Monday, February 9, 2015

How Do You Love A Child Who is Hard to Love?

Do you have a child that is difficult to love; the strong willed one who takes so much time and effort and maybe is like you? I know you feel guilty about it since it is so easy to love the others. What should you do when your feelings of love towards one child isn't nearly as strong as your feelings of love for the others?

Recognize that love is NOT a feeling. It is a commitment. I am commanded to teach young women to love their children. This means it doesn't always come naturally but it is something that you must do. If you have a child that is harder to love, pour your love upon them even more. Make sure you are telling them that you love them often. Smother them with hugs and kisses. Be gentle with them. Win them with your love.

Yes, continue to discipline and train them. You may need to discipline them more than the other children but still love them. Children need a good balance of love and discipline. They suffer greatly if one of them is missing. You, as their mother, are responsible to give them both.

You must NEVER base any of your actions upon your feelings, emotions or thoughts. Always base your actions upon God's Word and then your feelings, emotions and thoughts are likely to follow.  Just as sometimes you don't feel in love with your husband, you love him anyways in obedience to the Lord. Go out of your way during those times to show him that you love him. Conquer your bad feelings and thoughts with right actions.

Children can tell if a parent has favorites. Playing favorites and loving one more than the others is not godly or right. It hurts the one you favor as well as those you don't favor. We are commanded to not compare others with others. Each child was born with their own talents and personalities. They can't help it. It is who God created them to be. Learn to appreciate each child's unique talents and personalities.

The greatest of all is love. Love covers a mulititude of sins. Good overcomes evil. God wants us to love and to do good, especially the children He has blessed you with. Love on your children; every single one. Love them deeply. Obey God's command to you that you LOVE your children; all of them. His ways are right and good.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: 
for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8