Is Emotional Purity Harmful?

Is teaching your children to be emotionally pure during their teenage years harmful?  According to this woman, she was very harmed through these teachings.  I can understand some of her arguments but I think a lot more teenagers are hurt from going from one relationship to another throughout their teenage years.

Having many relationships at a young age easily leads to sexual promiscuity.  The emotional purity teachings were to protect teenagers from this harm.  Maybe it went too far but I think it is much better than the alternative.

My generation was a unique generation.  My parent's generation didn't sleep around.  My mom went on many dates where the boys didn't even try to kiss her after a date.  None of them tried getting her in bed after a couple of dates.  Men respected women and most knew sex was reserved for marriage.

My generation came after the sexual revolution.  Our parents didn't know what was going on in my dating years.  Almost all the guys wanted to make out during the dates and expected long make out sessions at the end of the date.  My first date at sixteen years old ended with the guy almost getting in an accident driving me home because he was so angry I wouldn't have sex with him at the drive-in movie theater.

When I finally got a date with my dream boyfriend, he picked me up completely drunk and took me to a wild party.  He then took me to a bedroom and I asked him to take me home.

My parents never knew this.  They didn't know how different dating was for me as it had been for them.  Dating in my generation meant sleeping around.  I would have loved having boundaries that would have protected me.

So this young generation must understand where my generation is coming from when we began raising teenagers in regards to dating.  We didn't want our children to have to experience what we did.  We wanted to put boundaries around them that protected them.

Maybe we went too far.  I don't know.  I never taught my children emotional purity but I absolutely taught them sexual purity.  I didn't want them to date in high school, only in groups.  I didn't want them to be alone with members of the opposite sex when their hormones were raging and there was no way they could get married for several years.

When they were old enough to get married, we taught them to date only those they thought they could marry.  So far, it has worked out great for them.  One of them experienced a broken heart but lived through it and has a very healthy marriage.

I don't think there is any perfect formula except to teach them God's Word.  He teaches us to flee sexual sin and to keep the marriage bed pure.  He teaches us to honor our bodies and glorify Him with our bodies in everything we do.

Teach your children to love Him with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Teach them to pray for their future spouse and ask Him to direct them to that spouse that He has picked out for them.  Our children are made in God's image and have the ability to exercise self-control.  Their worth comes from who they are in Christ.  Make sure they know this amazing truth.

Ask God for wisdom as you raise your teenagers in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.  He will give you wisdom and it will be good.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge Him

and He shall direct your path.

Proverbs 3:4,5

Weekend Whatever

Having A Pity Party

Is wanting a potato so bad?  That is all I wanted.  After several days of excruciating pain and not hardly able to eat anything, I just wanted a potato, something soft and filling.  I asked my dad to stop by my favorite health food store and pick up some vegetable soup.

He brought me chicken noodle. No potatoes...I asked Cassi to buy me some potatoes.  The next day I went to put a potato in the oven and all the potatoes were green with brown spots all over them.  No potatoes...

The next day, she bought me some good potatoes and made a big pot of vegetable soup for me.  I couldn't wait to finally have some potatoes.  I went to get some soup and there was not ONE potato in the whole soup!!!  I almost lost it.  I did shed a few tears.  I wanted to text her, "Where are the potatoes???"  Make her feel bad, you know.  Then I remembered she put in all that effort to buy all the ingredients for me and cut up all the vegetables.

The day before, my dad was visiting me and gave me a foot massage and read some of My Utmost For His Highest to me as I sat with frozen peas on my head.  He read about self-pity being satanic.  I know that.  I rarely give into self-pity because I know it is evil.  It is telling God that He isn't doing a very good job being in control.

I remembered that as soon as I wanted to cry over no potatoes and days of being in pain.  I have already had a lot of pain in my life.  I have already had to miss many fun things in my life.  But then I renewed my mind with God's Truth.  He is in control and I must be content with what He is doing in my life.  So I decided I was going to be okay without potatoes.

Next time you want to have a pity party, remember that you have allowed Satan to have the victory.  I don't ever want him to have the victory in my life.  I always want God to have the victory no matter what is happening.  He deserves all my praise and all the glory.  This is not my home.  He is preparing a mansion for me.  This is just Grand Central Station and we are all either buying a ticket to heaven or to hell.

