Casting The First Stone

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. 

{John 8:7}

Women who have husbands that are caught in pornography are sometimes asked to separate from them.  I think this is the wrong advice.  The Bible says that if wives have husbands that are disobedient to the Word, the wives will win their husbands without a word as they watch their wives live godly lives. {I Peter 3:1}  It also tells us that a believing wife is not suppose to leave her husband.
{I Corinthians 7:13}

I always wonder what sins the wife is committing ~

Is she nagging, manipulating, or trying to change him?

Is she negative and critical towards him?

Does she show him disrespect by rolling her eyes, correcting him, and arguing with him?

If she isn't doing any of these things, but instead is loving, serving, pleasing, easily forgiving, and respecting him, then maybe she can sit in judgement of him.  She must be very careful, however, to not judge his sin so much worse than hers and feel self-righteous about it.

If you have a husband caught in pornography, hopefully he will confess it,  pray about it, and want to be held accountable.  If not, you pray for him and love him anyways.  No, it is not easy but it is God's ways and His ways work a lot better than our ways.

Men who are trapped in pornography are in a trap, a deadly trap.  They hate it and what it does to them.  They are in a pit and God can use you to help him climb out of that pit.  Godly wives sanctify their husbands. {I Corinthians 7:14} As you live Jesus in front of them, they will be convicted of their sin and may even be released from it.

The Goal In Disciplining Children

The goal in disciplining your children should be that they love God and obey Him.  When they were young, ages one to five, we spent most of our time disciplining and training our children to be obedient to us.  We reasoned if they learned to be quickly obedient to us, they would be quickly obedient to God when they got older.

We realized the importance of them knowing Jesus as their personal Savior from a young age.  Without them knowing Him, nothing else mattered to us.  We would sing gospel songs to them when they were young.  We had them memorizing Scripture from an early age.  If their hearts don't change from the power of God, all your disciplining methods will be worthless in the end.  Heaven was our goal.

Having said all that, Ryan does remember being spanked!  I told you in this post I didn't think my children even remembered being spanked and we didn't spank after five years old, but he does remember two times he was spanked around five or six.  One time he lied to me so I spanked him for lying.  He said he remembers Ken spanking him one time but he couldn't recall why.  He said Ken spanked harder and longer than I did!

So I put out a questionnaire to the rest of my children to get their perspective on spanking and what they recall.  I always want to be as honest as I can with all of you.  My memory isn't great so I am glad I asked my children to get their perspective.

Steven remembers one time being spanked by Ken.  He said he had no bad feelings about it.  All of my children expressed that sentiment to me.  Cassi remembers every single time she got in trouble.  She has such a tender heart and hated to disappoint us.  She remembers several times she got spanked and just remembers me using my leather strap.  She doesn't remember the pain at all.

Matthew Henry wrote ~ It is better that he should cry under thy rod than under the sword of the magistrate or, which is more fearful, than under divine vengeance.

Therefore,  you can use spanking if you use it in a way that is constructive to the child or any other method you choose as long as your goal is to train them to be obedient.  Children want discipline.  Life is a lot easier when they grow up as disciplined adults.  It is much better they learn discipline from you, rather than from the government, or worse, from God.

 Teach them to be other-centered and not self-centered.  The world doesn't revolve around them.  We are here to love God and serve others.  Teach them this early. 

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 4

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child;  but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15

Wedding Day Love Letter

When we were all in the dressing room watching Alyssa get ready for her big day, one of the groomsmen came in and said he had a message to give to Alyssa.  Then he stood there and read this to her in all of our presence ~

To my most beautiful bride ~

You are far beyond the woman of my boldest prayers and deepest desires.

Reality would not allow me to dream of marrying a girl like you, but by amazing grace and a divine miracle, God has brought us together for His good will and my unspeakable bliss.

 I am overjoyed to be marrying you today, and I could not be more sure of my desire to spend the rest of my life with you in obedience to the Lord.

I can't wait to see you, and I know that you will look absolutely gorgeous.

I adore you,  Alyssa.

All my love,

all my life,

Jon.
 

This, my friends, is a true love story.  God's love stories are the best.

Ken was talking to Alyssa the other day and she said she was watching Jon work out.  On the weekends when he is home, he wants to spend every moment with her. 

