Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Purity Before Marriage

How far is too far before marriage?  This isn't an easy question to answer.  As a teenager, I always wondered what that "line" was and how far was too far.  I knew intercourse was way too far.  My mom taught us that sexual intercourse was only for married people.  But there is a lot you can do before intercourse!  I have heard that teenagers today don't even think that oral sex is sex!  That, my friends, is sex and it is way too far outside of marriage.

Sex is not just a physical thing.  It involves our emotions and it should involve our spiritual side also.  The Bible states that after marriage the two will become one flesh.  Sex can create another human being.  Amazing!  It is a powerful thing.  It is a wonderful and beautiful act created by God.  It is not something that should be taken lightly or loosely, like our society has taken it.

Sex outside of marriage causes so much grief...venereal diseases, unwanted pregnancies, emotional pain, etc.  It should definitely be reserved for marriage but what can a couple do before marriage?

Some parents won't let their children ever be alone when they are with a member of the opposite sex. We enforced this rule when they were in high school but as they grew into adults, we didn't. 

Until a couple is engaged, my opinion is that they need to be very careful.  Some holding hands and a little bit of kissing seems acceptable to me.  Some would disagree with me and say you should even save your first kiss until your wedding day.  Maybe, but we didn't teach our children that way.

Once you are engaged, I think you need to get married very soon!  Once you know you are going to be husband and wife, it is very difficult to stay pure.  Both of our children had a four month engagement, just enough time to plan a wedding. 

We talked openly to our children when they were growing up and then gave them the freedom to set their own boundaries when they were adults.   We trusted them {our two that are married} and we trust our two that are not married.  The Holy Spirit lives inside of them and they walk in wisdom.

I only wish I was taught more boundaries.  Given the "wait until marriage for intercourse"  is much too broad and leaves lots of room for doing more than you should do.  I wish I would have been taught to only date and kiss someone I thought I might marry.  Save yourself for your husband!  I could have absolutely saved my first kiss for Ken...

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.
I Thessalonians 4:3-5

P.S.  I had to use this picture of my grandbaby I took the other night.  Yes, I forgot to clean off her face, but isn't she just the cutest little thing!

 {pretty, happy, funny, real},