I bought my ticket to heaven a long time ago.  I have no reason to ever indulge in self-pity.  God is on His throne and I know how the story ends.  Amen.

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

Philippians 4:11

Faith Filled Friday

Benefit of Separate Vacations?

Iris Krasnow from her book The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share what it Really Takes to Stay Married she wrote, "The best marriage advice I now give, after receiving this advice from dozens of wives who have been married for up to 70 years while researching my book, is this: The happiest marriages are made up of two people who are engaged in separate passions, separate pursuits and who are wholly engaged in something beyond their partnership." 

She also extols the benefits of separate vacations, even separate summers! "Krasnow has spent the last eight summers (or at least a good chunk of those summers) several states away from her husband. 'I come home and I’m always hot to see him,' she confides."

She wrote this along with a lot of other terrible advice (make out with old boyfriends; get yourself a platonic boyfriend): "She points out that the vast majority of married women contemplate divorce 'if not once a month, at least every other month.'"

So this is the secret of a happy marriage: spend more time apart, pursue completely different activities, and ponder divorce frequently? This is the advice the world gives you to a happy marriage. What advice does the Bible give?

The Bible tells us we are to submit, obey, please, love, reverence, and serve our husbands until death do us part. The advice you are getting from the world is completely contrary to this, namely, only think about yourself and what makes you happy. "If seeking your own hobbies, goals, and vacations make you happy, go for it."

The big problem with this is that this attitude has infiltrated the church. Many churches have forgotten to preach about denying ourselves and giving ourselves away for the good of others. They fail to teach that Jesus' last act on earth was to wash the disciples' feet. He gave us this example so we would wash other's feet.

Are you washing your husband's feet? Are you making his life happy? As you learn to give your life away, serve others, and take your mind off of your own feelings and desires, the happier and more joyful you will become. Satan hides this from you but God tells us this plainly in His Word. Listen to the Lover of your soul instead of the Great Deceiver.

Go on vacations with your husband. Find things you enjoy doing together. Don't listen to the wisdom of the world. It is foolishness and will not lead to a strong, healthy marriage. I can tell you one thing, I sure have no intention of vacationing all summer without my husband! Neither of us would be happy doing this. We love and enjoy each other too much and would miss each other terribly.

Let your fountain be blessed, 
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18

Loosely Held Plans

At 2:30 a.m. on a Wednesday morning a week a and half ago, I felt like an explosion took place on the right side of my face wrapping around my eye, jaw, and the back of my head.  Thus began nine days of throbbing, excruciating pain.  A major nerve that wraps around my head became inflamed.  I even lost the use of my right eye.  Yes, ice and Advil became my best friends.

Several days later, I was suppose to have a graduation party for my precious daughter Cassi who just finished a semester carrying 30 units, yes, 30 units and graduated from college.  Cancelled.

My dream ministry job was starting that next Sunday at church.  I was asked to be one of three women who pray over and match mentors with mentees.  I was suppose to go to the kick off meeting and listen to all 40 women give a three minute talk about their lives and the next morning, match them all up.  I was going to be given several mentees who wanted help in their marriages.  I was SO excited...Cancelled.

My mom and dad had a big celebration luncheon for their 60 year wedding anniversary at the same location that Alyssa and Jon were married.  Fresh salmon was on the menu and the whole family and some of my parent's closest friends were going...I couldn't go.

I have learned that my plans have to be held very loosely.  The first 40 hours of my pain when I could hardly even sip water or talk, the verse that kept going through my head was ~

We know ALL things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purposes.

Romans 8:28

I love God and I am called according to His purposes so I knew that what I was going through was going to work out for good.  I kept renewing my mind with God's wonderful Truth and was given hope.

Yes, I had to miss out on some wonderful things but I know Who is in control and I trust Him.  I know He loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life.  So far it has involved a lot of pain but I know He is good and will use it for good.

There is no better thing in life than living for Him.  This life is short.  We must live with our plans open wide to Him knowing that His ways are best, even the hard and trying times.  Trust Him.

Domestically Divine, Teach Me Tuesday, Women In The Word, Imperfect Prose, Hearts 4 Home

A Simple Happy Marriage

Do you think marriage is suppose to be difficult?  If you listen to society, even the church, you would think that it is definitely suppose to be hard.  Divorce is rampant.  Most marriages don't seem to be happy.  So yes, marriage is suppose to be hard, right?  Mine sure was for 23 years.

