This is the advice Ken gives to our married children concerning having children. I was pondering this when a woman wrote a post about her honeymoon baby in response to my post on Ryan and Erin's honeymoon baby.
In her post she said how happy she was that she had children early, because she became unable to have children in her 30's, I think because of illness. This is exactly what happened to me!
I had four children in five and one half years. Cassi, my baby, was born when I was only 30 years old. I became very ill after that for 20 years. We wanted more children, even four more, but I was too sick. I remember thinking how blessed I was to have the four children I had since I couldn't have anymore.
I think women today take their fertility and having babies for granted. They think they can have them any time they want and when they want. Usually, they pursue a career, travel, etc. before settling down and getting married. Then they discover they can't get pregnant.
Now if you are doing it in God's timing...waiting for the husband God has chosen and still are unable to conceive, you just have to trust God knowing that He is in control and works out everything for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. {The key being "love Him and called according to His purpose"...meaning He is Lord of your life and you walk in obedience to Him}.
When we do things our way, they usually don't turn out so good. God's ways are good. He knows what He is doing.
One woman I know got married young and didn't believe in birth control. Her husband had a rare disease which causes tumors all over his body and they usually die young. They had five precious children right in a row. The father died at 27 years old. Were they irresponsible?
Even though the father had that disease, he had a wonderful wife and enjoyed every moment he had with his children. His short life was rich and full. God will take care of his wife. He promises to take care of widows and orphans, mostly through His people.
I know the mother is so happy she had the children God blessed her with. They bring much joy into her life. God smiles upon pregnancy and babies. He is our provider. He knit us in our mother's womb. Celebrate life! Celebrate God who is the giver of every precious life!
Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed.
Psalm 127:5
P.S. The picture above is of my whole family celebrating my mom's 80 birthday! Baby Emma is in Erin's tummy. :)
Whitney · 699 weeks ago
Gretchen · 699 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 699 weeks ago
I have been pondering your question and will get a post out about it within the next week. I completely believe in submission to your husband and that wives win their husbands without a word so I will let you know more of my thoughts soon.
Love,
Lori
Jessica · 699 weeks ago
feminineadventures 1p · 699 weeks ago
I did, but realized that children are not something to be taken for granted!
(Found your post on Gratituesday!)
Chris W. · 699 weeks ago
Natalee · 699 weeks ago
We have to be careful to continue to respect our husbands decisions on this though.
The Lord has blessed my husband and I with 3 beautiful children and I would have had 10 more!
We became pregnant before we were married. We were both a year out of high school and still living at home. We did not go to college. We were married shortly after we found out we were going to have our first little baby. Lots of mixed emotions, but so thankful for God's mercy and grace!
After our second child, i prayed and prayed for another until finally my husband said that "if it happens it happens" instead of "preventing" it.
We got pregnant shortly after and i still wanted more but he was pretty determined to have a vasectomy. I resisted at first but eventually accepted that just because I wanted more didn't mean that he had to feel the same. I respected his decision and he went ahead with the procedure with my blessing.
However. Looking back I can see things that I may have done differently if I had had the wisdom. Sometimes I feel the reason he didn't want anymore children was because of my lack of being able to handle alot of the stress that comes with raising small children.
He was in a way "protecting" me from getting myself in over my head. Also, many times I felt that the "idea" of having a large family was more romantic and idealistic for me instead of actually putting myself in the "reality" of it. Also, men have a huge need to provide for their families and women (not all the time) can just look at it and say " oh, honey the Lord will provide" instead of understanding his fear of not being able to provide. Don't misunderstand, the Lord most definately will provide, but as wives we need to be sensitive to their needs while at the same time praying for a change of heart for our husbands. Also, could I have made more of an effort to be more frugal and diligent with our finances so that my husband would see that the pantry was full and dinner was available every night even if it meant a simple dinner? That having another child might make things a little tighter but because of my organization and discipline, he could trust me with handling it? I have asked myself those questions and at times regretted him having the surgery, but I have to trust that by honoring my husbands wishes, that God knows what is best for us. Maybe having more children for me would have been much more than i had thought. Who knows, but my husband and I have a wonderful marriage and I love him so so much regardless of whether or not "MY" plans for a large family were fullfilled or not. I am thankful for the three that we have been blessed with and I would not trade starting a family at 19 for anything!
