Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Admire His Masculinity


The second secret to having a husband that adores you is to admire his masculine qualities.  I have to admit that I am not very good at this but it is never too late to change. {I write this blog for me as much as I do for you.}

A husband's greatest need is to be admired.  In Genesis 3:16, God told Eve that "he {the husband} shall rule over you."  A man wants to be the leader.  God designed him that way.  This is why women are to be in submission and the man is the head of the home.

This is a good thing.  This strong, God-given pride is what drives men to want to lead, and to protect, and to provide for women.  When we try to manipulate and control them, they erect an invisible wall around themselves to protect themselves.

On Page 48 of The Secrets Of Fascinating Womanhood, she gives a list of ways women hurt men and their pride.  Some of them are ~

Sharp or angry tone

Compare him to other men

Criticize his weaknesses

Pouring cold water on his ideas

Giving him advice when not asked

Reminding him how you struggle on his income

Not praising him when he does something well


Only long term acceptance and admiration will restore him to normal.  So praise and admire him...his muscles, his strength, how hard he works, what a good provider he is, etc.

I use to think if I praised Ken, he would get a big head.  I thought his ego was big enough already.  But I was the person he wanted praise from the most.  The world beats our husbands down.  Just by accepting him as he is has gone a long way to building up his ego and happiness!

Finally, learn to be sincere as you build him up with words.  He will know when you don't mean what you are saying.

Let the wife see that she respects her husband. 
Ephesians 5:33

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

Comments (7)

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Great advise! My SIL and I were talking a while back regarding commercials and how they make men look like idiots. There was one where the wife was showing a friend her new blinds and didn't even notice her husband was outside blowing up the grill. There are so many ads like that. What does that make children feel about the adult males in their lives and how do girls especially feel? That their dad can't do anything right and neither will her husband when she gets married?!! Very sad.
Thank you again,
Deborah
My hubby and I used to think it was completely ok to flirt and let others find us attractive...in fact, I knew that he found me attractive, but wanted others to think so...I figured it was like a 'conformation' that I could still be found attractive. I mean, he's my hubby so he's required to be attracted to me, right? He even somewhat got 'puffed up' if someone looked at me, like 'Yah, she's cute...but she's mine' type of thing.

Anyway, I was convicted of this over the last year. I no longer flirt or care if others are looking. I won't wear sports jerseys with another man's name on them (I really wanted a Verlander one, but decided that it felt like a slap in the face to my hubby to wear another man's name on my back). I don't comment on actors or other men that are 'hot'. My hubby says that he doesn't care and it doesn't effect him, we completely trust eachother, but no good can come of looking at others, so why draw attention to them? I wasn't really lusting after them, just commenting on their appearance, but not anymore.

I feel much closer to my hubby when I am searching parts of him to comment on than by drooling over unattainable people on tv.

great post!!!
I totally agree with you, Lori. I find that my husband is actually more sensitive and tender towards me when I praise him regularly in any number of things- his parenting, his muscles, his job, his faith. He seems to be more open, more motivated to change if I'm not constantly trying to see the bad in him, but the good. (Love your blog! Wish you lived next door, 'cause I think I'd be at your house everyday trying to soak up your wisdom!)
Such good advice! Always treat your husby with love and respect. Thank him. Encourage him. I feel very deeply about this. Thank you for the reminder!
Wise words, and ones that we would do well to remember. THank you for the reminder to honor our husbands with what we say AND what we don't say :)
We definitely need to lift up our husbands, not only in their presence, but behind their backs. When we speak well about him to others, it eventually comes back to him as a good reputation.
I just have to say that my husband is dead sexy, intelligent, funny, understanding, kind, loving, and hard working. I would have to work to put him down.

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