I don't think it is...We have proved that.  Marriage has been simple for us the past eight years.  We are called to become one flesh.  So the most important thing is to make sure you marry a strong believer with deep roots in Jesus.  Next, get some good marriage mentoring.  Learn how to do it right, right from the start.

Ryan and Erin and Jon and Alyssa did it right.  They prayed for their spouse.  They wanted God to choose their spouse for them.  They wanted a spouse with deep roots in Jesus and a strong biblical foundation.  They learned that wives weren't suppose to nag, complain, and try to manipulate their husbands.  They knew the husbands should be the leaders of the home and love their wives.

Ryan and Erin have been married over two years.  Erin got pregnant on their honeymoon.  She spent nine months not feeling that good.  Life with an infant isn't easy.  They moved several times.  Ryan is trying to get his business off the ground.  But they are very happy together. They enjoy each other.  They still are very much in love.

Jon and Alyssa have been married over a year.  They moved to a different city, had to find a new church and start a new job.  They had to make new friends.  They are still crazy about each other. 

Neither of these couples fight or argue.  They live at peace with each other and try making the other one happy.  They are affectionate with one another and are happy to be together. {No, life is not perfect, but it is good, very good.}

Marriage should not be hard.  If you are married to a difficult man, I have a challenge for you.  For one month, try not arguing or nagging him at all.  Try being cheerful and warm towards him.  Try pleasing him and finding out what makes him happy.  Try not thinking one negative thought about him or saying one negative word to him. 

Your marriage may not be great after a month, but I bet it will be a lot better!  Women have a lot of power in marriages.  I have seen it over and over again.  Some women get upset with me and tell me I blame the women.  No, men aren't perfect but I do believe women usually wield more power in a marriage.  Even the Bible agrees with me ~

Every wise woman builds her house:
but the foolish plucks it down with her hands.

Proverbs 14:1

How would you describe your marriage?  Simple or difficult???


 Welcome Wednesday, Proverbs 31, Inspiration Friday
 Word Filled Wednesday, What I'm Loving Wednesday, Favorite Things

Keep No Secrets

Many people carry deep, dark secrets in their life.  It causes sickness, depression, guilt, and pain. 

Maybe they had an abortion when they were young and no one knows about it. 

Maybe they are addicted to pornography and won't tell anyone. 

Maybe they are a glutton and gorge themselves in secret. 

Maybe they are addicted to gambling and keep finding ways to hide the losses. 

Secrets breed in darkness.  Secrets can eat you alive.  Exposing them to the light brings healing.  Confessing them to someone you trust helps to rid yourself of the guilt and pain.  The Bible says ~

Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. 

James 5:16

Yes, the moment you repent and believe in Jesus Christ, you are forgiven for all your sins ~ past, present, and future but God wants us to use other people and their prayers to help us overcome the sin and secrets in our lives.  This keeps us accountable.  It keeps us from walking the path alone. 

We have the Holy Spirit as our Counselor, the Word as our guide, and God's people to help us along in this journey called life.  We have everything we need for life and godliness.

Don't keep secrets, especially from your spouse.  Lay everything bare and let the healing begin.   The truth does set us free and walking in the Spirit and freedom is a wonderful place to walk!

Here It On Sunday, Playdates With God

The Huge Benefit of Sanitation!

As many of you know, we did not immunize our children.  My grandmother had seven children and refused to put that "poison" {as she called it} into her children's bodies.  Ken and I researched everything we could find on the topic before making our decision.  The thing that convinced us the most was the following ~

It is well documented that the increase in lifespan in Americans over the past 200 years is not at all from modern medicine but from better sanitation practices (sewage not being dumped in the streets) and from better, cleaner water quality. {Dr. Richard Schulz}

  We believed a healthy body was the key to having great health, not medicine.  Medicine is great in emergency situations, but not for keeping you healthy.  Have you listened to those drug commercials lately?  The side effects go on and on and are very scary.

Lots of sunshine, fresh air, organic food the way God created it, and exercise creates health not drugs.  My dad almost died from taking an antibiotic.  The body can fight almost any infection if it is healthy.  It does a much better job than drugs do.

Dr. Schulz has seen many people cured from diseases that doctors gave them no hope of curing.  He puts them on juices and cleanses.  When you are very sick, you need to be very extreme in getting healthy.  Once you are healthy, you don't have to be so careful and can cheat a little. 

