Thursday, December 10, 2015

My Husband Doesn't Understand Me!

Some comments I hear and get from young women shows me the reason God commands older women to teach young women. One woman wrote this in the chat room recently ~

When I am really sad and upset about something and crying, my husband doesn't really know how to handle it and doesn't comfort me. A couple days ago, I was crying about something and he was on his phone as I was crying sitting next to him {I wasn't sad about him; I was sad about something unrelated to him and venting to him about it}. I asked him why he does this and he told me has to detach so it doesn't bother him. This hurts my feelings.

I was the SAME way when I was younger!  Several other young women agreed with her and said their husbands were the same way. I responded to them, "You all must understand that your husband will probably NEVER fulfill your emotional needs and respond to you emotionally to you as you would like him to. They have a different make-up than us and handle things differently than us. If they can't fix something, they don't want to deal with it. The sooner you understand this and decide that it is okay, the more content you will be!"

One woman couldn't quite figure it out and questioned, "Lori, I have to admit this is hard for me to accept as a man thing in light of the exhortation in Romans 12:15 to weep with those who weep. Isn't it a sin not to be compassionate, whether you're male or female? "

I responded, "You are to read the Bible verses and apply them to yourself to make sure YOU are obeying them. You don't use them to judge or condemn your husband. We are only responsible for our own sins. They are responsible for theirs and we're not their Holy Spirit." 

Another young woman spoke about the emptiness she feels since her husband isn't emotional. I encouraged her, "God is the ONLY one that can fill our emptiness! Looking for anyone to fill it will only lead to frustration and discontentment. God made men the way they are because they are the protectors and providers who have to go out and 'slay dragons' for their families!"

You see, women, I was the same way in my younger years. I expected Ken to understand what I needed, comfort me in my emotional outbursts and fill my emptiness. I've been there and I know how wrong my thinking was back then. This is why it would have been great if an older woman had been in my life to set me straight and see the errors of my way. Younger women learn from older women's mistakes and successes, thus having to avoid the mistakes and succeed in the successes!

The day we had this discussion, I shared this poster in the chat room ~

God made us different! Instead of bemoaning the differences, appreciate the differences and learn to be content and even happy with the way God created your husband. You both have a different role to fulfill and God created you perfectly to fulfill your roles. Rejoice in your role and praise the Lord that He made your husband different!

Male and female created he them; 
and blessed them.
Genesis 5:2

And Adam called his wife's name Eve; 
because she was the mother of all living.
Genesis 3:20