This is the BEST book my husband has never read! It radically changed my life and marriage and it does the same for most of the women I have given it to in the past eight years, more than any other book on marriage.
This is why I want to defend this book. The Pearls don't need me to defend them because God is their defender, however, I want to give my puny voice to their defense anyways.
Many Christians call it a "dangerous book" and slander the Pearls, making false accusations against them. One woman wrote a long article on her blog saying how terrible the book was and that Debi counsels women to stay with abusive husbands. I wrote her back and asked her to show me where Debi writes that in her book.
She gave a story from the book about a husband that abused his wife. Debi counseled her to either stay with him and win him without a word OR pack her bags and leave. Debi thought she would leave but the woman stayed with him and ended up winning him without a word.
Debi used an extreme true-to-life story to encourage us that if this woman, with an abusive husband, could win her husband, maybe many of us with good husbands could win them without a word.
But on page 79, Debi states: "Of course, there are a few men who are so cruel and violent that even when the wife is a proper help meet, he will still physically abuse her or the children. In such cases, it would be the duty of the wife to alert the authorities so that they might become the arm of the Lord to do justice."
Another criticism thrown against them is that Debi is dogmatic and harsh. She is blunt, but I like that. I needed that and I think a lot of women do. I felt like she spanked me and it worked. I am mentoring two women and they both get offended at some of the things Debi writes and it is difficult to read at times but they love it...It is changing their marriage. We don't need our ears tickled anymore...We need truth. This is why I love her book and the Pearl's teachings.
They also wrote a book many years ago called To Train Up A Child. We read it a few years ago and decided we had raised our children exactly as they instruct in their book. All four of our children are walking with Jesus.
People say that they promote child abuse. They don't. They just want children to be raised to be disciplined, obedient to authority, hard-working, and good citizens. Seems like we could use a lot more of that.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober , to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.