Our society suffers from disease of wealth, not poverty.  Heart disease, cancer, diabetes, arthritis, autoimmune diseases, etc. are  usually diseases from overeating and eating the wrong kinds of food.  We are killing ourselves with our forks, not lack of clean water and sanitation.

So praise God every time you can flush a toilet or get into a nice bath with clean water.  These are the small things that we take for granted but are the main reason we don't get the diseases of the past.  We are living in the richest nation in the history of the world.  Start being thankful for everything including amazing bodies that heal themselves and a medical community that helps us in times of true crisis.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: 
marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalm 139:14

Chances To Witness

My good friend {and adopted sister :)}, Carol, brings Jesus' love wherever she goes.  She was telling us the other day at my sister's luncheon that she frequents this place where she knows a young man who is of the world and living a worldly life style. 

Last time she went to this place, he asked her to tell him one of her stories.  She is a great story teller.  She tells stories of things that have happened in her life. 

She told him of this young woman who has terminal cancer.  She lost family members and was in deep pain.  She was only given three months to live.  She asked Carol how to find peace in the midst of so much pain.

The man then asked Carol to tell him everything she told this woman.  Carol asked him, "Are you sure you want to hear it all?"  He said, "Yes.  I want to hear it all."  So she told him all about Jesus. 

She told him of His love for people.  He paid the penalty for all their sins.  They can walk in newness of life now with no fear or condemnation.  All that was required of them was to accept Jesus' death on the cross as forgiveness for all the wrong choices in their life, and then desire to let Him be in charge of their life from now on.  She also shared the wonderful promise of heaven where there would be no more chemo, pain or sadness.

When she was done, he said, "Someday I am going to do that."  Carol couldn't believe it.  Well, yes she can.  She knows and has seen the power of the gospel over and over again.

I was getting my hair done recently.  My hairstylist is an amazing woman.  She is always kind and friendly.  She isn't a believer and has very liberal views. 

We were talking about health care and she thinks if the government takes it over, it will be perfect.  I told her that government doesn't run a lot of things very good like education.  She said that her father-in-law gets his social security check on time.  She said the government does that well.  I wanted to reply, "Yes, the government is great at taking money away from some and giving it to others. Besides, social security is almost bankrupt" but I bit my tongue.  I decided this isn't what I should be discussing with her. 

It could easily turn into an argument and the last thing I want to do is argue about something that has no eternal significance.  Her seeing Jesus and coming to know Him should be the only thing I care about,  not whether she believes politically like I do.  I want to be like Carol.  I want to shine His light wherever I go.  That is all that matters.  Everything else in life is going to burn.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,

and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead,

 thou shalt be saved.

Romans 10:9

Cleaning The Bathroom

She was raised in a Christian home and went to church all of her growing up years.  A tragedy happened when she was a teenager, so she walked away from the Lord until she was 23 years old.  I mentored her recently, because she has had so many friends get divorced. She doesn't want her marriage to end in divorce.

I brought up the subject of submission.  She replied, "Well, it doesn't mean what I was taught it meant when I was growing up.  Like if your husband told you to clean the bathroom, you had to clean the bathroom."

I told her that was exactly what it meant.  If your boss asked you to clean the bathroom, you would obey.  If you asked your child to clean the bathroom, hopefully, you have trained them to obey. 

We hate anyone telling us what to do.  THAT is the bottom line.  We want to do things our way.  That is why most people don't want to believe in God.  They want to do things their way and not be held accountable to anyone.

God's systems work.  Sure, it isn't fun being told what to do, but we take it from our parents, our bosses, the government, etc. Why should it be any different with our husbands, since they are our head?

If he asks you to clean the bathroom and instead of arguing with him or telling him, "You clean it yourself,"  you should cheerfully say, "Sure."  Then you go clean the bathroom as best as you can, thankful you have a bathroom to clean.

Jesus asks us to be servants of all.  If we can't humbly serve the person that we are one flesh with and whom we are called to love until death through sickness and in health, who can we serve?

So next time your husband asks you to do something, do it willingly, and see how much that simple act of obedience can change your marriage.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
 ^"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8,9

French Parenting

This article claims that French parents are superior to American parents.  The main reason the author believes this to be true is due to the fact that French parents don't allow their lives to revolve around their children's lives.  Their children understand that "no" means "no" and they must learn self-control at an early age.

