Some of you think that since I encourage women to stick with husbands that are involved with pornography, I think pornography is okay. You are absolutely wrong. I detest it and what it has done to our society and families.
Ken responded to that charge last night on this post so I thought I would make it available for you all to read. I thought it was very good!
I think some who are commenting here have missed the point of this post. Certainly the man over states his position, but Lori's point is that pornography and other male sins are not grounds for divorce, yet many women use the husband's sins as the excuse to run from a God ordained union of marriage.
Sure sin destroys things, but God can take what was intended as evil and turn it into true bonding and intimacy in a marriage when the godly spouse is willing to live out His Word and His ways. Yes, it is hard to live with a man who is difficult, or into pornography, but that does not absolve the offended and harmed spouse from maintaining the bonds of marriage.
The scriptures are clear that only adultery is grounds for divorce, and it is referring to the actual physical act, not emotional or mental adultery. So yes, a marriage dies because of sin, but it is often the unfaithfulness of both parties that finally kills it.
Is there just one spouse of the two who will stand for God even through difficult times in the marriage and claim God's promises? This is Lori's message to women..., to do God's ways, even in trying times. Because God honors those who honor Him, and a double honor is due to those of you wives who stick with your man not because he deserves it, but because Jesus is honored by your selfless sacrifices to keep the bonds of your God ordained marriage together.
All I have to say to that is "Amen! Preach it hubby!" I am sure glad he stuck it out with me for 23 years of manipulation, anger, lack of respect, and trying to control him...
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. {Genesis 2:24} What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. {Mark 10:9}
Logging you in...
WEA · 695 weeks ago
All that to say, thanks for the clarification that you do agree porn is a huge, huge problem.
WEA · 695 weeks ago
tbg · 692 weeks ago
Anonymous · 695 weeks ago
Why is pornography a 'male sin'? I've known several women who are, at least, occasional viewers. Would you say it's a generational shift (I believe I'm from what they're calling millenial generation)?
Ken · 695 weeks ago
Lori's posts are short and to the point... so some clumping of offenses may happen. I am sorry to hear about the destruction porn has caused to you and your marriage, but Lori's point in the original post was to say that too many women are running from marriage and using every excuse in the books, especially their husband's sins... or perceived sins.
Ken · 695 weeks ago
Pornography is a male sin because 90%+ of the participants in the sin are male. More women are getting involved, but the degree of of sin and addiction is so much greater with men than with women.
The temptation is usually much stronger for men as men have 90% more testosterone running through their veins... which makes them more likely to think and dwell upon sex so much more than a woman does. It is a man's battle, but some women have this battle too, and unfortunantly to the same degree as some of the worst male porn addicts.
Praise God there is hope for all addictions... and God's Spirit and Word is the answer to porn.
kay · 695 weeks ago
Ken · 695 weeks ago
What kind of church are you going to that your pastor watches pornography and is preaching? I am not saying it does not happen, but if you know it is happening you must confront him with your husband and then take it to the elders.
This family is not lax on porn in any way, but I would not disqualify every preacher who has looked at porn at some point in their life. To do that would mean few if any pastors left. It is a sin and it harms the man and his wife and family, but so is nagging, withholding sex in a marriage and a laundry list of bad attitudes. These too are very destructive sins.
As for alcohol, we try to be true to the scriptures, and the drinking of wine is clearly not forbidden. Drunkeness is clearly sin. A glass of wine is far from the appearance of evil to unbelievers, so why is it that it is the believers who put the yoke of bondage on our freedoms in Christ? There are times it may be inappropriate to drink even a glass of wine, but to eat a nice fish dinner with my wife with a glass of wine is far from sinning.
Can we as Christian's not learn to handle, taste and touch all that God has given without putting a yoke upon others? Col. 2:16.
Julia · 695 weeks ago
Ken · 695 weeks ago
As for your son, you have every right to insist he keep the garbage out of the house and you can ask him regularly how he is doing in that area of his life.
Light is a great disinfectant. So keep bringing it into the light as best you can while showing as much love for the sinners as you can. Also, see if your men will memorize scriptures that speak clearly against fornication and all uncleanness.
I pray God will work miracles in your family's life!
kay · 695 weeks ago
We have excused waaaay too many sins in trying to make all things "legal" and are fast becoming carnal and worldly Christians. Yes, you may love the Lord and belong to Him, but dabbling in sinful and progressive habits such as drinking alcohol and watching porn are NOT going to be a good testimony to your family. Example would be the dear lady who wrote that now she has found her son using porn! Why can't men be true and honest so that their wives can safely trust in them? God never intended for us to partake in worldly sins and just a little ALWAYS demands more and more in the future.
God help the women who live with these men!!! We wives need an example and someone to look up to, guide us and protect us from the world, not a man who wants to bring the world into our homes!
Taryn · 695 weeks ago
Taryn · 695 weeks ago
Ken · 695 weeks ago
sarah · 695 weeks ago
Ken · 695 weeks ago
I do believe there are degrees of sin with some more harmful and heinous than others. Fornication is one of those more heinous sins, but as with most sins, there are degrees of sin even within pornography. Some may want to disqualify the preacher for going to an R rated movie and seeing some flesh. Lori would probably be one of those who could not sit under a pastor who goes to R rated movies. But there is a big difference between your extreme example of a pastor watching porn with his wife, and my belief that a pastor who is struggling with this temptation and sin is not automatically disqualified from preaching or teaching.
If we wait for our ministers to be "blameless" at all times in their lives, we set up an realistic standard that few if any ministers can meet. But perhaps you are right... it might be better to disqualify all who are struggling with any sin from preaching... and simply allow the men who are walking in the Spirit that week to preach that Sunday. You might get a different preacher each week! Less talent and knowledge and more Spirit filled may be exactly what the church is missing today.
Erica · 695 weeks ago
I believe the Holy Spirit convicts each person differently. Meaning what feels wrong in your heart doesn't feel wrong in mine & vice versa. But man, is it a touchy subject. I do like that Ken is standing up for you & your family. Way to go Ken!!
That being said, I know what its like to live with a spouse addicted to pornography. Its difficult, trying & depressive. Unfortunately, I used it as a reason to leave.
Since then the Lord has convicted my heart & with the help of Fascinating Womanhood I'm on the road to winning him back!
What I've learned from these posts is what Matthew 7:5 says "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of think own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's (spouse) eye."
CynthiaJSwenson · 694 weeks ago