His parents are like that...They LOVE being with each other all the time.  They delight in each other.  Jon had very good role models. 

Alyssa is blessed to have him as her husband.  They both asked God to choose their spouse. Men can learn something from Jon.  He, of course, would say that he is only able to be the man that he is because of God's work in him.  He always wants to give God the glory for the life that he leads.

So find a man that loves God with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength.  It is a huge added benefit if they were raised in a godly home with godly parents.  Those roots being deep in Jesus are a much greater possibility.  For God said that the purpose of marriage is to produce godly offspring.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

His Pursuit Of Her

In celebration of their one year anniversary, I wanted to repost Jon's version of their love story.  He is quite a good story writer and to get it from the guy's perspective was very entertaining.  Enjoy!


I distinctly recall, about a year ago, confiding very cautiously in Tyler LaBelle, that I might, just maybe, like Alyssa. I had to be careful who I told because failure was an ever-present reality.

Until that point, I had hardly more than observed Alyssa around the Alexander house when she would be home from Jackson for a visit. I immediately noticed countless admirable qualities about her, none more obvious than her ability to make me feel like I had no chance.

Her confidence was unshakable, and her steady composure didn't entertain the hindrance of a guy like me. At this, I conceded any efforts to steal her attention, and I tried to convince myself that she wasn't all that great. My plan didn't work for long.

The night that I realized I could no longer ignore Alyssa was after she had visited a bible study that Ben Weiland and I had lead and inadvertently made a huge impression on everyone there. My all-guys prayer group at the end of the night was distracted by talk of "the new girl" who was "the hottest and holiest" they had ever seen. I haven't stopped crushing on her since.

At that point I needed a second opinion on my chances. So I told Tyler that I would do my best to hang out with her when she was home for Christmas break and I would "see if I liked her". In reality, I wanted to see if there was any possibility of her liking me. Tyler wasn't optimistic.

Nevertheless, I forced my way into some Christmas shopping that I knew she needed to complete, but I had no reason for. I tried my best to be interesting, but I grew more disheartened as time went on, and Alyssa didn't let her stone-cold poker face ease one bit.

My next chance was at Ryan and Erin's wedding. I almost flirted myself to exhaustion trying to get Alyssa's attention, all the while trying not to jeopardize my poise, of course. The closest I came to a breakthrough happened after waiting up until midnight to get a chance to talk to her alone. I feel like I did a pretty good job, but again, Alyssa didn't flinch, and I went to bed exhausted, wondering if my efforts were in vain.

I accepted the invitation to spend a week with the Alexanders in Door County, solely motivated by my third (and final, I was sure) chance to make something happen with Alyssa. After some talk of her considering moving home from Jackson for good, I was eager to offer my advice.

Much to my dismay, immediately after meeting her at the airport in Milwaukee I learned that she had made the decision to stay with Ballet Mag and continue touring for at least another year. I thought to myself, "Well, I made the trip out here; I may as well give it my best shot."

Thus ensued a week of swimming in the lake, conversations by sunset and exploring Door County on mopeds, all in an effort to pique Alyssa’s interest in me. I have never had to work so hard in my life. At the end of it all, with no more than a day left to spend, I went all in and professed to Alyssa my profound admiration toward her, explaining that if she would just move home, I would pursue her wholeheartedly, just like she deserved. I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and awaited her reply...

...it couldn't have been more devastating. My senses deserted me. My stomach fell out. I felt as though my mind had left my body, and I was watching the situation unfold from a third-person perspective. Alyssa was turning me down, and there was nothing I could do but watch.

She explained with perfect prose that she felt good about her decision to stay in Jackson, and she was content being single for the time being. I was completely unable to formulate coherent thoughts from that point on, so I politely wished her a good night and went to bed.

I didn't sleep for long. I woke up with a bothered mind and did my best to shake it all off with a five mile run and an early morning swim in the lake. Upon my return I found Alyssa sitting on the back deck, overlooking the lake, reading her Bible - of course. Decency told me that I should initiate conversation even if just to apologize for even mentioning the idea that she would date me.

I ventured a shaky sentence, "Umm...so, sorry about that conversation last night - it was out of the blue, I know." She made an effort to go easy on me. "No, I'm glad you told me how you feel. Don't apologize."

