One of the founders of the modern day Feminist Movement and I have found some common ground. Betty Friedan wrote in her last book, The Second Stage, “I sense the exhilaration of 'superwomen' giving way to a tiredness, a certain brittle disappointment, a disillusionment with 'assertiveness training' and the rewards of power. The equality we fought for isn't livable, isn't workable, isn't comfortable, in terms that structured our battle.”
No, Betty Friedan
did not convert to Christianity or have an “ah ha” moment walking away from
feminism. Instead, she saw a feminist movement that had gone too far in not
simply trying to seek equality for women, but in trying to make women like
men: "What price women's equality, its beneficiaries, are
trying to beat men at their own old power games, and taking their strenuous
climb onto and up the corporate ladder, falling into the traps men are
beginning to escape, forgoing life's satisfactions basic for men and women, and
shortening their own lives.”
To Friedan, the first stage of feminism had won. Great strides were made in women’s equality both socially and in the workplace. But now her call was to stem the excesses of the movement, based in large part from the many disillusioned women she was hearing from regularly. “I hear such sullenness from some younger women who are now living their person hood as women as if this somehow excludes all those emotions, capacities, needs that have to do with having babies, mothering children, making a home, loving and being loved, dependence and independence, softness and hardness, strength and weakness, in the family.”
Friedan is
making my case for a full and free choice for women to stay at home and enjoy
the fruit of motherhood, without feeling like somehow they are missing out.
When in reality all of the qualities of truly being feminine are found in those
who accept as their primary role that of being wives and mothers to their
family. For Friedan, “the movement to equality and the person of women
isn’t finished until motherhood is a fully free choice.”
Although Betty
Friedan and I are not close to being on the same page, we can both agree that
an equal respect for all persons is an appropriate ideal. Jesus and Paul were
the original pioneers of giving dignity to women and the apostle Paul makes
it clear that, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is
neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all
one in Christ Jesus" {Galatians 3:27-28}. There should
be equality of person hood for all people. But women are not men, and we carry
about in our body and mind a structure that makes us ideal for nurturing a
family, not putting in hours at work trying to climb the corporate ladder. Both
nature and the Bible argue for having Christian women stay at home and raise
the next generation of godly offspring.
What is really
sad is the fact that most of today's Christian women haven't even opened their
eyes to the destruction women leaving their homes has had on society. They are
doing everything they can to get on the treadmill of a full-time career without
taking into consideration becoming a wife and mother. Ask a little girl what
she wants to do when she grows up and she will rarely say a wife and mother.
When asking a homemaker what they do, they answer, "Oh, I am JUST
a housewife" as if this job has no value compared to jobs in the
workforce.
Okay, feminists
and Christians, Friedan has proclaimed the first stage of the movement over,
and now is the time to get back into balance. We must once again value what is
of most eternal value which is family. Why are we, as believers, training up
our daughter to have an education and career, but watering down the value in
preparing to become a godly, submissive homemaker? We must think long and hard
about this issue. How many people have you won to the Lord in the past ten
years? Yet, God said the purpose of marriage is to produce godly offspring.
Those children under your roof, they can be used mightily by the Lord. You have
more power to affect this society and the Kingdom with those little people
under your roof than you do any other way.
If a founder of
the feminist movement can see the harm that has been wrought on women by the
feminist movement, shouldn't we? Let’s acknowledge, like Friedan, that the
first stage is over and the second stage needs thoughtful reflection so as not
to end up once again disillusioned and thinking that “the grass is greener on the other
side.”
Unfortunately,
Betty Friedan’s voice of caution, concern and reason has all but been tossed
aside with many preferring to only see her hardened battle words of The Feminine Mystique in her first book. Some in
the movement echo her cries, but look for yourself and you will find her more
experienced and enlightened words from her second book are almost hidden, or
embarrassingly set aside by the movement she helped to found. Try to find one
quote from The Second Stage on the Internet. They are few and far
between. {It was difficult for us to even find a copy of the original book!} It
is time for many to read the book and learn from the many personal stories she
gives of those who could not find fulfillment just because they chased a very
bad dream.
Be not
deceived; God is not mocked:
for
whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
