Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A Huge Loss To Society


Those of us who have chosen to be keepers at home can barely stay home because of the dear senior saints who need to be taken to the doctor, the grocery, or just out to lunch, because their daughters and daughter-in-law are working. Being busy with an outside job has its advantages, like not having to face the people who are in need and hungry and whose souls need caring for. {Marilee Horton}

Ouch, that sounds a bit harsh since some women have no choice but to work, but to those who chose to work, Marilee may be right. Many young women tell me they cannot find a godly woman to mentor them. Some tell me their mothers work and can't help them at all with their children. Women seeking careers have taken them away from the things the Lord wants of them. Society is suffering with so many women in the workforce and away from their homes.

Women at home provide a very valuable asset to society. They nurture and train their children. They support and help their husbands. They fix nutritious food for their family and others who need it. They help their neighbors in need. They take care of their elderly parents. They volunteer in the schools, lessening the burden on teachers. 

When women leave their homes and join the workforce, who takes care of all this? The big and impersonal government tries to with daycare, old folks' homes, paid helpers in school, etc., but a lot of the needs go unmet.

Keepers at home provide an irreplaceable value to our society that nothing can truly replace. God has a reason for women with children being in the home. None of His commands are to make life worse but to make life better. He knows most women do not have the stamina to have a career, run a home, raise godly children, and be a proper help meet to their husbands.

He doesn't command mothers to be keepers at home to take away women's equality with men, make them slaves to their homes, or make their lives miserable. He knew that women are the most protected and productive in the home and society benefits.

Well reported of for good works; if she has brought up children,
 if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saint's feet, 
if she has relieved the afflicted, 
if she has diligently followed every good work.
I Timothy 5:10

Comments (23)

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I'm glad I get to be first to comment. I will start my 6th job tomorrow: helping an 84 year old woman with housekeeping, grocery shopping, washing her hair, and anything she needs. Last week, she kept telling me over and over how happy she was to find someone dependable. I am glad I stay home to be able to give a couple of hours to help and earn some money on the side, and I am sad that the elderly find a stranger dependable (this is not about her children; they don't live near).
1 reply · active 571 weeks ago
One of my very good friends does the same thing. Yes, in the past, family stayed close to each other and took care of each other. No one can take the place of family.
My Mother-in-law lives with us. Many tell me how 'amazing' it is I can do this. People talk like I'm a saint (which is hilarious because it is so far from reality!) I don't view this as some grandiose, heroic task I have taken on. In fact, she blesses our home daily and lightens my load. Yes, my privacy is hindered. My independence is crimped. So what? My calling is to give up my life for others, not to hoard it. Is it easy? No - there are many things that occur that I can't even politely share with others - things I have to do, clean etc. that are extra. Oh well - Jesus washed the disciples feet - a dirty job! He left me an example that I should follow in His steps.
1 reply · active 571 weeks ago
You're exactly right, Sarah. What the world considers 'amazing' and difficult, God calls us to do. My best friend just had to nurse her mother 24/7 for the last 3 to 4 months of her life. It was very difficult but there were many special times also. God always gives us the strength to be servants and blesses us for doing it.
Hello Lori I want to say that your post was encouraging to me today. I'm a single young woman that had to start working in a "mans" job at the age of 17 to be able to take care of myself. I've been doing my job for over 10 yrs now and at first I thought nothing of it. I wasn't raised to be a stay at home daughter ( just the lack of knowledge there not a fault of my mom or my attitude) but in the past couple of years of deeply studying God's Word He has shown me some truths that I never knew before. One of them is that God never intended for the parents to be taken care of by the government or strangers. Here lately, I've been thinking and praying for God to show me a way to help take care of my disabled mother and to leave my high demanding job. The thought of not having a stable income is a bit frightening but I know that God is the provider of my needs, can I ask for your prayers that God will guide my family and I in this decision? And for me to have the courage to obey God and leave all the consequences to Him?