I spent the next few seconds thinking to myself about how post-rejection sympathy is the kind of sympathy that hurts more than it helps. But I was caught completely off guard by her next words. "I need to tell you that I like you too."

It took some time for the idea to take root in my brain. Excitement rose slowly from my stomach to the top of my head until my ears were ringing. I tried not to show it. I felt as though my heart was sending high voltage messages to my brain that my brain wasn't sophisticated enough to understand, so I said something stupid like, "Well, that's good to know."

The sun broke through the clouds a short while later ending two days of gloom. The waters of Lake Michigan turned from gray to blue. The temperamental weather of Door County, Wisconsin seemed to be mimicking my troubles, but the obvious metaphor actually didn't occur to me until several days later.

Alyssa became my girlfriend the following Sunday. We were engaged less than four months later. Even still, I often wonder to myself how this could all be real and the butterflies in my stomach regularly taunt my efforts to maintain my usual stoic manliness. I can't help but act giddy when I'm around her.

--Jon

Here is a recap of their beautiful wedding day!

 I have found the one whom my soul loves. 
Song of Solomon 3:4

My Gold Mercedes

Yes, isn't it beautiful!  It is over 28 years old and has over 300,000 miles with the same engine it was born with.  {The picture actually makes it look better than it looks in real life.  The paint is all worn off and the seats are torn.}  My mom drove it for many years and then she gave it to us.  Both my boys learned how to drive in this car and drove it for the first two years after getting their driver's licenses. 

It can go from zero to 35 miles per hour in 15 minutes flat!  They NEVER got a ticket driving that thing.  It is a diesel and you usually have to drive it in the slow lane on the freeway, because it can't drive above 55 miles per hour. 

It is a GREAT car for young boys to start off with.  They never got in trouble.  They went to a high school that had a lot of wealthy families in it.  We liked them driving that car.  We wanted them to not care about keeping up with the Jones' and material wealth.  We wanted them to not mind having old, used things. 

Their worth came from Christ and Christ alone.  They were taught they were worthy because of Him.  He calls them His sons and daughters.  

I asked Ken several months ago if we could get rid of it.  We share one car.  We both work out of the home.  I am a homemaker and he is a management consultant.  We really only need one car.  This car is an eye sore.  It is hardly ever used. 

I don't like clutter so I asked him if we could sell it.  He said he didn't want to because people borrow it and we need it sometimes when one of us is using our good car.  I wanted to argue with him.  Then I remembered I am suppose to be submissive and obey him.  We kept the car. 

Well, wouldn't you know it, in the last month I have driven it at least six times!  He needed our car for business and I needed a car for mentoring.  Ryan is using it now, because his car is broken.  I am so happy I listened to him.  Even if he turned out to be wrong, I would still be right for obeying God and Ken.  Pleasing God is all that really matters.

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

I John 5:3

Powdered Laundry Soap and Dishwasher Detergent

We've been using this laundry powder for years and love it! If you are washing your clothes in cold water, heat up a cup of hot water to dissolve the powder in first before putting it into the washing machine.

1 box Borax

1 4lb. box of baking soda

1 box of Washing Soda

3 bars Fels-Naptha Soap or Ivory or Dr. Bonner's Soap

5 1/2 cups Oxyclean

Grate the soap finely in a food processor.  Mix in a bit of the washing soda to prevent the soap from getting sticky. Combine all the ingredients in a 5 gallon bucket and stir well.

Use 1 to 2 Tablespoons per load.  It comes out to about 3 cents a load. It does a great job and even works in cold water with whites and darks!

I bought the Fels-Naptha here.  Some women have told me they can get it cheaper at Walmart or Ace Hardware. Our Walmart carries all of the supplies. You can also use Dr. Bonner's Bar Soap which I have been using lately and love it!

Also, if you can't find Washing Soda, I read that you just have to spread baking soda on a cookie sheet and bake it at 350 degrees for 30 minutes and you'll have washing soda.

I just put it in a glass container and leave it on my dryer with a Tablespoon in it all ready to go.  Make sure you keep it sealed or it may start clumping up.  It smells wonderful!

Amazing Dishwasher Detergent

This stuff makes your dishes come out of the dishwasher sparkling clean! I realize the Dawn and OxiClean may not be completely environmentally friendly but you use such a small amount in every load so I am sure it is much better than Cascade!

