Some of you are married to unbelievers. You married an unbeliever even though you knew it was wrong. You loved him and wanted to spend your life with him. Others became believers after they married but their husbands aren't interested. It isn't easy being married to an unbeliever. Your view on politics, raising children, and many things are different since you see everything from a biblical view and they see things from a worldly view.
Now what? Many times, women aren't happy being married to unbelievers. They don't feel like they have anything in common with them anymore. Some husbands are even mean. They don't treat their wives kindly and are always grumpy. They may even close you out of their lives by working a lot, watching a lot of television or playing sports.
One thing you must never forget is that as long as you live with them, you are sanctifying them. They are seeing Jesus in you since Jesus lives in and through you. Jesus is in their home. If you leave, they no longer have Jesus in their life and the chances of them becoming saved are slim since they will probably have a bad taste in their mouth with anything concerning Jesus since their "Jesus freak" wife wouldn't even stay with them.
Now, if the unbelieving husband wants to leave, you must let them leave, according to God's Word. It is the one reason Paul gives for allowing divorce. Yes, it is a sacrifice women make when they choose to remain with an unbelieving husband but one that has eternal significance.
God hates divorce. It deeply damages children and causes harm to the cause of Christ. When believing spouses leaving unbelieving spouses, Jesus leaves their home. They are no longer influenced by goodness, faithfulness, and purity. God tells us that women have the power to win their unbelieving husbands without a word by their godly behavior. Wow!
Besides sanctifying your husband, your children are made holy! Your children need a mother and a father. If she separates and the father has the children sometimes, they will no longer have a godly influence while they are at their father's. This is not good and something that needs to be carefully considered by any woman who wants to divorce her unbelieving husband.
Therefore women, for the sake of your husband and your children, stay married. Focus on the Lord, your children and your home. Allow the Lord to convict and change your husband.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:
else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
I Corinthians 7:14
Logging you in...
Natalie · 535 weeks ago
I'm married to a man that claims to believe Jesus is his savior, but he certainly doesn't act like a believer. He uses the Lord's name in vain, curses, slams door, shouts, and has destroyed parts of our home when he is angry. I never know what to do when he reacts this way, and I never know what will set him off. We never do anything together, and part of the reason is I'm afraid he'll act this way in public. He is finally employed again after losing his job a year ago, and I wonder if his temper is what might have got him fired in the first place. This is his second job to loose since we have been married (4 years). He was talking the other day about having children, but I'm scared to have children with him. Not only that, but i can't even recall the last time we were together as husband and wife. I've only ever wanted to be married and be a mother, and is afraid that I only married him to fulfill that desire. I think I married the wrong man. I know that you always encourage women to stay married, and I'm sure that is what you'll advise me of too, but I'd love to hear your feedback none the less. Thank you.
Cynthia Swenson · 535 weeks ago
thejoyfilledwife 62p · 535 weeks ago
Rose Franco · 535 weeks ago
Tho God hates divorce, He sent his creation away from Him but provided a savior...Jesus.
Wives can only do so much to keep a family together.....at times she and the children must leave the abusive (beatings, threat of murder of she and the children) husband to the hands of the Lord. God will give the wife direction when she puts her complete trust in Him.
Please give women/wives hope if they are living with a man who is destructive and violent. Do not insist that God wants them to endure violence. Many women and children have been murdered by violent men/husbands.
Ken · 535 weeks ago
The Bible speaks plainly and clearly as Lori has quoted it above. If abuse is taking place, such a wife should go seek godly counsel from an older godly woman in her church and an elder. Christians must live lives in the community of the church and allow all of the Word of God to speak to them, not just some verses. God does not want a wife in a dangerous or physically abusive situation so find out how God's Word supports you in protecting the family and remaining faithful to God's will for your life.