Thank you for writing the truth and encouraging not only wives and mothers but single young women such as my self to obey God.
Bekah
1 reply · active 571 weeks ago
It would be a huge blessing to both of you if you took care of your mother. I will pray for wisdom for you, Bekah. Being home and a keeper at home, even if you aren't married, is truly a blessing if you learn to be content and think of it as your ministry from God.
This is so great!! My mom works and isn't available a lot to help me with my children. It's difficult at times. My mother in law is retiring this month so I'm hoping we'll be able to see more of her. I really hope to be available to help my children when they are starting out as parents. It can seem so overwhelming in the beginning and it would have been nice to have my mom and mother in law around more.
2 replies · active 571 weeks ago
My mom helped me a ton and now I try to help my daughter-in-law as much as possible. I just went over to her home today to help her fold clothes and clean. I love helping her in that way and lightening her burden. I think she also enjoys the adult conversation! :)
That's so great! I'm sure she appreciates it so much!!
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 571 weeks ago

I feel so sad for Wife's and Mama's who have to work to pay the bills and mortgage! It's is so sad!
1 reply · active 570 weeks ago
Many of them choose to do this because they find more fulfillment than being a keeper at home. I, too, feel sorry for those who don't want to work but have to. I just encourage them to keep praying and ask God for a way. He never gives us a command without the ability to fulfill it. Many women quit their jobs, then find God abundantly providing for them as they step out in faith and trust.
Amen Amen and Amen to this post. I have been on both sides of the fence. I'm extremely grateful to be home and I'm constantly learning new ways to care for my family, stretch the income, and love my neighbor. I know that there are circumstances where some women *must* work out of the home and it is for them I pray for strength. Our communities are definitely weakened when we don't serve when and where we can.
1 reply · active 571 weeks ago
I have been on both sides, also, Colette and I sure like the side I am on better now!
Social Security is almost bankrupt and will probably not be around much longer, just like all government programs are. Government is very wasteful and is getting our country into deeper and deeper debt.
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 571 weeks ago

Lori, does your government paid an old age pensioner or a carers pension?
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 571 weeks ago

So if a person looks after a sick or disabled member of their family full time; does that carer get paid a pension from your government?
As my parents live interstate I am not able to help as much as I would like due to distances. But my brother and his wife do a great job helping with appointments etc and they both work. They are fortunate to have "carers leave" that allows them time off to care for family. I have the same arrangement so every time I need to take time off to help my son I also use "carers leave" which makes a big differences. So far this year I have taken a 1/2 day off per week which my employer is quite happy with. Helping can also involve a phone call during the week and I phone my dad up often in the evenings and chat for an hour or so, it makes a big differences and cheers him up no end. I also send him books to read and I even order clothes for my mother on the net to help - helping can be done even when distances is in the way.

Whilst nursing homes are never a great option - my mother’s stroke resulted in the need for 24 hour care and a nursing home was the best option. But our prayers were answered and it is very close to where dad lives so he can visit every day. Sadly he has noticed that many of the elderly never get visitors (even if their children don’t work) as they are “too busy” doing other things. It isn’t really about work, its more about our selfishness (and considering ourselves as number 1) because if you want to help, there is always time as i have witnessed many times.
Mandi Horton's avatar

Mandi Horton · 566 weeks ago

Hi. My mom is Marilee Horton. I happened onto this site by pure accident as my mom passed away exactly two weeks ago today and I was just randomly searching her name. I am her only daughter and I have three brothers. What was special about my mom was that she was just as supportive of a working mom as she was a mom that was free to stay at home. I stayed at home with three kids until my three child was 18 months and then I started my career as a high school teacher. I had one more child, with special needs, but returned to work promptly due to financial reasons. My mom was always supportive. It was nice seeing her name on this page.
1 reply · active 566 weeks ago
You had one very wise mother. You are blessed!
Hi! I like everything this post has to say, except I wish it said "parent" rather than mother. Stay at home dad's are huuuugely important to familes and societies too! My uncle was a stay at home dad to my two cousins while my aunt made valuable contributions to society as a medical pathologist. Any stay at home parent is amazing!

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