Mix together ~

1 teaspoon OxiClean
1/2 teaspoon Dawn
Put it into Dishwasher Dispenser

Put 1/2 cup of vinegar on the top shelf.

That's it and your dishes will come out so clean!

Feeding Pets Raw Meat?

Let me just start this post by saying I am not a veterinarian. They would probably completely disagree with what I am about to tell you. Mine did.

Meeting with one of the young women I mentor, she told me she had to miss work because her cat had an asthma attack. What? I have heard that house pets are getting all the diseases that humans are getting because they are eating cooked, processed, dead food just like most humans are eating.

 What do animals in the wild eat? Cats and dogs would eat fresh, raw meat that they had just killed. So I reason that they must be meant to eat raw meat. Whenever I get organic, whole chickens from Costco, I feed the cats the gizzards, liver and kidney from inside of the chicken. They love it! I have heard it not only keeps them healthier, but keeps their teeth clean. {Don't they look healthy; nice shiny fur!}

I also buy dry cat food that is free from having any grains in it. Animals were not meant to eat grains.  They mostly eat this but have some raw meat when I have it. I don't want them to die from diabetes, asthma, heart disease, or cancer if I can help it. I know. I'm strange but it makes sense that they are healthiest if they eat the way God intended them to eat just as we are much healthier if we eat food as close to the way God intended for us to eat it.

Let me just warn you about something. If you decide to start giving them some raw meat, do it in small quantities at first.  They may have diarrhea and pass gas until their digestive system gets used to it. My cats had those problems at first but now they never do. {We even called one of them "stink bug" for awhile!} Good luck! :)

Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast,
 but the mercy of the wicked is cruel. 

Proverbs 12:10

Integrity Through Trials

Bradley, my nephew, LOVES basketball!  Steven, my son, had a fairly successful high school basketball experience.  He started as the point guard on the varsity team his freshmen year.  He played almost every minute all four years.  His senior year, his team went to the state championship game at Arco Stadium in Sacramento.

Bradley is a few years younger than Steven.  He went to almost all of Steven's home games and even some of his away games.  He was Steven's number one fan!  He and his family drove all the way to Sacramento to see Steven play. 

He was very disciplined and worked out hard doing many push-ups and sit-ups every day.  He wanted to play high school basketball so badly.  He shot a ton of baskets daily getting prepared for it. When he finally got to high school, he didn't play much.  It broke my sister's heart. {Ken did remind me that he was the best three point shooter on the team!}

I couldn't go to many games, because of my neck fusion and the pain it caused.  I did go to several, however.  Bradley was the biggest cheerleader on that team.  He would stand up during the game cheering the players on.  As soon as they came back to the bench, he would  be the first one up patting the guys on the back and encouraging them.

He got to play some and when he did, my sisters would cheer him on loudly.  They knew he loved to play and he was a good player.  He received the Eagle Award his senior year.  That goes to the player who showed the most integrity on the team.

Dennis Prager says that the losing team always is learning more than the winning team.  Bradley learned a lot more through his disappointment, than Steven did through his success. 

He learned that life isn't fair. 

He learned that you don't always get what you want, even if you work really hard. 

He learned to keep a good attitude, even when he was so disappointed. 

He learned to cheer others on, even when he wanted to be playing so badly.

He learned to rejoice with those who rejoice, even if he didn't feel like it.

Bradley has turned into an incredible, young man.  He is a man of integrity.  Not living his dream has been okay.  Yes, it was hard but in the scope of life, it wasn't all that important.  Pleasing the Lord in all things is a much more important lesson and Bradley learned that well.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor than silver or gold. 
Proverbs 22:1

P.S.  I shared this with my parents the other day.  They were both weeping when I finished.  My mom said, "I feel so badly for Bradley."  My dad said, "I would rather him get the Eagle Award and walk with Jesus than be the first round draft pick in the NBA."  The precious love of grandparents for their grandchildren!

True Freedom In Submission

There are some incredibly intelligent women that comment on my blog frequently.  I am smart, but I wouldn't say I am highly intelligent!  I love learning and sharing, but as you can see, my message is usually pretty simply stated. 

Andrea, from The Rightthinker, is one of those incredibly intelligent women.  I wanted to share with you one of her comments she left on my blog about submission, because I thought it was SO good!

