Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Mothers Were Created for the Details!

A mother wrote about being the "default parent." She doesn’t think it’s fair that she is the default parent even though she works part-time. Her definition of the default parent is, All. Day. Long. I handle the needs of all three of our kids: activity sign-ups, transportation logistics, doctor & dentist appointments, friend and boy issues, hurt feelings, school fundraisers, gift buying, haircuts, clothes shopping, and thank you note writing, which, incidentally, is the work of the devil. I also manage the organization of drawers between seasons to see what fits. This is a crap job that only the default parent even knows exists.
Default parents know the names of their kids' teachers, all of them. They fill out endless forms, including the 20-page legal document necessary to play a sport at school, requiring a blood oath not to sue when your kids gets concussions, because they are going to get concussions. They listen to long, boring, intricate stories about gym games that make no sense. They spell words, constantly. They know how much wrapping paper there is in the house. The default parent doesn't have her own calendar, but one with everyone's events on it that makes her head hurt when she looks at it. They know a notary. They buy poster board in 10-packs. They've worked tirelessly to form a bond with the school receptionists. They know their kids' sizes, including shoe."

She can’t understand why her husband doesn’t take on any of these activities. Many women who work full-time take on all or most of these responsibilities also, which is very difficult. There is a simple explanation; moms were made to be multitaskers and the keepers of the home. We were created for the details. Men were not. We are the more nurturing of the sexes since children grow in our bodies; we nurse them and we are their mothers. God also gave us hormones to be the more emotional and sensitive ones to care for little ones and care about every detail.

Yes, if a mother is working full-time, a father should help around the home. However, this is the reason God commands young women to be keepers at home. There is a clear role delineation between the sexes.  This prevents so much less conflict in the home and marriage. Running a household and children is a full-time job. It is far easier if it is being done by the mother since this is her God-given role.  When a mother runs most of the details of running a home and raising children and the father works hard to provide for the family, they both have it easier than trying to handle each other's roles on top of their own. It would be wonderful if more husbands and fathers would realize the toll that their working wife is taking on their families and allow them to come home.

She {not he} looketh well to the ways of her household,
 and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
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