Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Should Women Breastfeed in Public?


Breastfeeding a baby for a year or more is the most healthy nourishment for a baby. I nursed all of my babies for at least a year. However, I have a problem with this new "breastfeeding shaming" that is going on. Women today believe they can show their breasts since they are breastfeeding their baby as if a bare breast is okay since they are breastfeeding.

God commands older women to teach young women to be chaste and discreet. He also commands that women be modest. We are to cover our bodies and keep them covered except for our husbands. Men like breasts. They like to look at them and feel them. It matters not if they are having sex with their wives, seeing them on television or watching a woman whose breast is exposed while she is nursing. Men are visual by nature. Why do you think pornography brings in billions every single year and it is mostly men who struggle with it?

For some reason, young women today believe that if they are nursing their baby in public and they expose their breast, it's okay. It's not okay. It's not being chaste, discreet and modest. We had this discussion in the chat room and I was shocked that some young women didn't understand this so this is the reason God commands older women to teach young women these things. If young women aren't being taught to be modest, discreet and chaste by older women, they aren't going to hear it anywhere else. I am hear to tell you that men don't distinguish a bare breast that is nursing a baby to breasts he may see in a magazine. 

Exposing your breasts to men who are not your husband is immodest. I realize this is not the message being given by the media but it's a message being given by God. It matters not how other women in other countries breastfeed their babies openly and how it is becoming more and more acceptable in our society. Christians are called to a much higher standard than the world around us and we are called to walk the narrow road of obedience to the Lord as an example to this "faithless and perverse generation" {Matthew 17:17}.

The majority of the women in the chat room believed it was fine to breastfeed in public as long as a woman is discreet and not showing her breasts which I agree with. Some babies don't like to be covered but there are still ways to be covered. However, one of the women made this comment that was profound and I was happy to see got many 'likes', "Sometimes obedience is a cross. I've now nursed six children and have had some that didn't mind covers and some that absolutely hated them. The issue here is not about our 'rights," but what is right. Didn't Paul say if eating meat causes his brother to stumble that he should never eat meat again? There are times in life that practicing love will mean a cross for us. It means I may have to move to an area where my baby can eat without a cover. I may miss a show, conversation, a meal, etc. but I am honoring God with my body and considering others before myself."

Young women, I am commanded by the God of the universe to teach you to be discreet while breastfeeding. We should not learn any of our ways from the society we live in but by God's Word and His will for us. He created men and knows how they are built. He commands women be chaste, discreet and modest for a reason; to protect our brothers in Christ and not to put stumbling blocks into their path. It is also a way to honor the Lord with our bodies and saving them only for our husbands. The most important reason for being discreet according to this verse in Titus is so women will not blaspheme the Word of God.

Older women teach the young women....To be discreet, chaste, 
keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, 
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

Comments (42)

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Completely agree! My 17 year old son is a lifeguard at a public pool. He was shocked when a women whipped it out the other day sitting on the pool steps to breast feed. His boss said they couldn't say anything! Angela
1 reply · active 510 weeks ago
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 512 weeks ago

I agree 100%. I believe you should cover yourself and not be exposed, but like you said, many women think of it as a "right" and that because they are feeding their baby, it is perfectly fine. There is definitely less modesty now.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
Good food for thought. I am passing this on to my younger sister who is due with her first baby in 8 weeks and I know she's been thinking about this topic. I agree, men are very visual. I used to think I could get away with lower tops (not obnoxiously low, but a tiny bit of cleavage showing) since my breasts are a little smaller than most, but shortly after we were married my husband asked me to wear higher-cut shirts because be noticed men looking at me. I was surprised and angry then, but now I completely understand it. For me, personally, I try to not have things lower than a tiny bit under my collarbone and will place my hand over my shirt if I have to bend down. It doesn't matter your bra size or circumstance. We don't want to be stumbling blocks for men.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
I cannot believe so many husbands and men out there are okay with their wives exposing their breasts in public like that in front of so many men. Like you said, a 14 year old boy isnt going to care if there is a baby on it or not. He is going to have inappropriate thoughts when seeing it. I know my husband would be absolutely embarrased if I did such a thing. I constantly go back to Gary Thomas' words when I hear of these topics. We are meant to live our lives for holiness, not happiness.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
When my son was 12, the woman sitting down from him in our pew in church was breastfeeding uncovered. He looked over once and quickly looked away but I caught him looking over a few more times. He told us in the car the reason he kept looking was because he never saw a bare breast before. Jump to 3 years later - he admitted to us that when he went to his friends house after church that day, he told the friend "all about her boob" and then they used the computer to seek out more pictures. He told us this one event was what started his 3 year long addiction to pornography. Jump to another several years later now - he still struggles with pornography off and on. He is adamant that if he ever marries and has children, his wife will NEVER expose her breasts to curious young boys...or anyone other than him/her. Women who show their bare breasts to the world FOR ANY REASON are so so very selfish and the opposite of God's definition of modest.
2 replies · active 403 weeks ago
You are bold and wise to bring this topic up, Lori! This is a subject that me and many women I know do not agree on. I take a Biblical stance on this subject and really cannot see where women are coming from who feel that exposing their breasts, for any reason, is justified. I am even uncomfortable when a woman nurses openly just in front of me. It's not difficult to use a nursing cover, even with a child who doesn't like it. You just train them to be still and obey. If needed, use a breathable blanket that you can sit on the ends so it can't be pulled off.