The most interesting aspect to me, of critics of biblical submission in marriage, is not that it is Scriptural or not {it clearly is, it's rather if a person wishes to accept the Bible as Truth or not} but rather the "but" argument.

Whenever a person begins an argument with "but", it completely disregards what comes before it. For example, "Yes, God commands submission and roles for women and men, but I know an abuser who....." So, the comment there is that the commandment is negated by the sinfulness and disregard of His Word by some people.

Additionally interesting to me, is that women who have humbled their hearts enough to submit to their husbands, are the ones who have the very happiest of marriages. The husbands are the happiest, and supported in order to be the leaders of the home financially and spiritually.

They don't need to come home and compete with a woman who desires to be the leader. There is little to no fighting..there is complete unity..there is marital solidity in every way. God's plan is always perfect, no matter how much society pretends it's too outdated.

Those who reject God's teachings on submission don't live in a marriage where it takes place, and therefore cannot understand the joy and the growth in Christ that it brings. They hold onto their worldly ways with such ferocity that all we are able to see is their anger and hatred for the very role for which they were so beautifully created.

Ladies, there is joy in laying down the feminist myth in pursuit of obedience to God's Will. His ways are better than our own. You can fool yourself about the reasons you don't wish to comply, but don't fool yourself that it's God's Will.

People think that if they get to do things their own way, then they will be free.  No, true freedom comes from doing things God's way.  The TRUTH absolutely sets you free.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22,23

Lost Art Of Homemaking

Women aren't taught the importance of homemaking anymore.  One of their most important jobs, if they are a wife and mother, is to keep a clean, tidy home and prepare healthy, nourishing food.  There are just too many distractions that seem to cause women to neglect these important jobs.

Many women don't even cook anymore. The single most important thing to having healthy bodies is to prepare your own food from scratch. This takes time. If you eat a lot of fresh food, you have to shop more often. Washing and cutting up salads and vegetables takes a lot of time, but it is worth it. 

Healthy husbands and children should be a priority over spending time on the computer, watching television, or doing home projects.  It should even be more important than church Bible studies or other ministries.  Your first ministry is to your family.

Clean and tidy homes should also be a priority. God is a God of order, peace, and beauty.  You need to spend time every day making sure your home is picked up and cleaned. Train your children to help you as soon as they start walking. Here are several verses about disorder ~

I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding:  And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. 

Proverbs 24:30,31

By much slothfulness the building decays; and through idleness of the hands the house drops through. 

Ecclesiastes 10:18

We need to be good steward of what the Lord has blessed up with. We need to be hard workers and take good care of our family's health and home. We need to be lights to a dark world in all areas.

Don't let clutter take control of your life. You take control of clutter. Remember, everything is going to burn someday. Don't hold onto things you aren't using. Give them to someone who might need and use them. Don't hoard. Remember that God is your provider. Hold onto things very loosely.

So no matter how much or how little money that you have or how big or small your home is now, make it a clean and organized home. This promotes peace in husband and children.  This is your job, ladies. Don't expect your husbands to do your work. You do your work with a cheerful and thankful attitude!

And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, 
as to the Lord, and not unto men. 

Colossians 3:23

Follow Always Learning's board Keepers At Home on Pinterest.

The Perversion Of Universities

This is a volatile subject!  People have VERY strong opinions about this topic as seen on the many comments on Girls Going To College.  It seems most disagree with me, but that is okay.  I am not God and I don't know everything.  I just write my own convictions.

Cassi went to Biola University her freshmen year.  Biola stands for Bible Institute Of Los Angeles.  It is a good university.  It is one of the handful of universities left that still teaches Truth.  She especially loved her Bible classes.  The professors were good teachers.

She went to a community college near home when she was nineteen years old.  It only cost $400 a semester which was much cheaper than Biola.  The first assignment given to her in her sociology class was a fifteen page study on gay bathroom sex.  She read the first half page full of explicit details and was disgusted.  She showed Ken and he told her that she wasn't going to read anymore and to email her teacher.  Her teacher told her she had to read it or it would affect her grade.  She dropped the class.

When I told a friend about this recently, she thought Cassi should have written a response to it showing the other side of the issue.  I told her that the Bible tells us not to even know what perversion happens behind closed doors.