They allow their children to cry themselves to sleep when they are very young, so they will sleep through the night.

They don't allow them to snack in between meals, except for one afternoon snack, so at meal time they are hungry and eat without causing trouble.

The children are taught early to entertain themselves and not always expect the parents to entertain them.

When the parents are talking to others, the children aren't allowed to interrupt.

These all sound like great things to me.  The earlier a child learns that the world doesn't revolve around them and learns self-control, the more every one will enjoy them. 

They learn to become good sleepers.  They learn to control their appetite.  They learn to not expect to be entertained constantly. They learn to respect others.

Children need boundaries.  Growing up to be disciplined adults make life a whole lot easier on them.

I encourage you to raise responsible, self-controlled, and unselfish adults.  The world needs more people like that.  These are very good character qualities.  Maybe, we can learn some things from the French!

In your faith supply virtue; and in your virtue knowledge; and in your knowledge self-control; and in your self-control patience; and in your patience godliness; and in your godliness brotherly kindness; and in your brotherly kindness love.  For if these things are yours and abound, they make you to be not idle nor unfruitful unto the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

II Peter 1:5-8

Making Him Eat Healthier

This was our biggest area of disagreement.  All he wanted to eat was doughnuts and pizza.  I was raised on organic, healthy food.  I thought by being angry and manipulative with him, he would start eating better.  I justified my anger because I wanted him to be healthy.  He was killing himself by the way he ate.

It didn't work too well.  He would hide his junk food and not tell me what he ate at work.  When we would go out to eat, I would ruin the dinner if he ordered something I didn't like.  {This is hard to type...Some of you have told me I am too hard on myself.  I want to be honest with my faults in hopes of sparing many of you from making the same stupid mistakes I made.}

He started having health problems and started eating better.  He eats pretty healthy now.  He has my salad, a big one, every day.  He studies health now and tells other people about eating healthy.

One of the young woman I mentor is really getting into homemaking.  She's making kefir, salad, homemade salad dressing, roasted chicken, and even my homemade bread.  Her husband wouldn't eat any of it.  He only likes Mexican food.

I went to mentor her one day.  She told me to look at her table.  On it were some bottles of medicine.  She told me he has very high cholesterol and a bacteria in his body.  He studied what he needs to do to get his cholesterol down and he found it was all the foods she has been making!  Doesn't God have a great sense of humor!

We can't change our husbands...Let me say that again.  We CAN'T change our husbands.  We sure wouldn't want someone trying to change us.  Just eat as healthy as you can.  Fix food he wants and pray.  Let the Lord convict him about his eating habits {or maybe health problems will} but don't you preach at him.  It's very bad on a marriage.

Love..does not behave badly, seeks not her own.

I Corinthians 13

My Happy Pastor

My pastor is one happy guy.  My church is big.  We have four services and they are all pretty packed out.  With a church that big, you would think you would hardly ever see the pastor.  Not at our church.

Before each service, he is either roaming around the church, inside and out, chatting with people.  He usually shakes their hand, gives them a hug, and smiles a lot.  We have run into him when we walk along the beach.  He is always warm and friendly.

The love he has for people spills over to the whole church.  The first time I visited this church, I knew it was different.  People were warm and friendly.

Ken and I went to a night service recently.  We saw our pastor talking with his parents.  I have never seen his parents before.  They are old.  His mother is stooped over pretty badly.  They are in their late 80s or early 90s,  I think. 

When our pastor saw us, he gave us a big smile and waved at us.  His mother turned around and gave us the biggest smile!  She kept looking at us smiling real big.  Ken asked me if I knew her.  I told him I had never even seen her before.  She is one happy lady!

Erin took them over dinner a few months back.  The mother had broken her hip.  She said the father was such a warm and friendly man.

Happy parents raise happy children!  Happy people are really fun to be around.  Happiness is contagious.  Choose to be happy.  Life is a lot more fun when you choose to be happy even when it isn't always easy.  We have a lot to be happy about.  Dwell on all those things!

Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD. 

Psalm 144:15

Sugar Is Destroying Health

Yep, I was right!;)  Ken sent me an email about this very topic and told me I was right all along.  Steven grew up thinking eating sugar was a sin.  Well, it just well may be close to sinning...{not really}.  It just isn't good for you.

