Saturday, April 30, 2011

Expectations Kill Relationships


Do not expect your husband to live up to all your expectations.  Instead, give your expectations to God.  This will cause you to be grateful for anything {and everything} he does.  Expectations can destroy your relationship!
{Profile of a Godly Woman by Ray Powell}

When I got married, I had a lot of expectations from Ken ~ 

I expected him to be romantic with me A LOT. 

I expected him to:  help me clean the house, put the toilet seat down, say wonderful things about me all the time, eat healthy, clean up his mess, not watch much television, read the Bible and pray with me everyday, let me be right after every argument, chase me when I was mad at him and apologize to me. {Yeah...I was pretty bad!}  

Others would tell me that he wasn't a very good husband, because he didn't help with the babies much and help me clean the house.  Then I would get really mad at him hoping that would change him into the husband I wanted him to be.  {Even though he was busting his buns going to school, working full-time, and traveling to provide for us.} 

How I wish I didn't place all those expectations on him and loved him for ~ 

working so hard, being faithful and kind, loving me, being a wonderful father, letting me spend pretty much what I wanted on all my organic food, not trying to change me, listening to me and always giving me wise advice, being a man of integrity, honesty, and generosity. 

Now, I see clearly all his wonderful traits and don't even notice his faults.  Maybe that is because he is perfect now! ;)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
I Corinthians 13:4,5

Alphabe-Thursday

Comments (18)

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Sounds like you've found your soul mate!
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
I have but it took far too long to figure it out, unfortunately. Lots of wasted years but at least we are having fun now. It is never too late.
You are welcome, Esther. We all need reminders!
I am so proud of my sons because in marriage they truly work as a team mate to their wives. No task is beneath them, and they are willing to do whatever is best to make the workload fair. My husband and I have always divided up the housework equally. Then when we are finished for the day, we can relax and be together.
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
Sounds like you raised some great sons, Judie!
Many relationships are made more difficult by pre-conceived notions of what they should be.
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
Yes, I think that is why so many marriages aren't working.
Great post! Happy that you two are so happy now!
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
Better late than never!
Mutual acceptance is so important in a marriage.

It is also fertile ground for both of you to become more than you were going in.

=)
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
A wonderful way to put it, Sue!
Isn't love wonderful!
1 reply · active 673 weeks ago
Lori, I am very proud of my sons. I taught them to take care of themselves AND others at an early age. We all have to live on this earth together, and do the best that we can. That is what I have always tried to teach my sons. The more we work together as a family unit, the better our children learn about respecting one another for the wonderful human beings that they are. Everyone's job is equal in importance, because without each other, our lives have little meaning.
Celebrating my 28th wedding anniversary today I can relate to the perfection we expect early in our marriages. I am happy to see everything is great for you and Ken! It s nice ot have someone to share life with! Thanks for the lovely post!
wonderful post
Lori! This was wonderful! I've been thinking about this lately...I think it's part of getting older for me...but I don't expect perfection...

I've lowered my expectations and as a result I am much more content...

...and much more able to see the good around me instead of focusing on something that is impossible!

Thanks for an xcellent post...

I always enjoy your insights.

A+

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