Friday, August 14, 2015

Why Our Husbands are Worthy of Honor

{A guest post by Psalm1Wife} 

Men desire honor in a way that women desire love or acceptance. So, let's take a moment to try and understand the depths to which men desire honor. If you found out today that your husband no longer accepts you and he does not wish for you to dwell in his home because he loves you no more, the feeling that you would be experiencing may be akin to the feeling that a husband whose wife does not demonstrate honor for him is feeling. Now, this may seem too drastic, but in actuality, it may not be. We, as women, will never know because we do not desire honor in the way men do.

However, if honor is this valuable to men, then we ought to have some further understanding of the subject and concrete ways of knowing how to practice this in everyday life. You can thank Sunshine Mary for the answer.

She said, "Jesus is worthy of honor because of Who He is, the husband and head of His bride, the Church.  We should honor husbands and fathers for who they are in addition to anything they may have done...God made your husbands in a very special way, different than you. He knows how they perceive value {loyalty} and He knows how they respond when they know they are valued. Trust God that He gave you very specific instruction for your marriage for a reason. Do not fear it. Do not project on to your husband a distrust of his integrity. And stop talking publicly about the line in which your husband must walk to receive your loyalty."

I think this single profound thought was the pivoting point in my own marriage that brought about the most change and propelled that change in myself. It is the first point that I would make to a confused but well-meaning wife who has been drilled a lifetime's worth of lies about how to be a good wife.

If we understand and live as if our behavior toward our husband is not based on whether or not he is deserving, but based on our command to defer to his higher ranking, then we have come a long way.

Now that we understand the why, let's talk about the how. Sunshine Mary lists four valid attitudes that will elicit a sense of honor towards our husbands from us: respect, admiration, loyalty and obedience.

If we are to constantly honor our husbands, then the answer is as simple as this; if what you are saying or doing is not conveying respect, admiration, loyalty or obedience to your husband, STOP!

I am a woman who needs an example. This is why Debi Pearl was so successful in helping me understand my errors. She exemplified what to do right, while pointing out what I was doing wrong. She said sentences that I could repeat throughout the day to help me do what is required of me. She explained what was unexplainable to me.

That is exactly what Sunshine Mary has done here. She has explained to us how to honor our husbands. This is big news! It is also quite simple to grasp now that it has been laid on the table. Do not say or do anything that does not honor your husband. How? Do not say or do anything that is not conveying respect, admiration, loyalty or obedience to him.

Those four words are easy enough for me to repeat throughout the day and they are not fuzzy or unfamiliar terminology like submission or honor; they are words that every wife understands. These words clearly define the line between honorable or dishonorable behavior.

I want to feel loved and appreciated by my husband. Why? If this was torn from me, I would be lost. If my husband needs honor in this way, then it is worth my most sincere effort to make sure I do this for him and for Him.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular 
so love his wife even as himself; 
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

***In the wise words of Nancy Campbell, "I have to CHOOSE to love my husband, choose to be sweet to him, choose to make love to him (lots), choose to serve him, choose to honor him, choose to be the most amazing wife that's ever lived! It's all to do with CHOICE! And most of the time you don't feel like doing any of these things. But you don't live by your feelings. You live by what is right. You live by blessing the other person. You live by the love of God which is shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you {Romans 5:5}.
As you do this, God's promises comes back like a boomerang to bless you. Whatever you sow, you reap. Whatever you pour out on your husband will come back to you. It’s an eternal law {Galatians 6:7}."
Photo by Christina Litle