Saturday, February 15, 2014

Self~Sacrificing Parents


This is the fifth post by my mother-in-law about her upbringing in which her parents raised six children who grew up to walk in Truth ~

In looking back, I can clearly see how my parents laid down their lives for us, my Dad being the strong, quiet leader that he was.  I remember when we were adolescents and entering a world of new struggles, Daddy would have to talk with us seriously upon occasion when we went astray.  

These talks usually happened in my parents' bedroom, with the three of us {Dad, Mom, and the guilty party} sitting on or around the big bed.  We kids came to call these talks "bedrooms sessions", where Dad did most of the talking, and Mom would sit quietly by {Was she praying?  Very possibly}.  As I only remember Daddy talking, it makes me wonder if Mom ever spoke on those occasions.  But I do remember her remarking after one lengthy session {I want to say 2-3+ hours?} how Daddy was like a dishrag after it was all over, and he would just lay on the bed, exhausted.  It must have taken a lot out of him, and his youngest didn't leave the nest til he was 62!

Dad and Mom made sure we kids had transportation to the things that mattered: young people's meetings at church, an overnight with a Christian friend, Bible quizzing competitions, sports activities at the Christian schools we attended, etc.  When we lived in a town next to the one our church was in, the church activities required a bit of a drive for them.  I never heard them complain.

They also made sure to encourage us in our giftings.  I loved tinkering around on a piano whenever I got near one; but it wasn't until I was a junior in high school that I finally got lessons.  A very big memory for me is when Daddy surprised the family {mainly me and Mom, who also played} with the purchase of a piano for me to take lessons, at age 16.  

He sat me down on the bench and said, "Now Barbie-girl, I want you someday to be able to sit down her and play anything you want to."  Thanks to their sacrifice of money and time spent taking me to lessons, I can play anything I want to.  Fortunately, I love worship/church music best, and my teacher taught me with that in mind.  I have been a church pianist at 5 different churches, and loved all of it.

In the area of working with us individually, Dad took our personalities into account, even in his discipline of us.  Child number five, a girl, was a very sensitive little thing, apparently.  In any case, Daddy didn't seem to punish her as much as he had the rest of us.  Or so we thought.  We must have broached the subject with him, because we recall him saying that he didn't need to punish her very much; he only had to look at her and she cried in repentance.  A quiet model lesson to us kids of being a good parent.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, 
that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Romans 12:1


Comments (8)

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I LOVE this and really needed it today. I often wonder if I am doing the right things...and this post helps me confirm it. My mom died when I was 5 and I have no clue how to raise children. I never had a model. My daddy was/is a wonderful Christian man. But as a mother, I just have no example to follow. I pray earnestly that I do enough. Thanks. I was having a struggle with this.
"like a dishrag after it was all over"- Wow. What a stunning way to say that; it immediately made me think of how God must feel when we need a "talking to" and brought tears to my eyes. I liked this one a lot as I only have toddlers and babies for now but have wondered what discipline looks like for teenagers.

On a side note: Praying for your health Lori.
I am LOVING this series!
It really is amazing for me to read of a father who would put so much TIME into correcting & training children! It reminds me of a man who I know at a larger church here in our town who VOLUNTEERS to do nursery because he truly loves babies & I thought he must be one in a million when I heard that. Even at church, the children tend to be delegated to the care of women. I must pray about this because I don't want to judge men who delegate but it makes me wonder? Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
I am enjoying your MIL's posts immensely.

Check out our Preseving Christian Homes 2014 recap on my blog Kelley Highway, Lori. I hope the four posts bless you!

Hugs, Kelley~
Kathy Barlean's avatar

Kathy Barlean · 580 weeks ago

I have really enjoyed the postings written by your mother-in-law. I can't help but compare my upbringing in a family with 6 kids (4 girls, 2 boys) to hers. It was an every-man-for-himself, pretty chaotic household. Don't misunderstand; I love my parents (my mom has gone on to Glory), but they were young, immature, wounded people. Mom was bi-polar and dad a rage-aholic. It took many years of therapy and ultimately healing from Jesus to be able to look at the redemption in my life story. I've made many of my own mistakes as a parent and wife, and thanks to your blog, Lori, and the book Created To Be His Help Meet, I'm learning how to be the wife God intended me to be. ( I have to admit to a bit of wistfulness reading your mother-in-laws story) Thanks for sharing your life with me.
My guess is the bedroom sessions lasted 20-30 minutes, but felt like 2-3 hours :). We did the same with our kids as discovering the lies your child is thinking and replacing them with God's truth is the key to raising a child to walk in truth and righteousness. Discipline is the easy part, but the hard part is training in the truth so that new thinking will lead to new and godly behaviors.
Can I "like" Ken's post? Thank you for sharing. I fear the teenage years but by reading this blog I feel God is truly preparing me for the road ahead. God bless!!!

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