Monday, September 15, 2014

Repenting Of Your Controlling Ways

He kept a spread sheet of all the times he asked his wife for sex but was turned down. In a span of six weeks, he asked his wife for sex 27 times and she said "yes" three of those times. She turned him down 24 times for reasons like, "I'm watching a show" and "I am too drunk and ate too much" to just plain out "No!" {source}.

What is so sad about this and so many similar stories is thinking about all the young couples out there who are not having much sex in the prime of their lives because the women don't "feel" like it. The best time to have sex is when you are young and your fertility and hormones are at their highest. 

Now, if you have figured out that you need to obey God and become a godly, submissive wife who stops trying to control your husband and obeys him instead, the first thing you need to do is repent and tell your husband how sorry you are for making his life miserable. Repentance actually means to do a one eighty and go in the complete opposite direction.

Therefore, you need to sincerely apologize to your husband and then work on completely changing your behavior. Confessing your sin to your spouse and asking for forgiveness is the first step towards healing. Just this one step can begin the transformation of your marriage into a heavenly one!

It isn't easy to apologize and admit we were wrong, but it is crucial for real healing to begin. If you want a close and intimate relationship with your husband, you are going to need to apologize for all the times you denied him sex, argued with him, tried to control him, etc. He needs to hear this from you and know that you are serious about changing.

Confession is cleansing. We are called to confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed {James 5:16}. Healing comes through confession and admitting our faults and the harm we have done to others through our sin. 

One woman I was counseling, after being convicted in her part in the failure of her marriage, took her husband down to the beach and told him all the ways she was at fault in her broken marriage. Afterwards, they both wept in each other's arms and it was the beginning of beautiful marriage.

This takes putting away your pride and humbling yourself in front of your husband. He, most likely, will love and respect you for doing this. NEVER be afraid of doing what God asks you to do. His ways are good and healing.