Sunday, March 18, 2012

Men's Sexual Nature

No, I am not an expert on this because I am not a man but I am married to one, I have two sons, and a father. I have read books about it, Ken and I talk openly about it, and Dennis Prager talks about it a lot on his male/female hour. He admitted that a man's sexual nature is a heavy burden for men that want to live good lives.

This is difficult for young women to hear. They want their husbands to only be attracted to them. Lindsay Harold described it perfectly: "It's kind of like you can see a really awesome looking dessert in the menu at a restaurant, but you're too full or it's too much money to get it, so you go home and eat dessert there later because looking at that menu made you hungry for something sweet. 

When men see a woman's beauty, in makes them hungry for sex. Not necessarily hungry for sex with her, just for sex in general. It reminds them of the beauty and satisfaction of marital intimacy. That's normal and there's nothing wrong with that.

The proper context for sex is between a husband and wife. So when a good man gets hungry for sex from seeing women out there in the world or just from thinking about sex, he comes to his wife to fulfill his desire in the proper context where it is pleasing to God, and also where it builds and strengthens his relationship with his wife. Every time he engages in marital intimacy with his wife, it strengthens his desire to be with her and not any other woman because she is the one who fulfills that desire for him. The desire for sex can crop up at any time for any number of reasons, but his wife is the one he desires to fulfill it with."

Understanding a man's sexual nature is important to understanding your man. Dennis Prager always says that if you married a man who is faithful to you, give him a lot of hugs, kisses, and thank him. It is most men's nature to want to have sex with a lot of different women. If they are godly men, however, or even men of integrity, they know that is not what they are suppose to do.

I have many friends who are upset because their man will glance at a beautiful woman walk by, not lust but glance. That is in their nature to do that. Dennis was saying that just because a man may get somewhat excited by a beautiful woman for ten seconds, he forgets about her ten seconds later. He married his wife, because he loves her and wants to be with her.

So just because your husband likes a lot of sex with you and enjoys glancing at beautiful women, doesn't make him a sex pervert. God created him to be attracted to women.  That doesn't mean he doesn't have to battle his sexual nature, learn to control it and not allow it to control him, but if we are married, we need to understand this battle and be sympathetic with them and not condemning.

We have our own battles. Most women battle their emotions. We must learn to control our emotions and not let them control us. Many of us battle with wanting to control and change our husbands. Don't allow this to happen.

So love on the husband the good Lord gave you. Satisfy his sexual need so he doesn't need to go roaming elsewhere. Let him be open with you about his sexual nature. It will cause him to feel closer to you when he feels you really know him and understand him. In this way, you can help him in this battle to be holy.

Finally, be all of one mind, having compassion one with another,
 love as brethren, be tender hearted, be courteous. 
I Peter 3:8