Ultimately only each individual can determine what is best for their lives and family, and if something does not sit right, always go get help. But also so not let those who see abuse in every cross word, or sin, manipulate you out of following the clear teaching of the scriptures. For it is in following God at His Word that we reap His blessings, and his promise to a spouse married to an unbeliever is that he/she sanctifies the marriage and family. Separation is an option for a time to help a spouse get their act together and to work things out, but be careful that all that one does is out of pure motives, well counseled, and with the intent to regain the relationship not destroy it. If not, God's greatest blessings for one's life may be lost.
For any abuse, get help. That said, allow the spouses to whom Paul is referring who are married to unbelievers with no hint of abuse to go about being faithful to God's Word in their lives.
Roxy · 535 weeks ago
Marrying is such a wonderful gift from the Lord! But when women don't seek wise counsel before marrying a man that says he's a Christian and might even go to church with you a few times.
But being married is day in and day out! So why take a chance when you see these red flags. Get counselling from a Godly mature couple!
I thank both you and Ken for always sounding the alarm!
This world needs to see these warnings, It is a kind thing to warn others of things to look for before marriage, and the warning that we are called to stay married.
And you both have always told women to seek safety when danger of harm was possible!
God Bless you both!
Merry Christmas!
Blessings, Roxy
Maria · 535 weeks ago
Jo · 535 weeks ago
She writes: “ Our goal is for our husbands to see Christ as often and as clearly as possible when they look at us. He is ‘the Light’ we are to let shine, not be striving to impress our husbands but by nurturing the presence of Jesus within us”. She also says “pray without ceasing, even if it has to be done silently” and that is something I do often.
It is a delicate balance but with Christ, all things ARE possible.
Robb · 535 weeks ago
Biblical submission it doesn't matter. Even just over the couple weeks in comments its brought up
From any blogs Lori or Ken have ever written never once have they condoned violence or abuse from husband or wife. They just tell the truth and the truth sometimes is hard to acknowledge!!
I think we all know how to respond to the first comment on this blog. When there is REAL abuse in any regards to any spouse it is repulsive!!
We are desperate need of biblical truth, not our own feelings an perversion of the word.
Rob · 535 weeks ago
Is it unbelieving husbands, abusive husbands, whimpy husbands, unsubmissive wives. Absolutely not should a wife leave an unbelieving husband or should a husband leave an ubsubmissive wife. Like you said it all comes down to TRUSTING the word of GOD. NOT OUR selfish sinful. Yes sinful self. Our church is so wishy washy on marriage because half the congregation would be offended.
Lets put it this way Lori, if our Pastors taught sermons like you and Ken write your blogs we all would be far better at TRUSTING the word of GOD
Thank you for all the time and tiresome hours you put in on your blog everyday to help encourage us all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Merry Christmas Lori
Prayers for your family and your marriage and importantly your health over the holiday season and in the new Year
Rob · 535 weeks ago
Herein lies the problem though when churches such as mine and from what i hear from others dont get to the heart of the matter. We belong to a great church, our pastor is a young very pleasant enthusiastic man.
But dont we go to church to hear the truth?, and be encouraged for our week to come. I know the truth isn't always easy to hear, but we need to hear it!!! Our lives are full of temptations to disobey, that is why this blog is so encouraging because it speaks BIBLICAL truth. Not wishy washy non sense.
I dont like speaking for others, but i am sure we all would agree and say. Thank you Lori
Domestic Engineer · 535 weeks ago
Desiree · 535 weeks ago
Yesterday or the day before I commented about my husband and my past. I said that I wouldn't trade my life now for anything...well...I must confess...knowing what I know now, if I had it to do over again...I would have fought for my first marriage longer and harder and I would not have married an unsaved man. That means I might not also have my precious boy but God would have blessed me differently...perhaps filling my home with babies I conceived. I hope I don't sound crazy. God took the mess I made and blessed me in spite of myself. And for that I am so grateful!!!
Sami · 535 weeks ago
Obliterated · 535 weeks ago
musicow2 22p · 534 weeks ago