James Dobson from Focus on the Family has done a lot of good in his lifetime. He ministers to families and knows that they are the foundation upon which a healthy society is built. I agree with a lot of his teachings. I remember long ago when his children were young, he taught that mothers needed to be home full-time when the children were young. As his children got older, he would decide that mothers needed to be home full-time when they were older also. Then, he decided that even children in high school need full-time mothers. I applauded him for his advice.
He recently came out with the poster shown above. I disagree with it. I don't think any woman is comfortable following a husband's leadership and this is why older women are commanded to teach young women to love and obey their husbands. None of us want to be told what to do. We want things our way and the way we like it. No one submits to authority easily. It has to be taught just as children need to be taught to submit to their parent's authority. I have known many kind and gentle parents who didn't discipline and teach their children obedience to their authority. Therefore, the children grew up to be disobedient.
This kind of teaching destroys marriages. Most wives will never think their husbands are loving or gentle enough for them to follow. 'Loving' and 'gentle' will have to live up to their definitions and expectations of what those words look like. They become the leader of the home, instead of the husband. I have seen marriages where the husbands were very kind, yet the wives nagged them mercilessly.
Ken has always been loving and worthy of my respect. He has not always fit my definition of gentle but can you tell me any husband that does??? I'm not always gentle, are you? Aren't we called to take the log out of our own eye before we take the splinter out of someone else's? Besides, our obedience to the Lord should NEVER EVER depend on someone else's obedience. This is a total recipe for disaster!
Certainly husbands are worthy of our respect but they will always have faults and disappoint us. They won't live up to our expectations. They won't do things we like, however, this shouldn't matter to us. Obeying God is what should matter to us and cause us to follow our husband's lead by being submissive to them.
Therefore, women, don't wait for your husband to become the husband that you think he needs to become before you obey God. Obey God now, today, and see what God will accomplish through YOUR obedience. He works through those who are willing to give up their rights and do things His way since He is our Creator and knows what is best for us.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may
without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
I Peter 3:1