Once, my family was at the park playing and my husband and I were talking to a lady. I had walked away for a second to move my little one to another spot on the playground and when I came back, the lady had whipped out her breast, started nursing her 2 year old, and was facing my husband talking to him. My poor husband was so shocked! Poor thing completed his sentence facing completely away from her and ended up walking away to play with the kids. We had that happen a second time with another woman while we were eating dinner at a restaurant with her and her husband. Sometimes I am utterly shocked by the poor judgment of others. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this subject.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
I totally agree with you Lori! I am a momma now nursing #8. There has never been a time when I had to be bare other than in the hospital with the nurses at birth. Even then I do my best to be modest. All these young woman who insist on pulling the neck of their shirt down and exposing their whole breast could just as easily pull their hem up and cover the breast and cheek with their shirts. The public display shown now is not about breast feeding rights. It is about the 'right' to do whatever you want where ever you want. More liberal agenda. "Everyone has rights and it doesn't matter if they infringe on others rights", or so they say....
It is a sad state of affairs we as a country are in now.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
Thanks for addressing this. I completely agree with you! There is no reason that my husband should have to deal with other women's intimate parts on display. Especially when it's so easy to have a little modesty and toss a receiving blanket or something over yourself!
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
I have been breastfeeding my son for 17 months and have managed to do it discreetly bc I am a modest lady. But I will say that I had no problem with seeing others breastfeed publicly until recently at a birthday party. We were at a home with several empty rooms, so I took my son upstairs and locked the door to feed him. Later on, two of the moms there with children a little older than mine sat together in the middle of everyone and openly nursed their children together. They are very outspoken proponents of breastfeeding and that act made me realize that they were doing it more for show than anything else, and it made me so uncomfortable for all the men in the room, especially my husband. I didn't want him to see their breasts. No one said anything, and it was very awkward. We all pretended it wasn't happening. I became very angry as a breastfeeding mom myself bc there were plenty of places to do it privately. More and more I realize the need for women to be modest and discreet through your blog and through the Word.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
Love that you brought this up- yes it is natural to nurse your child.
Yes a lot of babies hate being covered up.
But protect your modesty!
I took the moments to nurse my child away from home as a moment alone with my son. If I have to leave the room it may be quieter so I can have my li'l conversations with him.
If I can't leave the room the cover made do and I tried to be in a corner.
Heck, sometimes I put the cover over my head as well so I could smile at my cute baby!

But yes, promote nursing wherever you are- but also protect yourself.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
Really great insights, Lori. Its something I honestly haven't thought much about to be honest. I've always gone out to my car or used a cover whenever it's time to nurse my baby. I'm a very private person and would die to show my breasts in public!!! I will nurse openly in front of my sisters, mom, or mother in law though. (I know that's different). You're right though, men are so visual that I don't think they care WHY the breast is out, just that it is a breast!
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
There's not only nursing, showing too much that's the problem Sometimes nursing mothers were very tight tops, that leave little to the imagination. I remember nursing when the babies were getting older. They would be easily distracted and stop nursing completely. You do need a cover then!
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
I am so thankful you wrote on this. I have been in Christian chat pages where several women think it's OK to breastfeed uncovered and that it's the man's problem if he lusts because she is doing something natural. I've seen people get angry to the point of tears over this subject that anyone would say it's not modest to expose the breast while feeding. I've seen websites trying to liberate women in this area so that they feel unashamed to be uncovered. One Christian woman argued that breastfeeding uncovered is not exposing any more skin than those wearing bikinis on the beach. While I may agree with that, bikinis are not modest either, so that argument doesn't work for me.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
I remember being at a pinic with my nursing baby. There was no place to go where l could nurse in some privacy. I went to the parking lot got in our car and fed her there. When l got back to the picnic some mothers gave me a hard time. They said breasts were made for babies. For thousands of years we have been nursing, men need to get over it. Why should l hide something so beautiful and natural. Unfortunately many young moms feel pressure from their peers . There are some very out spoken la leche leaders that encourage feeding anywhere and everywhere.
1 reply · active 512 weeks ago
Interesting that you posted this. My wonderful wife and I were discussing this just this afternoon. For some time I thought it was strange that anyone would object to the proper use of the breasts for feeding a baby. It's a very wonderful thing to see, done discretely, in public.

