Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ladies In Waiting



How you described Erin is pretty much me all the way. I know what you are saying is true, yet still what I know and what I experience don't seem to line up. To me it always feels as if the guy I am interested in overlooks me because I am quiet and soft spoken, not bold, loud, full of energy, bubbly, etc... I am just struggling on how to put that into perspective I guess. Would you have any wisdom for me?


This was one young woman's question to me after reading Femininity Delights A Man.  She is a beautiful, young woman that is waiting patiently for the spouse God has created just for her. I encouraged her to be very friendly to a man that she is interested in.  Ask him questions.  Look into his eyes.  Smile a lot and laugh at his jokes.  Show him you are interested. 

I asked Erin what advice she would give and this was her response ~

I am a quiet, reserved individual by nature, but when I'm in the presence of my Jesus, I am jubilant and bubbly and I dance and do silly things and hug my best friends and want everyone to be happy and as loved as I feel.  {pretty}

Ryan makes me feel that way, too, because he has dedicated his life to being like Christ, so Jesus is very present in his life. My advice would be this: be free and generous with the joy God gives you and the right guy will not overlook you when the time is right. {happy}

If you have to pull a Ruth and be like, "Hey, handsome, I happen to have these tickets to a concert to your favorite band (which I may or may not have found via your Facebook page...) and I can't find anyone else to go with me (which was actually true in my case), wanna go?" Flash that gorgeous smile and put the rest in God's hands. {funny}

I think letting a guy know you are interested in him is okay.  Men have egos and usually won't put themselves on the line, unless they know the girl is attracted to him.  Yes, we should be gentle and quiet in spirit, but that doesn't mean we can't be joyful, warm, happy, and friendly, especially to a young man that appears to have what we're looking for! {real}

Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:19

For the joy of the Lord is your strength
Nehemiah 8:10

Comments (10)

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What a helpful post this is for any young woman who is "waiting" to see God's will revealed in her life. You have a lovely website! Blessings!
I couldn't agree more and I am so glad you took the time to share this perspective. I've had this conversation regularly with the girls I mentor. Way to go!

Blessings,
Lisa
www.moretobe.com
I would have to completely agree. I absolutely can understand the young woman's plight of knowing there is purpose and goodness to things but also feeling a bit overlooked because of those qualities. I am naturally just a quiet and "sweet" kind of person. I'm certainly not one to ever draw attention to myself. That's just not how the Lord created my personality. I thought it hopeless to ever attract a guy and made plans for a career. Then, I met my husband. Rather, he met me. He pursued me for a year before we officially dated (we kept meetings in groups settings and built a friendship during this time). He saw ME admist all the noise of everyone else around. I never had to flirt or put on an act contrary to my personality to capture his attention. The most 'sweep me off my feet' part of it all is that he noticed and enjoyed me for me. Interestingly, he's also a bit on the shy side as well and so we have a great recognition and appreciation for each other's less loud/bold personalities. In focusing on the personalities that seem to get the attention, it's often easy to miss the softer one that's noticing yours. :)
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
What a beautiful love story, Whitney! Thank you for sharing.
This will be a great help to many young women. I am a new follower visiting from Milk and Cuddles. Vicky from <a href=
"http://www.messforless.net">Mess For Less
Lori, thank you for sharing. In our church there are mostly home schooled families and we don't have teen church or youth group. Family-integrated mainly. Everyone is dating-minded. It is neat to see all the young people be like sisters and brothers together and include the little children and the parents. It is like the Ephesians 5:19 scripture to some degree...not perfect, but appropriate. I haven't gotten to the link-ups yet; I hope you added this post. would you consider doing it weekly? I appreciate your thoughts so much!
This was a very nice post. I am also an introvert, and I know the feeling! First, don't let anyone convince you that being an introvert is a character flaw that needs to be changed. Be exactly who God made you to be! My husband is actually an extrovert, but he really appreciates the calmness and insight I give to our relationship. He was drawn to my quiet, reserved nature because he knew that I am a thinker with a lot of depth of character. We are a perfect match for each other!
Lori, I just realized I made a faux-pas in my earlier comment. I said our church was dating-minded; actually, we are courtship minded!!! One thing I should have addressed is that being really friendly may be misconstrued as (or really be) flirting in disguise. Everyone knows a flirt~ both guys and girls. It is a young woman with discretion who can be friendly with everyone, but never single out the 2 or 3 she 'likes best' to give her attentions to. It is always appropriate. it is part of the problem with our feminist society when a woman is the pursuer. I've been there, sadly. In a courtship as I envision it, the young man is lead of the Lord, not the girl who is friendly. A way better outcome in my mind.
I have an outgoing, talkative and crazy-happy personality - many guys were drawn to that and asked me out/told me they "KNEW" I was the girl they would marry. My husband is a quieter person, and while I never went out of my way to be friendly to him, the way he tells it on one occasion long before I ever even noticed him he heard God say "turn and LOOK." (This was after several bad relationships and finally he had completely surrendered that area of his life to God and prayed "if You have someone for me, please point her out") Several months went by, then at a prayer service he says God told him "turn and LOOK." So he turned around... and laid eyes on me for the first time. He started asking people everything they knew of me (unbeknownst to me!) and finally several months later felt he had observed me sufficiently that he initiated a friendship and a few months later - MARRIAGE! We are seriously so blessed and so happy together... take heart girls, quiet or loud, it is entirely possible that your life partner is under God's guidance observing you with the intent of marrying you, and you have NO IDEA YET.
Thanks for joining! I think so few people today realize that you must search diligently for a good person to be your life-long soul mate. And be a good person yourself. What a blessing it would be to the world if more people had this idea...
Merry Christmas!

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