Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Black And White, Unemotional And Not Affectionate

These are the words Jessa Duggar and her family used to describe her: black and white, unemotional, and not affectionate.  There was no condemnation or judging from anybody, just matter-of-fact, when they were saying these adjectives. This is her personality. I have the same personality and I grew up thinking it was bad.

Every summer, we would go to Wisconsin where all my mom's family vacations. I dreaded when we arrived because I knew all my aunts would hug me! I didn't like hugging when I was young. {Now I love to hug and I cry fairly easily now also.} At movies, my mom and sisters would be balling their eyes out and I wouldn't shed a tear. Something must be wrong with me, I always thought! As you can tell from my writings, I also am very black and white.

I have come to understand that being black and white, unemotional and  not affectionate are not sins! We all have different personalities and I love how the Duggars seem to just accept each child with their personality traits and encourage them often.

Some girls are out going and bubbly. Others are quiet and not too talkative. That is okay. There is no right or perfect personality. God created us all different. He never says in His Word to talk a lot {actually He tells us to not talk too much}. He never says we have to be bubbly and affectionate or even cry at movies. We are called to love others, be good listeners, and serve others but we must allow our children to blossom with their own individual personalities and love them just the way they are.

The kids long for the day when they can get out of the home and spend time with people who accept them as they are. {Michael Pearl} I encourage you to accept your children the way they are with their unique personalities. They are made in God's image and continue to reaffirm to them who they are in Christ, new creature and overcoming all things in Christ.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: 
old things are passed away; 
behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17

Michael Pearl wrote a fabulous article called Who Defines Your Children? 
that is well worth reading.