Friday, December 11, 2015

Love, Love, Love Motherhood

Many women don’t love motherhood. They feel trapped, exhausted and discontent. Every morning when they wake up, they dread the day before them and try to break free from the drudgery of motherhood by escaping into the Internet, shopping, having a career, or anything they can to get out of the work it takes to raise children.

However, it was great to hear from many of you last week who do everything you can to live simply so you can be home with your children and live within your husband's income. I was blessed by the comments on Living Without the Two Income/Daycare Frenzy. Many women garden, can and freeze their food; cut their family's hair; do without cable; shop secondhand stores; fix nourishing food for their family by scratch, and have found many ways to save money. What stood out to me with all these women is they are not lazy; they work hard so they can be home. If your greatest desire is to be home full-time with your children, please read all the comments and be inspired!

One of my favorite comments was from a mother with seven children: “I stay at home with seven children and counting and love, love, love it! I try every day to cook good meals on a small budget. It is a lot of work to be able to feed a large family without going overboard. Several years ago, I started making foods from scratch and shopping sales and really paying attention to processed food and what I was providing for my family. It has saved us so much money! My husband doesn’t make a lot but is happy when I have his lunch ready for him to take to work every morning. My homeschooled children cook with me every day and are healthy and satisfied. I freeze and can and do all that I can to make sure that we are doing the best with our food budget. My husband leaves every morning to make this money for us and I’m going do my best with it!"

What I loved so much about this comment is how much she cherishes the job that the Lord has blessed her with. Her husband doesn't make much money but she is willing to work hard to make ends meet and involves her children in the process. I imagine this is a joy-filled home since this mother LOVES motherhood so much. She is a wise woman who is building up her home. Her children and husband will rise up and call her blessed. 

Children don't need a lot of stuff. They need to learn to work hard. They need a mother that loves them and wants to raise them. There is nothing better than being nurtured in a home where the mother and father love each other deeply, the father labors to provide for the family and the mother works hard at home to make her home one of peace and joy. This is how we should all aspire to run our homes. If you are so addicted to the Internet that it affects your high calling of motherhood, get rid of your smart phone and even cable if your husband supports the idea. Do whatever it takes to get busy training, disciplining and raising your children to be joyful and hard workers who know their mother loves raising them.

There were so many of you that I could have chosen to send The Tightwad Gazette that it made it difficult to just choose one. I'm sure it is available at most libraries and is FULL of helpful hints to save money. I chose Heather since I know the importance of mothers being home full-time and raising their children. She wrote, "Instead of using sandwich bags for sandwiches, lunches and snacks, we use reusable containers. We take our lunch to work 90% of the time instead of going out to eat. I really want to be able to quit my job and stay home. Help me pray that my husband will see that this is how God wants it to be. Thank you" Plus, three other women wanted me to give it to her! So I will be sending Heather a book. Email me your address and continue to pray, Heather, that your husband will change his mind and let you stay home where you belong! Three women also responded to Heather's comment encouraging her so I wanted to share them with all those who want to come home!

Try showing him how you could make it on one income and show him YOU would be willing to sacrifice to be home, but do it with a joyful and happy attitude and be willing to accept his answer and let it go; don't nag him. {Happy Homemaker}

Hi Heather, I was in your place 26 years ago. It broke my heart to see other mothers with their children during the day while I left my five year old and baby. My husband thought we would starve if I quit work but he finally agreed. It cut our income by 40%! And we had significant credit card debt. I saw the article about Amy D. in Parade Magazine shortly after I quit work. I was appalled at some of the things she did- at first. Tension over money with my husband was very bad at first after I quit work. In desperation I subscribed to The Tightwad Gazette newsletter. It changed our lives! There is nothing too extreme in her books if your heart really wants to be with your children. It became my job to double every penny hubby made. We have raised three children on a middle-class salary. Two have graduated from college debt free {number three is a high school senior} and we are now millionaires. I don't say this to brag but to say it can be done. After I cut our income by 40% we had MORE money by cutting the leaks. If you don't win the book, buy it and learn so when you quit you can hit the ground running. Show your husband this if you want and I would be happy to answer any questions about my experience. {Angela} Angela, you should probably write a post for me!

Before you quit your job adjust your budget to live off of just your husband's income. Put your income into a savings or if you have debt put it toward paying it off. You will prove to yourselves you can live on the one income and get out of debt or create an emergency fund in the process. {Bonnie}

I also am giving a book to Rebecca. Here is her great comment: "Hi Lori! I would love to win! My husband helps me stay home by riding his bicycle or walking to work. He has done this since 2010. This way we only need to pay for gas, insurance and maintenance for one vehicle. Only having one vehicle helps us save money so I can stay home with our three children, which is very important to us. At times, the logistics and weather have been a hassle but my husband is so strong and manly! He actually likes to walk in the rain or snow here in the Midwest. It makes him feel like he is on a little adventure, especially since he works in an office. I am so proud of him. He just got offered a new job across town. We are in the process of packing up and moving our family. He wants to be closer to his new employer so he can continue to walk or ride to work. I am so proud of him!" Unfortunately, there are few men out there who would be willing to sacrifice in this way so their wives could stay home. {But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8} 

Many men enjoy the money their wives make more than having their children being raised by their own mother. I will NEVER understand this thinking; it is a result of feminism teaching women they are equal with men in every way. Rebecca, your husband is amazing; you are blessed! Email me your address as well.

Again, thank you all who left comments inspiring other women that maybe, just maybe, they can come home and raise their children too! Remember to love, love, love motherhood and praise the Lord daily for giving you this wonderful ministry to your family. It only takes an attitude and heart change to go from feeling that motherhood is drudgery to knowing that it is exactly where the Lord wants you and doing it with joy and thankfulness.

Lastly, I encourage you to read this post about 65 Pieces of Survival Wisdom From the Great Depression and find out how people were able to survive on very little. "There was virtually no sense of entitlement. Everyone knew they would only survive if they worked hard to do so." Oh, how far this great nation of ours has fallen from this mindset.

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished:
but he that gathers by labor shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

***The photo is of my friend Erin Harrison who stays home full-time working hard to homeschool and raise her five children, plus loving on her husband!