On 60 Minutes, they had a program called Sugar ~ A Toxin.  Dr. Robert Lustig who is an pediatric endocrinologist has found out through in depth research that sugar is the main culprit in obesity, Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, strokes, cancer, and heart disease.

When people started eating low fat to prevent all these diseases, all these diseases sky-rocketed because we replaced fat with sugar.  It turns out that our body needs healthy fats and doesn't need sugar.  He believes that we have a public health crisis in America.

Most Americans eat 130 pounds of sugar a year.  He explained that sugar spikes your insulin which causes many adverse affects in the body.  He even found that it is as addictive as cocaine.  It affects the same part of your brain that cocaine affects.

Never before in human history have we seen "adult onset" or Type 2 diabetes in children. There has been a more than 1,000 percent increase in Type 2 diabetes in children over the last two decades. (1) Fifteen years ago 3 percent of new cases of diabetes in children were Type 2 diabetes. Now it is 50 percent. (2) Forty percent of children are now overweight and 2 million are morbidly obese, exceeding the 99th percentile for weight.

Huffington Post

Try giving up sugar for several weeks and see if you don't have more energy and sleep better.   If is is truly a toxin in your body, you should be eating very little of it.  Eat real food, the way God created it to be.  You will feel so much better and our health care system will thank you.

What? know you not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have of God, and you are not your own?

I Corinthians 6:19

Live Intentionally

Make it your goal to make your marriage heaven on earth for your husband.  The people we will influence the most on this earth is our family.  We need to be doing everything we can to influence them for good.

They should be the ones who see you smile the most.  They should be the ones you are the most patient and gentle with.  The "real" you is who you are before your spouse and children.  You need to deal with who you are and allow God's Spirit to work powerfully in you to make you more like Jesus.

Many people excuse the behavior they use at home on the other family members or their hormones.  They need to confess that and start working on loving those people God has put into their families.  Make your whole family's life heaven on earth. 

Don't have unrealistic expectations of your spouse and children.  Love them the way that they are and let them know it.  Be warm and affectionate with them.  Be at peace with them.  Someone has to stop the vicious cycle of quarrelling and strife, why not you be the one who starts stopping it?

Have no regrets if your husband or children should die early.  Choose your words carefully, because you can never take them back.  If you get upset with one of them, tell the Lord instead and see them through the eyes of Jesus.  Be an encourager, not a discourager.

Go to the cross often and remember what He has set you free from.  The greatest freedom is to forgive others.  We must walk as Jesus walked.  We must be salt and light, especially to our own family

We only have one life to live.  Live it intentionally, moment by moment.  Want to be 100% His!  Put your act together with the Lord and put His Word in every detail of your life.  Wrong decisions and choices lead to lifelong regrets.  Control your emotions.

Let the Word of God dwell in you richly and love others.  Make heaven on earth for your family.  May God bless you abundantly as you seek to follow Him.

Most of these ideas were taken from Kathleen Hart when she spoke to us at church one day.  She was a little old lady with a heart of gold and words of wisdom.  I want to be like her when I grow up.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. 

Psalm 19:14

Roses For The Ex-Wife

He asked if he should send roses to his ex-wife for Mother's Day.  Dennis Prager said that he saw no problem with that since it would be honoring the wife of his children.  Then Dennis asked why they got divorced.  I quickly blurted out to Ken, "She wasn't happy!"  The man then told Dennis, "I was happy and she was not.  I couldn't make her happy no matter how hard I tried."  Bingo!

Dennis then said this made him so sad.  One self could only make one self happy.  I thought, "No, only Jesus can make us happy."  As I thought about it, however, I changed my mind.  There are a lot of unhappy Christian who love Jesus and happy unbelievers who don't love Jesus.  It really is a choice.

So many women marry thinking their husbands should make them happy.  They want to be nurtured and cherished.  They want their husbands to understand their moods and sympathize with them.  They want them to be romantic and gentle.  I know.  I speak from experience.

Then we go about it completely the wrong way.  We pout, manipulate, get angry, and try to change them and make them love us.  We are called to love unconditionally and work on changing ourselves by being transformed through the renewing of our mind with God's truth.  I have found that the one most unhappy in the marriage is usually the one who has the ability to change it the most which, in my experience, has always been the wife.

Doing things God's way and obeying Him when He commands us to Rejoice always, again I say rejoice and learning to be content is when we find we are truly happy.  Manipulating, controlling, and pouting to try and get our way will only bring pain and unhappiness.