For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Ephesians 5:12

To be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil.
Romans 16:9 

To dwell on the lovely, the pure, and the good.
Philippians 4:8

Several years later when she was twenty one years old and grounded in her faith, she went to the local university.  One class discussed gay sex in prisons. On gay pride day, several of her classes spent the whole class time discussing gay lifestyles.  I don't think there are many parents out there that pay big bucks for their children to learn this trash.

Dennis Prager believes higher education is the single most destructive thing in our society.  It has taken God completely out of the teaching and instead is teaching humanism and left wing ideology.  They teach the government is the answer to all our problems when the welfare state has destroyed families.  They teach that abortion and homosexuality are good things.

I know many of you think higher education is great.  If you can afford it without going into deep debt, if you don't mind left wing indoctrination or if you do and can find a good Bible teaching college or online college, then go for it.  I just want you to be wise.  Don't go blindly along with what society is doing.  It is the broad path that leads to destruction.

O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:  Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. 

I Timothy 6:20,21

Knit Together In Love

Love protects you!  The thing that is most important to God is that we love Him and love others.  The Bible states that we should be knit together in love {Colossians 2:2}  and  above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness {Colossians 2:13}.

The most common way we forget to love others is by having a critical attitude towards them.  Before you criticize anybody, STOP and remember what God has forgiven you for  ~ ALL trespasses! {Colossians 2:13}

It is so easy to judge and criticize others for their faults and bad habits. This can be extremely dangerous.  I have never used The Message Bible on this blog, because I think it waters down the Truth too much.  However, this interpretation of Matthew 7:1,2 was so funny and right on that I thought I would use it for this post.  It states ~

Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging {OUCH!}.

We reap what we sow.  We are to be known for loving others.  Criticizing and finding fault with others is far from loving them and far from the heart of God.  Put away critical spirits!  They are from the Devil.

So start obeying God and become knit together in love with your husband, children, in-laws, neighbors, bosses, Democrats, Republicans, and everyone else God puts in your path. 

Determine to not say or even think negative thoughts about others, including pastors or teachers!  Pray for them instead.  This is the way to really love others.  For his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart {Luke 6:45}.  Fill your heart with good, positive thoughts of others!

Ken and I are knit together in love now.  Oh, I can tell you that it is a precious thing to really love your husband.  I no longer think or say negative thoughts about him.  Our relationship is so enjoyable now.  I just love God's ways.

Clean Air Of Gospel Living

Doesn't that sound wonderful?  We need to be raising our children in the clean air of gospel living!  Rachel Jankovic came up with that phrase in her article entitled, "Motherhood is A Calling."  Here are a few of her comments ~

Live the gospel in the things that no one sees.  Your testimony  to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to your children than you can imagine...Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully.  Lay down pettiness.  Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.  Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross.

I believe that when children see the gospel being lived out faithfully and joyfully, they will want what you have and embrace it.  The gospel is clean air like a breath of fresh air in this dark and decaying society.

The gospel gives us hope, whereas society gives us doom and gloom.

The gospel gives life.  The society gives us death and destruction.

The gospel gives joy.  Society gives fear and anxiety.

The gospel keeps promises.  Society makes empty promises.

The gospel gives peace.  Society gives arguing, fighting, and dissension.

The gospel gives forgiveness.  Society gives bitterness and grudges with no forgiveness.

Cling to Jesus.  Cling to His promises.  Live His life out in front of your family.  Let them see how absolutely wonderful it is living for Him and that His ways are best.  Laugh and smile a lot.  Let them see the joy of the Lord living through you!

Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Ephesians 5:19,20

Scripture And A Snapshot

Sunday

Doctors Are Not God

There have been some comments on my health posts from people who say they are doctors and tell me how wrong I am to play my own doctor or give advice.  Many people have played their own doctor after using doctors for years and not getting better. 

Doctors haven't been able to heal a lot of diseases.  They told my mom she would never be healed of colitis, but guess what? She was healed! She did completely opposite of what the doctors told her to do. 

Doctors are great in emergency situations.  They saved my life when I had a brain tumor.  They got me out of extreme pain with a neck fusion.  I am forever grateful for their skill in helping me get better.  But they aren't so successful in chronic conditions like eczema, allergies, asthma, autoimmune diseases, etc.  They can usually help manage the symptoms, but not heal the patient.  Also, drugs have many harmful side effects. If drugs, radiation or surgery can't help a patient, they tell the patient that what they have is incurable.

