Saturday, November 21, 2015

The Overuse of the Word "Abuse"

While reading a book about marriage, I read about two women who were going to share their stories about being abused by their husbands. Then the author explained one wife "suffered the pain of pornography" and the other one "endured the pain of verbal abuse." I agree these are sins committed against these wives but I believe we use the word "abuse" way too often and diminish what some women are enduring at the hands of their husbands.

These are both painful situations a wife must endure. However, would you describe a husband enduring a wife who rarely gives him sex, isn't submissive, nags, manipulates, and controls her husband "abusive?" Many would not, yet it is every bit as painful for a man to endure this from his wife as it is for a wife to endure a husband's involvement in porn or verbal abuse.

For some reason in this society, many husbands "abuse" their wives, yet extremely few women are ever accused of abusing their husbands. {Although, we are hearing about this more often these days.} If a wife was being physically abused by her husband, I would encourage her to call the authorities and get help immediately. However, I wouldn't advise her to do this if her husband were involved in porn or verbally abusive. I would encourage her to study I Peter 2 and 3 then go about winning her disobedient husband by her godly life and seek to have a meek and quiet spirit. She also needs to find an older, godly woman to encourage and strengthen her for the battle; it is a spiritual battle being waged in the heavens.

Some women I have mentored tell me they are being emotionally abused by their husbands. Yes, their husbands aren't treating them with kindness and love but when I dig deeper, I find MANY sins the wives are committing against their husbands, such as disrespect, scolding them, treating them as a child, always being angry and upset with them, etc.

I think we need to be careful about using the word "abuse" so we don't diminish what some women are enduring at the hands of their husbands. If your husband is verbally harsh with you, memorize all the verses having to do with this: a soft answer turns away wrath; overcome evil with good; love bears all things; hopes all things; endures all things, and many others similar to it. If he's an alcoholic or has some other physical addiction, find a godly, older women to mentor you, give you wisdom and hopefully guide you in a biblical way. If you are being physically abused by your husband, please read this post and get help quickly.

For even hereunto were ye called: 
because Christ also suffered for us, 
leaving us an example, 
that ye should follow his steps.
1 Peter 2:21