Some women were very upset with me when I wrote the post about wives being obligated to have sex regularly with their husbands. They felt I left out the husband's responsibility in the whole equation. I just want to remind you all that I am using this blog as an older woman teaching the younger women. I don't want the role of teaching men. That isn't a role that God has asked me to take.
It took me so long to be a good wife because I was always reading about the husband's role in a marriage and deciding Ken wasn't living up to His God ordained role so why should I? When I stopped evaluating Ken's role as a husband and just looked at my role, our marriage improved dramatically.
Yes, husbands shouldn't defraud their wives of sex. The Bible commands both husbands and wives to render due benevolence {sex} to each other. If they don't, they are defrauding each other, essentially stealing from the other one what is rightfully theirs.
Most husbands want sex more than their wives. They have ten times the testosterone that women have so their drive is usually much stronger. However, there are some wives that want it more than their husbands. What advice do I have for them?
First of all, make sure you have clearly expressed your need for more sex to your husband. If you have done that, you must leave it in God's hands. Continue to obey God in your role of loving, serving, and pleasing your husband. You are not responsible for him to obey God. You are not his Holy Spirit.
As you live your life in front of him becoming more and more like Jesus, you may just win him without a word. Also, pray a lot about it. We are to take everything to the Lord in prayer. Don't discuss it with your friends and relatives. Maybe find a godly, older woman to pray with you but then trust the Lord with your life and your desires.
The only person we can change is ourselves. No matter how hard you try to change your husband, you cannot. You will just make the marriage worse.
In the same way, you wives,
be submissive to your own husbands
so that even if
any of them are disobedient to the word,
they may be won without a word by the
behavior of their wives.
Logging you in...
Danielle B · 663 weeks ago
If the man is having a lower desire, he should have is testosterone checked..
Ken · 663 weeks ago
Do men really have stronger sex drives than women? :)
Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that men's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down.
Anonymous · 494 weeks ago
middlechild · 663 weeks ago
Debbie · 663 weeks ago
Becky · 663 weeks ago
Rachel · 663 weeks ago
It's much better to just focus on yourself. Trying to change another person is futile.
robynssimplelife 2p · 663 weeks ago
Robyn :)
brenesflowers 19p · 663 weeks ago
When I stop trying to selfishly put all my feelings and needs first things started going better in my marriage. My man is so much nicer when I'm nice to him. But isn't that how we all tend to be? But if I'm only nice to those who are nice to me have I really fulfilled my calling in Christ?
The bible says that as far as it depend on you live at peace with everyone. Shouldn't that especially include our husbands?
Keep telling it like it is. We need more bold sister in the Lord.
And I am one of those women that likes sex more than my husband. It makes me struggle (with sinful thoughts) when we don't get together regularly. He also works very long hours and we have 4 children in a small house and it puts a crimp on when we can get together. I actually prayed that God would take the desire away and he did for a time. Talking about it with my husband is an extremely sensitive subject and I have to be creative and use a lot of tact so I don't drive him away when I really just want more of him. lol
Men may have a lot more testosterone, but it can get used up if their job is really demanding. The last thing he needs to come home to is an over demanding wife. So I pray, and recite bible verses to try and keep vain imaginations from running me into the spiritual ground so I can just fall asleep beside him.
Blessings,
April