Oh, how I wish I could mentor this man's wife.  There are so many women I would love to mentor and teach them the ways of God and what pleasant paths His ways are for them.  She cared more for her happiness than the happiness of her husband or her children.  In turn, she made them all unhappy.

Divorce isn't the answer.  Pouring love upon others even when they seem to be unlovable is the answer.  Love covers over a multitudes of sin.

He that handles a matter wisely shall find good: 

and whoso trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

Proverbs 16:20

Affording Lots Of Children

If you listen to society, you will think that you can only afford one or two children at most.  It costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise children today.  We must be wise stewards of this planet and have few children. Who are you going to listen to, society or God?

  These are not valid arguments if you are a believer and you trust in God's provision. When the Israelites were under bondage, they were having a ton of children and God provided their escape from Egypt. God takes care of His children.

I have been reading through  journals of a woman with ten children. They live on a farm in Illinois with very little material wealth but they are so happy. God has abundantly supplied all of their needs, not all of their wants.

People expect so much today; cell phones, flat screen televisions, a car for every driver in the home, Internet, etc. These are not needs. Most people, however, are unwilling to sacrifice their wants for children. Their wants are more important than producing godly offspring.

In fact, many Americans are killing their offspring because it isn't the right time for a baby.  God's judgment on nations in the past was infertility. I think this may be a cause of the rising rates of infertility in our nation. God punishes disobedience. He is a just God.

Children are the only thing that lasts for eternity.  Everything else that you are working so hard to buy is going to end up in a garbage dump and burn. Children are flesh and blood with the ability to hug you and make you laugh.  Treasure your children.  Trust God to provide for you.  Live simply, frugally, and responsibly.  God will bless you.

Andrea has written a great post about this topic. She had a tubal ligation after her fourth baby.  She became very sick due to the tubal ligation and was told she needed to have it reversed.  She did and was pregnant several months later. She is now expecting her seventh baby and lives a simple, happy lifestyle. She is a wise, godly woman who God is blessing with many children despite what society is telling her. She trusts God. 

Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?  For the Gentiles wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all.

Matthew 6:31,32

Wives Must FEEL Loved?

The command to husbands to love their wives has been transformed into a command that he make his wife feel loved. This subtle transformation turns a straightforward biblical command into a Sisyphean {endless and unavailing} task. After all, the wife herself is the only one who can pronounce whether she feels sufficiently loved.

Additionally only she can define the very meaning of the word love in this context. As a result, Christian husbands are now held hostage to the emotions of their wives. They must forever jump through whatever hoops their wives hold up in an impossible effort to gain her approval.

For example, if he watches a football game instead of doing what she wants him to do he isn’t making her feel sufficiently loved and is in violation of the biblical command. There is no escape from this rule once you accept the subtle change, as logically only she can tell us how she feels. {Dalrock}

In other words, women have become the leaders of the home.  Where men battle their sexual nature, women battle their emotional nature.  Women think that men's sexual nature is a far worse sin than their emotional nature.  One can easily see the man's sin {lust, pornography, adultery, etc.}, whereas the wife's sin is much more difficult to see yet can be every bit as destructive.

Out in public, the wife can act warm, sweet, and friendly to every one around her but at home, she just may be holding her husband hostage using her emotional nature to take control of the home.  {If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy.}  I know I sure used it to control Ken but nobody except him knew it.

It's real ugly.  Since women are much more into their emotions and feelings, if we aren't feeling loved the way we want to be loved, we can use it in all sorts of ways to make our husband's lives miserable. 

We can deny them sex. 

We can pout and stew if they aren't doing things our way. 

We can roll our eyes and show them disrespect in all kinds of ways. 

We can use it to manipulate, control them, and criticize them.

Women using their emotional natures to rule over men in this way is destroying marriages.  It is also being used to take away the headship and authority of husbands.

Start using your emotional nature to love and cherish your husband.  Use it to make him feel valued and cared for by allowing him to be the leader.  Stop using it to get your way.  The word that describes wanting your own way is selfishness and selfishness should have no part of our lives.

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ,

the head of a wife is her husband,

and the head of Christ is God.        

I Corinthians 11:13

Titus 2sday, Domestically Divine, Women Living Well

Are You Storing Up Gold And Silver?

Many people are scrambling to store up gold and silver for the

upcoming economic meltdown. 

