Christian women need to be told the truth about men ~
Men are attracted to youth and looks. This is normal. Men are not evil, base or perverted for being attracted to youth and beauty. Young Christian girl, if you are not getting approached or asked out, it’s probably because you’re not attractive enough, you’re not nice enough or you’re not available enough. You need to work on this. You need to lose weight, grow your hair out, wear nice clothes and some decent makeup. You might be a b****, and if you are, you need to be nicer. If you really want to find a man and marry, then you need to get serious about it while you’re young.
There is a big push in our society as its waistline expands to accept being heavy as normal and beautiful. Our love affair with high fat foods, sugary sodas and desserts, and highly processed foods is finally catching up to us. Sure, we hear about the dangers of obesity but it seems we are trying to normalize it instead of fight against it and call it what it is...gluttony.
Before you call me judgmental, you should know by now that I try to speak out about all sin. Sin is destructive. It is never beautiful or something we should glorify and make normal.
There are so many beautiful women who would love to be married but are heavy and out of shape. I posted that first paragraph which was written by a man to try and persuade young women who are looking for a husband to begin eating healthy, working out, join Weight Watchers, whatever it takes to look better. Men are visual. That is the way God made them. Instead of criticizing them and trying to make them think being overweight is attractive, realize this is not true and do something about it.
Gluttony is a sin. Don't let that cookie boss you around anymore and potentially destroy a future marriage for you. Take charge and get in shape. Eat lots of salads, fresh chicken, eggs, and fish. Laugh a lot and be happy. Be feminine. This is very attractive to men!
Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat,
for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty,
and slumber will clothe them with rags.
Logging you in...
Laura · 581 weeks ago
Trudy · 581 weeks ago
2happy4 66p · 581 weeks ago
Also, as you were saying, we try to normalize being overweight instead of fighting against it in this culture. That normalization has gotten out of hand and I hear things like "real women have curves" all the time. I don't. I am a "real woman" and I personally am completely over hearing how I am not because I don't have curves. "Real women" are also apparently a size 12. I am not but yet I am still a "real" woman. So if you are promoting being a larger size, well that is between you and God, but don't repeat the foolish talk of defining what "real" women are and tell the rest of us we are just fake? women or maybe children?
Kim · 581 weeks ago
We need to take care of ourselves. I do try to present myself as clean and in order so the people I'm with aren't thought of as slobs because of me, but I rarely wear makeup and some friends think I'm brave for being real. And that is the key word: real.
I used to drive a bus at a college. One girl was beautiful, and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Then she spoke. I've heard foul language before, but she was (and has been) the worst, and I wasn't the only one who was shocked. When she got off, I understood how a woman who fears the Lord is worth more than rubies.
If Christian men need visual help to date Christian women who are better dressed than slobs, we need to go back to square one and start teaching better.
Cabinetman · 581 weeks ago
I point that Fran made that's really important. Young christian, godly men don't want to marry a career gal. They don't want their wife gone all day, answering to another man, giving her time, energy and ambition to someone else. We want that at home shared with us and raising our kids. They also don't want to start a marrriage with 100k in college debt from a wife who probably won't be working. Do not send your teenage daughters to college! They are propaganda feeding, sin enticing & faith destroying places! Trust me, I went to a christian college (leaning towards the devout) and it does not do good things to most young woman's charachter.
Laura, I will agree that there are a shortage of good young christian men. But I will tell you that men are incentive motivated. It should not be that way. We should be God motiviated. But at 18 there is little else on a man's mind. Men and women were not meant to marry at 28 & 26. You are asking young men to live ten years sin free during the highest testorone period of their life. Few can do it, very few. We have to start marrying off our sons and daughters at an earlier age and instead of trusting the college education will take care of them, trusting that God will take care of them. Most men that love God, but struggle in this area would move heaven and earth and would tackle any sin in their life for a loving and devout girl. So yes, porn is a problem, a big problem but it's a multi-faceted problem with young men and young women, fathers and mothers all contributing in some regard.
helen · 581 weeks ago
Thank goodness that God looks beyond the physical and sees our real heart and personality!
Blessings
Helen UK
Marissa · 581 weeks ago
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 119:37
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Jeremiah 4:30
And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life.
1 Timothy 4:8 ESV
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfec
Marissa · 581 weeks ago
Lisa · 581 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 581 weeks ago
Fran · 581 weeks ago
Monica · 581 weeks ago
2happy4 66p · 581 weeks ago
To the women who are already married who are upset by this post, tell your husband you are excited to be with him (in the Biblical sense) but you don't want him to shower, brush his teeth or groom himself. You just want to delight in his spirituality.
Victoria · 581 weeks ago
Michelle · 581 weeks ago
In my adulthood I have developed the belief that modesty is taught in a largely improper way in the church. Girls and women should of course dress modestly, it is important and glorifying to God. But that is how it should be taught--it should be taught as something that honors ourselves and honors God, not as a measure we take to protect others but rather as a measure we take to protect our own dignities. No one can be blamed for another's sin--sin is solely the responsibility of the sinner. So why then are we teaching girls that they are responsible to protect the boys from sinning? Honestly, I think because it's the easiest way. But that changes the message from "Honor God and show Him your love by covering your body appropriately" to "your body is dirty and is a vessel that Satan will use to tempt boys to lust." This hurts the message (which is so great--it offers girls another way to glorify God every day of their lives!) and causes girls to hate themselves or view even being attractive as a problem. If we change the message, I think the problem would (in part--there will always be some women for whom makeup, etc. is too much a hassle and they just won't do it) resolve itself.
