Ken and I were watching television together one night, I turned to him and said, "Turn down the volume, please, " Then, I was convicted that we shouldn't demand anything from our husband, but instead ask in a respectful way like, "Can you please turn down the volume?" I must learn to ask him things instead of command him to do things.
Most women are very good at telling their husbands what to do; after all, we are the ones in charge of the homes. However, we must always remember that God made the husband the head of the wife and in charge. We must NEVER treat him as a child but respect him as our husband.
Most men HATE being ordered by their wives since essentially it is showing disrespect, yet they put up with it in order to try and keep peace in the home or they grew up with a mother who bossed their father around, so they think it it is normal. Our desire will be to control our husband but their God-given position is one of head honcho in the home.
Therefore, women, we must learn to train ourselves to stop controlling or demanding our husbands in any way, even in the way we ask them to do things for us. Commands from wives are insulting to a man since it is just another way to try to control them as if wives have the right to control their husbands! We can absolutely ask them to do something for us without ordering them around. If they don't do what you have asked in a respectful way or they forget, don't get upset!
Learning to be a godly, submissive wife does not come naturally to the majority of us. Yes, some preachers preach that wives need to be submissive to their husbands but the majority of women have no idea what that looks like practically; I know I sure didn't. This is why God commands that older women teach the young women how to love and obey their husband. It doesn't just mean in the big things such as where we're going to live, but in all the little day-to-day things also. It has to do with our body language, tone of voice, the words we speak and the way we look at our husband; including the way we ask our husbands for something. There needs to be time spent teaching young women since it encompasses so many areas, including areas in my own life along the way!
Let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