This is why I have studied nutrition for so many years.  No, I am not a doctor and never claim to be one.  Doctors absolutely are to be respected and have their place in our society. But many people have healed themselves through alternative measures either through all raw foods, herbs, fasts, chiropractors, etc. 

I realize doctors still think vaccinations don't cause autism.  Unfortunately, there are many mothers out there who said that their children were fine before being vaccinated.  One must weigh all sides and prayerfully consider the actions they want concerning their health.  This is a free country and people should be able to do with their health whatever they think is best without the other side condemning them for their actions.

I encourage you to seek answers if a doctor tells you that what you have is incurable. Work on making your immune system as strong as possible.

I applied my heart to know, and to search, and to seek out wisdom, and the reason of things.

Ecclesiastes 7:25

My Cute Niece And Daughter

Alisa and I  shook hands before we were married and proudly proclaimed that we would both have four children.  Well, I was the only one who held my end of the deal. Thankfully,  I have Cassi.  She is my fourth.  We would have loved having more children, but it was not meant to be.

Alisa quit at three.  They felt that was enough.   Both of our daughters are not married yet.  {Sorry, boys, my daughter on the right is already married!} 

 They have busy, active lives.  Ali went to Bible school in Germany and then culinary school in Manhattan.  Cassi is working towards getting her teaching credential.

They both love Jesus.  They go to church and bible studies consistently.  They both live at home.  Ali cooks up a storm for her parents as often as possible.  Cassi bakes bread and yummy, healthy treats for us.   They are preparing to be very good help meets.

You would all love them.  They smile and laugh a lot.  They want manly men.  Men who will pay for their meals and work hard.  Men who won't mind if they stay home and raise babies.  Men who will protect them.

So if you have a godly son like that, just send me a picture with a resume and I will forward it to them...No, they would hate me for doing that! :) {Well, maybe they wouldn't...} They know God will send His perfect pick for them in His perfect timing and in His perfect will for their lives, because that is what they are seeking.  In the mean time, they are sure enjoying life.

The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 

I Corinthians 7:34

I Am Pro-Choice

Abortion always causes heated debates, because both sides feel so passionate about what they believe in.  I have decided I am pro-choice.  You have freedom of choice if you choose to have sex outside of marriage or if you choose to wait until you are married.  When you choose to have sex outside of marriage and a human being is being created because of that choice, I feel you should have no choice to destroy that human being.

Your freedom of choice comes only when and if you want to have sex.  The human being  growing inside your body as a result of that choice is another human being.  It is not your own body.

To bear a child and even put it up for adoption is a wonderful thing.  Many, many couples would want to adopt the baby.  If you choose to abort, most women suffer years of pain and guilt knowing full well that they allowed their baby to be killed.  Abortions have even been linked to increased rates of breast cancer.

Yes, God is a loving and forgiving God.  If you have had an abortion, He will forgive you, but that won't stop me from encouraging women who are pregnant now to have that precious baby.  You will not be sorry.  God allowed that baby to be conceived and is being created inside your womb.

My main encouragement to young women is to choose right now to wait to have sex until marriage.  Your virginity is a wonderful gift to give to your future husband someday.  You aren't an animal and you have the self-control to wait despite what society wants you to believe.  You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you!

Most young people want to be given boundaries ~  

They feel loved with boundaries. 

They want to be told they can live within those boundaries and they are for their protection. 

They want to know they can say "No" and wait until marriage when a man will love them enough to make a commitment to them before they give them their bodies. 

They need to be told they have value and are loved by an Almighty God who loves them dearly. 

They need to hear the freedom the Gospel provides. 

So go and tell them!  Tell them not to listen to the destructive lies that society is telling them.  God is our Creator and His ways are best.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place. 

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  

your eyes saw my unformed body. 

All the days ordained for me were written in your book 

before one of them came to be. 

Psalm 139:13-16

Delight In Your Husband!

We have mentored some unhappy couples. We've known many people who have gotten divorced. The sad thing is that most of these couples who are unhappy with each other and argue all the time or have gotten divorced are nice people. One-on-one with the wife is a wonderful time spent with her. She's a good woman. Talking with the husband, I can tell he is a good man, also.