Charlotte · 581 weeks ago
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 119:37
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Jeremiah 4:30
And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life.
1 Timothy 4:8 ESV
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
Ecclesiastes 2:11
Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.
Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Galatians 5:16-26
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions
Matthew 7:1-5
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Colossians 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Ecclesiastes 6:12
For who knows what is good for man while he lives the few days of his vain life, which he passes like a shadow? For who can tell man what will be after him under the sun?
Ecclesiastes 1:2
Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
2 Peter 2:18
For, speaking loud boasts of folly, they entice by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping from those who live in error.
John 8:32
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Romans 12:1
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Romans 2:1-4
Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?.
Job 4:8
As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same
1 Timothy 6:20
O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you. Avoid the irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called “knowledge,”
Ecclesiastes 11:9-10
Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Remove vexation from your heart, and put away pain from your body, for youth and the dawn of life are vanity.
Ephesians 4:17
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
1 Timothy 1:6
Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion,
2 Kings 9:30
When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it. And she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window.
Momys · 581 weeks ago
I am mentioning this because I want you to take these comments within this context and not sweep them aside because you think I'm some liberal feminist.
1. General hygiene is WAY different to focusing on outer beauty. Using that argument is flawed and does anyone who uses it a disservice.
2. Men/Godly Men are not one homogeneous group. They have different views on beauty.
3. My husband and I have always taught our sons that they are to look at the heart of the person God has for them. That God has a wife in mind for them. Your argument, Lori, leaves God completely out of the equation. It assumes that MAN alone makes this choice. Unless of course you say that God only want pretty, skinny girls to be married?
4. When I look at scripture I see a huge emphasis on God looking at the heart and not the outward appearance. As I walk my walk with Christ and as I am on this journey alongside my children I am constantly reminded that we are beloved children of God and that we are to be more and more like him. This also definitely applies to looking at the heart and not the outward appearance.
5. We often speak about self-control and discipline of the self. That also means catching ourselves and FLEEING from the temptation to constantly criticize and judge by a standard that is not the standard of God. Our guide should be the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, not the folly of men and the heart that is deceitful above all things - Deceitful especially in matters of the heart and focusing on outward beauty, despite what may be in the heart.
Our standard is to be the Word of God.
Annonymous · 581 weeks ago
By the way, I am an overweight woman who is happily married. I was overweight when we started dating, overweight when we got engaged, and overweight when we got married. Guess what? My husband still finds me attractive and we have a happy, beautiful marriage.
Cabinetman · 581 weeks ago
Most of Sarah's Daughter's quote is about being more womanly. More feminine and definetly not bi***y. And yes some of it was that by and large men prefer a woman who doesn't carry around too much extra weight.. We understand kids happen. We understand age happens. But you are kidding yourself if you think heavy girls get their pick of husbands as the quote was speaking about. On a recent study of dating websites, girls who were overweight got 90% less inquiries than those who were not.
So mostly the quote was about being more womanly plain and simple, because true womanhood is under assault in every western world country.
Ken · 581 weeks ago
The E-Harmony president was on CNBC and the reporter said to him, "Tell us about the 29 points of chemistry you have found in the making of a relationship. He responded, "Chemistry is really only one of the 29 Core traits" and that common values, upbringing, energy levels, etc. were just as important long term to a relationship.
But it is the chemistry that gets the fire started in most cases. We taught our boys to marry a godly girl, but we did say "gorgeous godly girl inside and out." Are we bad Christian parents for setting the bar where we did? We did not intend for the kids to all marry stunning beauties, but we did teach them that physical appearance in the spouse you choose is one important trait.
Why place any emphasis on the outside? I think that one does not have to be a stunning beauty to "look cute, act cute, and be cute." Cute comes in many ways with some girls who may not be as beautiful having an boat load of boys chasing her because of the way she smiles, laughs, interacts and is joyful. So godliness and personality was far more important to us than the outside package.
I don't know about you all out there but I have watched the latest generation of young men spending lots of time making sure they are in shape. They work out much more than I or my friends ever thought of doing back in our day. Many are not just in shape, but they are buff, having spent hours in the gym lifting. I have watched many young ladies dress in baggy clothes, not take care of their hair or wear it short, and overdue or under do the makeup. It is like the need for "good looks" has almost reversed in a generation from female to male?
Here is what I think these guys are thinking when they see a cute girl who should be in significantly better physical shape:
1) If she is overweight now, what will the future look like for us?
2) If she is undisciplined with eating, or her looks, what other areas may she lack discipline?
3) Will she want to be outdoors and do athletic things with me because that is very important to me?
4) And yes, what will she look like on my arm?
It is often the “freshman ten” that gets lots of girls overweight, and then it is tough to get back in shape. Girls may feed their desire for love with food, and it is amazing how they fit into that wedding dress when love finally arrives. And new disciplines can keep the weight off permanently. Many men and women can be heavy for years, then drop the pounds, and love the way they look and feel, working hard to forever stay in shape.
Most godly guys are not shallow, but they are consciously and subconsciously selecting a spouse they believe will match them best. They only get one shot at marriage, so if they take it seriously, they will include weight in their selection process. And now we return to Lori’s truthful points, which may be hard to hear for some. It will be worth offending a few if the message gets through and a number of young ladies start saying yes to exercise and no to over eating,
And you do not have to be a toothpick to be attractive, just in shape, and taking care of you temple of the Holy Spirit like a good steward.
Joluise · 581 weeks ago
Sue · 581 weeks ago
Jordan Kincaid · 581 weeks ago
Courtney · 581 weeks ago
fathermarker 1p · 581 weeks ago