We are 38 now!
I would have focused more on spoiling my husband more and nagging less. I would have showered him with affection and not always let our children take all of my focus and shown him that having more children wouldnt have left him out but only added to the love we already had instead of taking away from it. More children = less intimacy for alot of men and we need to be responsible and mature to respect our husbands in this way. This is all hindsight of course but it is what it is. This is just a few things that "I" would have done differently. Not necessarily what every woman could do. Maintain a sweet spirit as well:)
Blessings,
Natalee
Lori Alexander 122p · 699 weeks ago
Sarah Jane · 699 weeks ago
In the circle I run with, it's the wives who are hesitant to have children and don't want anymore. I'm not sure if it's because I went to a college where most women have a career before having children. I was talking to my brother recently, and he told me my SIL loves children, but doesn't want them because it means sleepless nights, losing her body (she's skinny and doesn't want to get fat), uncertainty re. finances (she's the "breadwinner" of the family), etc. This saddens me. Yes, my husband and I have dealt with these issues (especially the uncertainty), but God has used it to bring us together to pray more and to trust in Him more. Yes, I have had many sleepless nights, but I LOVE my job as a SAHM. Children are a blessing, not a cute inconvenience.
Sarah Jane · 699 weeks ago
Caroline Cordle · 699 weeks ago
Anyway, I am 33 and am expecting my 7th. God has blessed us so richly, but as we say every time, we take nothing for granted, I have a friend who had a child every year for 12 years - she had her 12th at 37 and presumed her fertility would carry on into her 40's, as most peoples does. She never had any more! Whereas my SIL didn't get married until she was 34, and didn't have her first baby for 2 years, but then God gave her 4 in a row, quite quickly, her most recent at 42, this year!
God knows us better than we know ourselves. He is our provider, and I have proved that over and over! Children are a blessing, and you would never reach the end of child-bearing and say "well, I wish I hadn't had number 5 and 6" for example!
I know may men are fearful, but not trusting God to provide is never a good reason to say "no" to children! That is lack of trust on their part (although I do believe we should submit, whilst also meekly putting across our point of view...especially if they want us to use harmful BC such as the pill, the coil etc). We need to pray for husbands such as that, and pray that the words of titus would be true, and that women would win their husbands by being meek and quiet about such things.
Thanks for sharing, Lori! (I foud you through WLWW! :-) )
Guest · 699 weeks ago
Donna Edmunds · 699 weeks ago
breana · 699 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 699 weeks ago
I can just tell you that they grow up very quickly and they are our greatest joys in life. God does give you the strength needed for each day so you take one day at a time and rest in Him. SO my advice would be, "Go for it!" ;)
Taryn · 699 weeks ago
Brittany · 699 weeks ago
Heather · 699 weeks ago
Jacki M. · 699 weeks ago
Cute story...both of our girls were born the exact same size... 7lbs 9oz and 19.5 inches. God gave me a mold huh?
God Bless Ya!
lullabymom · 699 weeks ago
pippajo 23p · 699 weeks ago
My husband and I actually had four children in 6 years (all before we were 30), but lost two of them in early infancy. Ironically enough, they were the two we "planned." The two we still have (now 16 and 10) are the ones we would not have had if it had been up to us, fools that we were. I do not suggest that God intentionally took the ones we planned as punishment! But I do know that our family is exactly as God Himself has planned it since the beginning of time. And as I have since become unable to have more children (barring a divine intervention), I am thankful each and every day that God is sovereign and saw fit to bless me with the family I have, small though it may be. God has taught me, through my sufferings and blessings, that He is indeed in control and is trustworthy. I love that verse you mentioned above: God...works out everything for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose! It's one of my favorites! And I've come to understand that the good He promises us is not health, comfort, safety or happiness. It's becoming more like Him through any measures He sees fit to take.
Thank you for a thought-provoking post. I found it to be encouraging.
Lauren · 699 weeks ago
Lauren
Ruby Godfrey · 699 weeks ago
The Abundant Wife · 698 weeks ago
CrysHouse · 697 weeks ago