What happens?  Why do two nice people end up fighting and getting divorced?

They stop learning to enjoy each other.  Life is short!  It is too short to make any body's life miserable.

Take my parents, for instance. They argued all the time when I was growing up. They are both nice people. Now they enjoy each other {better late than never}. The same goes for Ken and me. All four of us are all nice people. We just forgot to keep enjoying each other.

I write this blog, because I want more couples to enjoy each other and stay together. It only takes one person to stop arguing and start smiling. Why not it be you?

I am mentoring one young woman  She's only been married four years, but so regrets not knowing all that I am teaching her  a long time ago. I tell her it is better now than never. It is never too late to start enjoying your husband and having a better marriage.

Realize he isn't going to change. Stop letting little things that he does bother you. Start encouraging him. Lighten up and start having fun. Thank God for him every day! A thankful heart accomplishes much.

I believe most couples could have a good marriage as long as they aren't married to a truly evil man or woman. All it takes is a decision of the mind to start thinking good thoughts about the other person. Your actions flow out from your thoughts. Renew your mind with God's truth.

Set your mind on enjoying your husband. Don't get offended easily or hold grudges.  Make the decision to walk in love.Decide to be joyful and not argue anymore. Start serving each other. This is what being truly rich really looks like...

Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Philippians 2:2,3

The Marriage Killer

No, it is not adultery, surprisingly.  It is nagging!  Nagging slowly eats away the marriage, according to Elizabeth Bernstein from The Wall Street Journal.  It is typically the wife who is the one nagging. Even Scripture has verses specifically directed towards women:

A continual dropping in a very rainy day 
and a contentious woman are alike. 

Proverbs 27:15

It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, 
than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. 

Proverbs 25:24

The author said that nagging your husband makes him feel like a little boy being scolded by his mother. Wow! That statement sure puts it all in perspective and helps us understand why it is so dangerous to marriages.

So how can learn to stop nagging your husband?

By accepting him and loving him just the way that he is and not trying to change him.

By looking at all of his good qualities and dwelling on them.

By renewing your mind with God's truth.  Study the Bible.

By looking up all the verses of what a godly woman looks like.

By doing a word study on arguing, quarreling, and strife in the Bible.

By studying and meditating on all the verses about peace in the Bible.

By forgiving him and realizing that no one is perfect.

I KNOW you can accomplish this. I nagged Ken for 23 years. I have not nagged him at all the past eight years. So if you nag, admit it and start working on changing this ugly, destructive habit. With God all things are possible. Your husband will love it if you stop and it may even save your marriage!

Seek First His Kingdom

Whenever Ken and I mentor a couple, one of the first things we encourage them to do is to read a chapter of the Bible everyday together and pray.  His Word is living and active and changes you.  It is important to be in His Word daily to remind ourselves how we are to live and who we are in Christ.

We, as believers, should be content, happy, and peaceful witnesses to the greatness of God as we choose daily to walk in the Spirit. The way that we live our lives should attract others to Jesus.  When we love those around us and show them God's joy, they just may want what we have!

Joyless Christians don't do the work of God any good.  Who wants that?  If you aren't joyful, examine yourselves to make sure you are in the faith.  If you have hidden sins, confess them to someone you trust who will pray with you and hold you accountable.  Do everything in your power to walk closely with Jesus.

Join a good, Bible believing church.  Attend regularly even if you don't agree with everything taught 100%.  Get involved.  Walk up to people and be friendly instead of waiting for people to be friendly with you.  People are attracted to warm and friendly people.

Be committed to your church.  Love others in spite of their failings.  Be at peace with others.  Be the maintainer of peace!  If you have an issue with someone, go to them privately in love.

I love getting up first thing in the morning, reading a few devotionals, praying, and studying a chapter or two of the Bible.  I love meditating on verses.  I read the same verses everyday for a week so I really understand them and they go from my head to my heart.

I have a prayer list that I pray over every day.  If I tell someone I am going to pray for them, I put it on my list and pray for them.  God tells us we don't have because we don't ask, so ask in faith believing he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

Don't nag your husband to do this with you.  Ask him once.  If he doesn't want to do it, start praying that God will convict His heart about it.  Then leave it safely in God's hands.  He is mighty to do more than we can even ask or imagine.

What things so ever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. 

Mark 11:24

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Colossians 3:16