Her husband is afraid if she does what Debi Pearl teaches, she will become a Stepford Wife {the kind that is a perfect wife with no emotion or feelings}.
She worries that if she does what Debi Pearl teaches, it may not be genuine.
No worries...she will never be perfect! She will blow it occasionally...a lot at first probably, but as she practices loving, serving, and pleasing her husband, it will get easier. It is retraining yourself and your habits.
She will be renewing her mind with God's truth. She will still have her personality and opinions. She just won't have to always be right and she will stop arguing with him. How can a husband not love a wife that wants to please him and serve him? He probably has never experienced that, so it may scare him. I am sure he will change his mind as he falls madly in love with his wife.
On the matter of her actions being genuine, I don't think she needs to concern herself with that. If we always acted upon our feelings, we would be a mess. Our actions need to dictate our feelings, not our feelings dictating our actions. Continue doing what is right and most likely feelings will follow.
She has a teachable spirit. She is ready to do it right. She is open to learn. I predict she will have a great marriage someday. A teachable spirit that wants to obey God is a powerful tool God can use to accomplish His will.
May God bless her abundantly as she learns to love, please, and serve her husband.
And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another...
I Thessalonians 3:12
Logging you in...
Emily · 702 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 702 weeks ago
Emily · 702 weeks ago
Aaron · 702 weeks ago
If you follow the teachings of Debi Pearl and it makes you happy, great. Just know that not every Christian man wants a submissive wife.
Thank you,
Aaron (Amy’s husband)
Lori Alexander 122p · 702 weeks ago
Blessings,
Lori
Ken · 702 weeks ago
Submission has a negative connotation, especially in our society, but the HS chose the word precisely because this is exactly how ALL believers are to act towards one another, following the model that Christ set for us. Jesus was completely submissive to the will of the Father, yet he never lost His equality with Him. Is that not the model for marriage? And what does God do, He takes His submissive Son and exults Him "above all things" just as we should do with our wives to "treat them as more important than we are."
You and your wife sound to me like you have a great marriage because you are loving her the way she needs and she is honoring you the way you need. Many women are not feeling that sense of love and acceptance you are giving so they fight for it in all the wrong ways. The result is that many men feel dishonored and like they can never please their gal. When that happens, it turns into a vicious cycle of negativity.
Submission is the command of the scriptures for wives, but a good husband has no problem with his wife challenging him, and rarely if ever does he demand submission. Actually we want the challenge when she feels strongly that we are wrong and most of the time we go her way. She makes most of the decisions about the house, the kids, when and where we go out, and participates in most or all of the other decisions. The leader lays down his life for his wife.
Love and submission looks exactly what you are describing in your marriage. Now what happens when your wife decide she wants to be in control, get bossy and demanding, start nagging you or just think she is right all the time and you are wrong. Then tell me if you don't want a submissive wife, and yet I know you would love her anyway, just as I loved my wife for 22 years before she discovered what it means to be submissive.
I want Lori to be her full personality, and sometimes she gets back into her old ways, which is fine for a time. Then when I feel like it is going too far I simply say with a smile, "You know you have been arguing a lot lately," and her eyes get great big and she throws out her hand to shake mine and says, "It will never happen again!" I know it will happen again, and I do not mind a little of it, but it sure is fun to know that Lori is trying to please me, just as I am trying to love her just the way she needs to be loved... including allowing Lori to be Lori, not a Stepford wife.
Aaron · 700 weeks ago
Ken · 700 weeks ago
Your woman minister, no matter how great she may be, is not obeying the scriptures when she teaches in the church. Your professors are not disobeying the scriptures in that they are not teaching in the church. Woman can be fantastic speakers, often better than men, and many men would give up their role of leader if the woman wants to do it instead, but that goes contrary to God’s desire and command. How it affects her overall life and her marriage will most likely be the proof that she was never intended to speak to men in the church. The burden of this responsibility will have its undesired consequences, many of which you and others will never see.
To do things God’s way even when we disagree is to acknowledge that the Creator has a better plan than we do. We are caught up in our culture and in our own desires, and that is why our compass cannot be set by your woman minister, no matter how wonderful she may be. Instead we say to God that we are willing to believe ALL of His Word, in the context and as He intended, and we study His Word to find out the context and what God wanted to say to all believers. If not, we set ourselves up as god, deciding that what I “think” the scripture says is how I will live, and then go about making up our own gospel, “because God could not have really meant what He said.”
Yes, to ask a wife to be submissive to her husband is not something our society wants to hear, but it does say this command in more than one place in the scriptures. Ignore it, say it is not to be taken literally, do with it as you wish, that is your call. But to say it is not a clear command is to do an injustice to God’s Word and leaves you deciding on your own what is truth and what is not truth instead of letting God decide what is truth.
I hope that you are submissive to your wife in many areas of your life. We are told to “submit to one another,” and yet, when push comes to shove, when a married couple cannot decide an issue, or a direction to go, does it not make a great deal of sense that God appoints a leader in the family to have the final say, instead of that issue festering over and over again and creating a rift in your relationship? Hear me out… Your role is to “love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave up his life for her.” Is that not to be taken literally and I am to be the first one out of the house when it is burning to the ground and just hope she can make it out on her own? No, you have the bigger responsibility to love her and adore her and treat her with respect, and when you disagree and it affects the family negatively, you are to step up and be the leader God has appointed and break the tie. Trust me, it will happen very few times in your married life, but when it does happen that you cannot agree… both of you will be very happy that God casts the deciding vote with the husband. Even when the husband screws up the decision, God will honor the family and work all things out for His good. But do not expect to participate in God’s promises in the same way if you are unwilling to do things God’s way. God’s promises are fulfilled in our lives as we walk in His truths.
Tell your wife that she is to be submissive to you, and then tell her that even when she is not, you will love, cherish and adore her as Christ loves the church. Then as each of you walks in God’s ways you can look to His promises filling up your marriage and your lives in a special way that does not come to those who walk outside of God’s clear commands. It does not mean you cannot have a great marriage if she is not submissive, it just means you do not get to participate in all that God desires for your lives, even those things that are hard to comprehend because we cannot see or understand why He would ask the smarter, sharper, better looking and better behaved spouse to be submissive to her husband.
Rightthinker · 702 weeks ago
Very few seem to understand submission in marriage. It's definition and understanding has been warped severely by feminist influence.
It's the most liberating situation to embrace our God-given roles. It's freedom.
Sara · 702 weeks ago
Does this make me a bad wife and mother?
Lori Alexander 122p · 702 weeks ago
No, it does not make you a bad wife and mother. Scripture teaches the older women are to train the younger women to be "keepers at home"...and to "guide the home". Debi Pearl never says you are a bad wife or mother if you have to work outside the home in submission to your husband but God's ideal is for the wife to spend most of her time at home. She needs to have the energy to take care of her home, children, and mostly, her husband. As long as she can do that, I think it is fine if a woman works out of the home. But NOTHING is worth destroying a marriage over...So we need to leave all the decisions about wives working outside of the home between the individual wives and husbands and allow the Lord to lead them.
Thank you for all your sweet comments! I really appreciate them.
Love,
Lori
lisa · 701 weeks ago
I love the Debi Pearl, and many of my friends that have read it tell me that the <Lord used that book to save their marriage. So amen, sista! :)
Blessings,
Lisa
pamela · 698 weeks ago
Carrie · 602 weeks ago