Friday, December 9, 2011

Your Standard Of Beauty


Your spouse, the one you married, should be your standard of beauty. {Mark Driscoll}. If he is bald, you like bald. If he slouches, you like men that slouch. If he has a beard, you like beards. If he is short, you like short men.  When he is old and wrinkled, you like old and wrinkled men!

The same should be for you, men. If your wife has wide hips, you like wide hips. If she is chubby, you like chubby women. If she has frizzy hair, you like frizzy hair. When she starts getting age spots and gray hair, you like age spots and gray hair.  Don't let what television and pornography define your standard of beauty.

This is why pornography, sex before marriage, and even television have hurt marriages. They all set up impossible standards of beauty, comparison shopping, and discontentment with who you have married. The Bible commands men to flee the evil desires of youth {II Timothy 2:22}, because they will hurt your future marriage.

Romance novels and television also set up unrealistic expectations for women towards future husbands. Real men can't live up to them. Your only expectation of your future husband should be that he walk with Jesus. You want a man who will be a spiritual leader and that you worship Jesus together. If you have that, the chances of having a happy marriage are very high.

Proverbs says that men should rejoice with the wife of your youth {Proverbs 5:18}. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun.  Have only eyes for each other.  Let them be your ONLY standard of beauty.

Comments (18)

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So true. Part of finding beauty is learning to be content with who God has given us and not comparing to what we see in the world.
Thanks...you are so right. Let me tell you about my husband...when we got married I was 25 and a size 4. I stayed that way for many, years. I have gained weight...all the excuses stress, stopped smoking, had a baby etc. I have gained over 50 lbs, have gray hair and wrinkles now. I had 3 surgeries in 16 months (so you can imagine what my stomach looks like) and he was my rock. I even had a colostomy for 8 months and he never batted an eye. He still did his best to make me feel desirable. I makes me strive every day to reward him by trying to be the very best wife, friend lover I can be. By the way, we have been married 26 years.
1 reply · active 694 weeks ago
This is a great testimony of what the Lord has done in your marriage! Praise the Lord!
AMEN! Thank you...again and again!
Your words are truly a gift from Him!
Kelly
I agree, thanks for this post! It's really too bad that my now ex- husband didn't believe this same thing. I am glad that I found this site, but were you aware what the word feminist means, it is really misleading. I look forward to reading your blog regularly, Lori.
Such a good post, Lori! Let's look at our spouse's physical appearance with the utmost of affection and respect. ( Even if it's not that beautiful in the eyes of the world.) Always enjoy "Always Learning!"
That's just a strange idea.

My husband is sallow, scrawny, and plagued with both acne and acne scars. There are lots of men more 'beautiful' than him. He's still my favourite person in the whole world and a inordiantely fine example of the very best of men.

I don't "like" scrawny, sallow, poxy men. I just like him. I like him lot!

(I am in no way discontent to find myself happily married to a man who fills my life with far more important things than a silly value like manly 'beauty'.)

Oh, and another thing I don't particularly value is leadership ability in a husband.

I guess we just have different spouse-criteria... which is a good thing... or all of us women would have been looking for the same man, and the rest of God's other wonderful male creations would have gone without! My husband is a rare and wonderful man and I'm glad I had the wisdom to fall for him, acne and all.
I love watching interviews of elderly couples discussing why their marriage has lasted so long and as they talk they gaze at each other with such affection as if they were first in love. It is a rare sight.

PS I am not fond of beards and when my husband grew a beard I still remained very un-fond of it and was very pleased when he removed it.
Wise words to live by. Thanks for posting them. Maybe other will live by them.~Ames
I love your posts!
I met my husband in college (dated)..he was slim. We broke up and reunited five years later...he was much larger (chubby)....yet that is when I said "I Do" because no matter how he looked, I loved him!
So true. So true. Nonetheless, I still find myself amazed sometimes that my hubs really does live by this! It's awesome!
Very true, hubby and I met when we were both 21, and he was already starting to lose his hair the poor guy. 4 years later, our 2 girls are helping him lose it faster and I wouldn't have it any other way. <3
Just came over from Heavenly Homemakers. I love how my husband has changed and the ways he's stayed the same. I think he's better looking then when we married. :) Love the post!
sad enough to die's avatar

sad enough to die · 689 weeks ago

my husband said God hard wired him to be most sexually attracted to a certain type (tall, thinner body, enormous breasts). i am short, obese, and have smaller breasts. i am stuck in a marriage where i don't know how i could ever feel wanted or truly desirable to my own husband. he says he desires me because i am his wife. that i am beautiful as his wife. but he admits he'd be just fine having sex only looking at my back. he is not like the vast majority of men on their way to hell who look at porn. he thinks since he is not looking at his type or trying to be tempted by his type- that i should be able to get over this, that i should just be happy he loves me and chose me instead.. i dont know how to ever feel wanted and desired by husband. i know earthly appearance isnt supposed to matter from a spiritual perspective.. but let's be real. some things turn us on, others do not. nothing that i am is pleasing. i feel like i have no hope, and i definitely despair. if i got a bariatric surgery, i dont have money to remove all the resulting sagging deformed skin.. even if i had the money- i am literally stretchmarked ALL OVER- breasts, arms, every inch of my midriff and stomach, even going into my pubic area, around my hips, and on my bottom. there is no hope for my body and i can never be his type. how am i supposed to feel like being intimate with him when im not his type i cant ever be?
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Can you please send me your email? I would like to respond to you privately. Thank you, Lori
Beauty lies in the eye of observer. Isn't it so??
This article is so beautiful and fully loaded with truth.. I shed tears as I read it. Way before I found this blog, my husband gave me a birthday card and he stick the inside of the card with the picture above (the kissing couple from the 'Up' animated movie). Seeing this picture again remind me how I want to have a loving marriage to my husband til the day I die. Therefore with God's help, I must do what I can to fiercely protect our marriage. Thank you for this article, Lori.

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