) says that's not right. Thank you for this post. As you mentioned, "God's ways always work best."
Not necessarily. At least in the beginning, I think that the person whose idea the date was should be the one to pay. And no one should have to pay to take themselves out to a birthday date.

Do you think that a man should always be the one to initiate a date?
3 replies · active 650 weeks ago
Agree with Lori here. A guy needs to have the leadership and initiative to ask a lady out and yes, he should pay. The problem is people think they have to spend a lot of money. Do dates you can afford. Go for a hike, picnic go to the beach etc. If a lady doesn't like it she is not the lady for you because that is the reality of your budget and an accurate reflection of the lifestyle that your income will support should you marry.
oops meant to add that of course if you are in an established relationship I have no problem with a lady doing something special or taking the guy out for his birthday. But that assumes you already have an established relationship. However, I still never felt comfortable buying dinner for a guy I would usually cook something special for his birthday (should say I am a very good cook) or do something special for him.
I guess I am old fashioned, because I agree that the man should pay. I also think that in a dating relationship, the man should do the calling and pursuing for the most part. That was how I was when I was single and in college, and although I think it turned away some men, it also narrowed it down to the type of husband I ultimately wanted. I am so thankful I have that "old fashioned" husband who treats me so well and is such a gentleman!
When we go out for a meal, my husband pays, however it will depend sometimes on who is carrying the money. In our house I manage all the finances and bill paying/savings etc as I am far better with numbers. It really doesn't matter how things are done in a family - as long as both the husband and wife agree and happy with the arrangement. There is no "norm"

I am currently the one earning the income in our family - it doesn't cause any problems as my husband is having a change of career and this is my way of supporting him. I am also the keeper of our home and of our adult children and I don't expect my husband to do these things, even though he is currently at home.
I'd say that the man should USUALLY pay. I wouldn't go so far as to say ALWAYS. There are times where it may be appropriate for the woman to pay or for them to go dutch. For example, when my husband and I were dating I surprised him on his birthday (I had the day off work and he didn't know) and took him out to eat. I paid because it was his birthday and because he wasn't expecting that expense. Other situations might arise in which expenses are split. For example, if boyfriend and girlfriend travel to the same place, it would be quite appropriate for the woman to pay for her own hotel room (which should, of course, not be the same room as her boyfriend stays in). I don't think situations like that should be the norm though. In general, the man should pay for dates to indicate his acceptance of the provider role. I'm all in favor of that principle. I'm just not sure it's a hard and fast rule that he must always pay.
Honestly, I don't agree that the man should always pay. Sometimes it's just not practical. When my husband and I were dating, there was a year where I was working full time earning a great salary with great benefits, while my husband was only working part-time earning a small amount of money and going to college. I would have felt extremely guilty for forcing him to pay anytime we went out just because he is the man.

Fast forward a few years and we're married and both working, without any children (we're not ready for kids yet). We combined our finances, so to me, it really doesn't matter who takes out the credit card and pays for the meal when we go out, as it is "our" money -- not just his or not just mine, but ours. We're both responsible for our well-being. When we do decide to have kids, I may have to continue working. I would like to work only part-time, but that just might not be possible due to job situations as I'm currently the one who earns more money. I don't think this makes my husband any less of a man or a provider for us, it just means that life is not necessarily ideal and we have to do what we have to do in order to make ends meet.

Plus, my husband and I share housework between the two of us. There are some days where I work a non-traditional schedule and come home around 7:30 or 8:00 in the evening and my husband will cook dinner for us and have cleaned the house. Then, there are other days when my husband will come home and I will have dinner waiting for him and the house will be nice and clean.

Trust me, I'm not a troll but I am a Christian and I believe in the Bible. However, some couples can't have clearly defined roles in their marriages and that is okay. That doesn't mean that the couple is any less Christian or that their marriage is doomed to fail. It just means that they have to do things a little differently for a while.
1 reply · active 650 weeks ago
I AGREE PAM!. I too am a Christian, Born again! I believe that in order to make sure we aren't becoming like a Pharisee - practicing routines and rituals just because - we need to apply godly love and consideration to every situation. Praying for your date - if it makes sense to - is being considerate. However, if the man NEVER pays, or is reluctant even when he clearly can...that would be a HUGE red flag! Provider (potentially) he is NOT!
Oldfashionista's avatar

Oldfashionista · 590 weeks ago

I'm 25 and i believe in this strongly. I was raised in a very traditional family. "Know your role" has now become an offensive phrase in society, although it is not meant to be if not used in a derogatory manner. A woman is the one that should tend to her husband and children's needs, by showing love, respect, and taking care of the home while the man should be the head of the household by protecting and providing to his wife and children. This is what broke up a "great" relationship I had, our differences lied in this area and it was not something that could be fixed by an agreement. Men think women are all about equality these days when men really are too. Many men expect women to provide as well as clean, cook, raise the children and tend to their needs sexually. You cant have it all.

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