Selfish people are the unhappiest people on the face of the earth. They suppose that joy is found in owning things and getting their way, yes they are deceived and do not know the truth. Real life is not about what we own, but what we give.
I mentor many women. Those who refuse to love their husbands can't be helped. They see their husbands as being the sole problem in their marriage. Yes, maybe he isn't a great husband but you are still commanded by God to love him. If you continue to not love your husband, you will never be happy.
The reason they don't want to love their husband is selfishness. They want to cling to their rights and how they feel they should be treated. They only have their eyes on themselves instead of on God. The best thing they could do was to forget about themselves and their feelings and focus upon God and what He tells them to do.
I am commanded by God to teach the young women to love their husbands, whether he is a christian or not. That is what I do. God doesn't give us any commands that we are unable to fulfill. He works powerfully in us to accomplish His will. You will never be happy until you obey God, until you love your husband.
No, it isn't going to be easy but it does get easier the more you practice loving him. The most important thing you can do is change your thinking. Stop thinking negative thought about him and only good thoughts. Renew your mind with God's Word.
I think the opposite of love isn't only hate, but selfishness. We are called to be living sacrifices, deny ourselves, and to serve others. This must include our husbands. For some reason, a lot of women just don't see this clearly. I know I didn't for many years.
So begin to be generous with your husband, especially with your love. Start showering him with love. Obey God. God wants your best. By obeying him, you will be a MUCH happier person.
And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one towards another, and toward ALL men, even as we do towards you.
I Thessalonians 3:12