Radical Homemakers {the book} has another idea ~

The greater our domestic skills, be they to plant a garden, grow tomatoes on an apartment balcony, mend a shirt, repair an appliance, provide for our own entertainment, cook and preserve a local harvest or care for our children and loved ones, the less dependent we are on the gold.

You can't eat gold. Who knows if it will be worth anything if the economy crashes. Getting back to the land seems to be a much smarter way to prepare for an unstable future to me.

The more homemakers are able to do for themselves - whether it be cooking, preserving or growing food, mending clothing or purchasing it used, fixing cars and appliances to avoid replacing them, cleaning with vinegar and water rather than toxic chemicals, or making rather than buying gifts and toys - the less time they exchange for money, the fewer natural resources they require from the planet, and the less they rely upon the global extractive economy.

I have always had a desire to get back to the land. Most of the plants I have in my small yard produce food. I would love to own chickens and have fresh eggs every day. I love fresh tomatoes off of the vine. My citrus trees provide me with Meyer lemons and oranges. I get plums, peaches, and nectarines in the summer. I also have Anna apple trees that produces wonderful apples. 

I have a ton of strawberry plants, oregano, peppermint, bay leaf, and Swiss chard plants.  The fruit you see in the picture is what I picked from my yard this morning. Ken will have it for breakfast. There is a big fig tree along with Ken's favorite guava tree outside my living room window. We have a small grassy area that a cow would love! ;)

As you can see, we have quite a few food producing plants in our little yard. However, since I have such a bad neck, I am unable to garden at all. I am okay with that. I still know God will provide. I love having plants in my yard that produce food instead of just ornamental plants.

I hang all my clothes in my back yard to dry. We get westerly breezes from the ocean every day so my clothes dry real fast. I am a back-to-the-land type of girl! I like living close to the land and as close to the way God intended us to live. I love being a keeper at home.

Radical Homemakers also states ~

The most dangerous of team efforts between home economists and corporate America - the destruction of the American palate and the rise of the industrialized food system.  With our palates destroyed and our homemakers now divorced from the food production process, Americans know nothing about their food.

I never wanted this to happen to me.  I want to be wise about the way I live my life.  I love learning from other wise people.  You should also.  Your health and well-being may depend upon it.

Genuine, enduring wealth is not found in a stock portfolio or in gold bullion.  It comes from the ability to access those things in life that keep us happy and healthy - fresh air, rich soil, clean water, sustained friendships, healthy relationships and time to rest and play.  {And I might add, the most important thing of all, loving and knowing Jesus.}

He who tills his land shall be satisfied with bread,
 but he who follows worthless pursuits is 
lacking in sense and is without understanding.
Proverbs 12:11

My Mom Loves My Dad

Yes, she truly loves him.  I am going to tell you about their relationship as a lesson to all of you.  They have not had a happy marriage.  My mom was never mentored by an older woman how to love her husband.  I wasn't either.  I kind of blame the church for dropping the ball on that one.  There just aren't many older women out there teaching younger women how to love their husbands.

My dad was a doctor and worked really hard.  He was an only child and she was one of seven.  When I was just born, my dad moved her away from her family to California for his job.  He was hardly ever home.  When he was home, they would argue.

My dad attended church faithfully and read us Bible stories.  He loved Jesus.  They will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary in June.  My mom reads my blog every day.  She now says she tries very hard to never be mad at my dad.

She really loves him now.  She only speaks good of him.  She realizes how hard he works, even now at the ripe old age of 81.  He has always been faithful to her.  She tells me how sweet he is and how he scratches her back and cuddles with her every night.

She is so sad it took her this long to realize all the wonderful qualities that he possesses.  She wishes someone had told her long time ago that she shouldn't argue with him or be mad at him all the time.  She regrets ever thinking and speaking negatively about him.

See, it is never too late to have a great marriage.  They love going out to eat together and spending time together.  Don't wait until you are old and gray to love your husband.  Love him now.  My mom is very teachable and has always wanted to please the Lord.  She never realized that her behavior was wrong until she was taught.

She has been an incredible mother. All her grandchildren adore her.  She is fun and generous.  She loves everyone and everyone loves her.  She has always been my best friend.  She has helped me raise my children and been with me through all my health trials.  I love her so much and am so happy that she is enjoying her final years happily married to my dad.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her. 

Proverbs 31:29