What I only recently realized is that we're not talking about women publicly feeding their babies, we're talking about women who use no discretion when doing so. That was 'the rest of the story' that I had been missing.

It is generally difficult for women to understand that men are visually stimulated, because it is so foreign to the way their minds work. So, those that think men and women are the same gender may honestly not understand what's at issue here. Thanks for putting out a blog full of practical wisdom from the Word of God!
I was at Universal Studios last week and while we were in line, someone was breastfeeding her baby. I wanted to ask her, "Excuse me, why are you showing your breast to my husband??" Good grief!!
I had this happen to me last Sunday in church. We sit two rows from the front and the lady beside me started breastfeeding without a cover or blanket. IN CHURCH!? I couldn't believe it! We have a special nursing room just off the sanctuary with a live-feed to the service on a TV, so it was not like there was no place to go. I am very modest and I was embarrassed that she did it right in front of me! :S
I cannot imagine nursing a baby un-covered in public! Having a baby latched on does not make it any more modest.
Well I do agree with this. There are ways to feed your baby and not show your whole breast. I always preferred to sit in my car in a hidden area of a parking lot where no one would see me IF I could not be home. 99% of the time I stayed home when I knew the babies would want to eat though. To me it's the same as wearing a bikini at the beach. If you would not wear your bra and underwear around strangers why are you wearing a bikini? I really do not get this immodesty.
This is interesting and I find my opinions to be somewhere in the middle. BEing that my husband is a pastor that works with college and 20s (guys and girls) and I help out all the time I have thought about this a lot! Modesty is so important and so is the feeding of your child. I do not believe you should have to go to another room to feed your child, but I don't think you should be showing too much either. I think there are discreet ways to breastfeed in public that do mot compromise your modesty or cause others to stumble. I also believe that it has to do with the state of your heart in its intentions. Why are you breastfeeding in public… to feed your child or to prove a point.
I appreciate you talking about this topic.

I breastfeed in public without an official cover, but I am still very discreet and modest in the way I do it. I used to use a cover, but my daughter does not do well with it at all. She's much fussier at the breast when I would use it, and she would get so warm inside (although it wasn't thick material whatsoever). We would draw so much attention to ourselves- not discreet at all. Instead, I usually have a little blanket or burp cloth, etc with me. I position the blanket underneath my daughter- specifically her head and along the side of my arm that I'm feeding on. I also pull my shirt up, so that it bunches at the top near her face, so no skin shows. The blanket doesn't cover her face- so she can still see me. It isn't too warm because it's not actually wrapped around her. And it keeps any of my torso covered, should she move or whatnot. (Instead of a blanket, you can also use a nursing tank top.)

Before I did anything, though, I talked with my husband. I asked him for his thoughts. I showed him what breastfeeding looks like with the cover and without the cover/with the blanket. He made the final decision on me breastfeeding in public. I believe that every woman should first go to her husband and get his thoughts on the topic. If my husband were uncomfortable with the way I was nursing my daughter, I would change it!

People hardly know I'm nursing unless they look real close or hear her gulping! (haha) Several people have been in a conversation with me for a few minutes when they suddenly say, "Oh! You're nursing! I thought you were just holding her." haha

We can be discreet and modest AND care for our wee babes.

Again, thank you for bringing up this topic.
~Raquel www.atthenewlyweds.blogspot.com
1 reply · active 511 weeks ago
Great post. I was not able to breastfeed my son, but if I had, I would NEVER have exposed myself if I wasn't at home. I'm not trying to judge but I think if a woman will do that, she has no concern for anyone but herself. And to Anonymous, who posted about her son's problems, I want you to know that I will put him on my prayer list.
Thank you for a clear post expressing the just expression of our freedom and responsibility in the subject of breastfeeding. I'm baffled by the new cluelessness and lack of modesty .

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