Thursday, April 24, 2014

Living Out Of An SUV?


Proverbs 31 can seem somewhat unrealistic to a lot of us, but do you know why I think that is? Not because it is impossible to fulfill, but because we as a culture have gone so far a field from the traditional/biblical model of family life that we just don't recognize it anymore.

What we have come to accept as "normal" is living in our SUV with a day planner, breathlessly running from meeting to meeting, activity to activity. This is a relatively recent phenomenon for women ~ ask your grandmother! And, I'm not even talking about working women. These are stay-at-home mothers who don't really stay at home very much!

Therefore, since most women nowadays do not fill the majority of their time with domestic pursuits, these verses come off as some kind of unattainable ideal.

Well sisters, I am here to tell you that this is definitely not an outdated, old-fashioned way of life. In fact, I have come to believe with my whole heart that taking God at His Word and pursuing this home-centered path results in greater peace and contentment than you may have ever known, both for you and your family. It is an abundant life.

A woman whose heart is firmly anchored in her home can from that center point stretch herself out in many different directions. Her home can become a hub of creative activity and ministry. She has the freedom to listen for the voice of the Spirit and blow in whatever direction He may lead on any given day. Always, her first priority is her husband, her children and her home.

If you find yourself aching for this less complicated and more restful existence, you can have it. But, you are going to have to really commit yourself to this goal. The enemy of our souls does not want you to have peace, rest and joy and he will try many different tactics to steer you off of this path. You have to want this and let nothing deter you from getting there.

I press toward the mark for the prize 
of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:14

Comments (18)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
That is so true! I am in my 6th year of homeschooling and the first year we were at co-op, park days, service projects, field trips, play dates etc. almost every day (after school). Not to mention swim team every day in the summer and the normal grocery shopping. I was haggard and tired and was recovering from 3 surgeries but I was so driven by fear of my daughter not being socialized. Then we remodeled our house top to bottom and we stayed away as much as possible to avoid the mess and dust. After a couple of years I was cranky and exhausted and honestly so was my daughter. About 3 years ago, after the remodel I realized I had a lovely home and I was never there. Hmm. It was also a mess because I wasn't home cleaning on a regular basis. When you live flying by the seat of your pants (or SUV), you have a messy house, messy car and a messy brain. After one particular winter/spring where I had back to back sinus infections and bronchitis I realized that I had to stop that. I decided I am not going anywhere that I don't really need to go. If I end up with more than one outing in a week besides church and taking my daughter to day I kind of feel smothered and squeezed. Slowing down and saying no is never bad advice. Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself…"what am I really accomplishing"? These days my house is somewhat better and my car is a lot cleaner!
2 replies · active 570 weeks ago
Even with no children in the home, if I am away too often, things don't get done. There is a verse in Proverbs and a prostitute and her feet are never at home. That always impressed me. God wants us at home, guarding and keeping it.
Wow! That is convicting isn't it?
Love this! I try really hard to be home most of the time. Our while family functions better. Besidesgoing to the gym and church we only plan one other outing or play date a week, and I only go grocery shopping once every two weeks. I was recently very tempted to fill our summer with activities and sports. We got the community magazine and I thought about how i want to give my kids the opportunity to participate in all these things. Besides a lot more money going out, we quickly realized this is NOT the path we want to take our family on. We lived a chaotic life when I had to work, and we don't want to go back. It was hard because we felt the pressure to put our kids in blast ball, dancing, music, art and swimming lessons from not only friends but both of our parents as well. Our goal is to raise children that love and worship God, and I think it's a lot harder when you are never home. (We did decide to sign them up for swimming lessons :).)
My problem is that I am not sure how to STAY busy at home. I homeschool and have 3 kids who are at fairly independent stages. So most days I finish their school and my housework by early/mid afternoon. One afternoon a week we go to the library and grocery shopping, and one morning we have swimming lessons. So yes, we are busy (in a good way) but somehow I still find myself with a lot of downtime, especially in the evenings. I just don't know what i'm supposed to be doing to fill this time. It's like I work myself out of a job and then twiddle my thumbs. Most of my friends can't keep up with their todo lists so what am I doing wrong? I would love some insight.
4 replies · active 570 weeks ago
Sounds to me like you are doing something right!
Loving been his wife's avatar

Loving been his wife · 570 weeks ago

Laura, do you sew, quilt, knit, garden, bake, cook, create homely decor for you family? I find this is such a wonderful way to bless my family and keep myself busy at the sametime! I am also reading up on how to improve my homemaking skills. At the moment I am read *A Wife After God's Own Heart* by Elizabeth George it is such a good book and deals with every area of homemaking and marriage. It has helped me so much to do things that better my families life's!
That sounds like a dream! :) With 4 kids 4 and under I can't even imagine, but if I did have free time I would work out more, make time consuming meals, read books and lots of crocheting...my favorite hobby! :)
how lovely, I would definitely take time to do more bible study etc.........crafts, blessing others with what you make etc........Laura, make the most of this time.
Blessings
Helen UK
Homemaking was a dirty word to me. I said that if all I have to do is wash dishes, then I need a life. I rather eat gravel than invest in homemaking, and I stayed home. With an axe to grind, I tripped upon this blog nearly a year ago, and like a splinter rising to the surface, my viewpoint about my job at home changed. I had to confront myself as to why I'm on the planet.

I still think the same thing about dishes, but now get them done without the complaining. Adjusting to my focus to home, I am at peace, more productive, less argumentative. My attitude has changed for the better. I smile more, and more are noticing. The tone I use has changed, and more are noticing.
2 replies · active 570 weeks ago
This is beautiful, Kim! I have learned to enjoy cleaning since I learned to be more thankful. As I wash dishes, I am thankful I have dishes, hot water and soap. When I clean clothes, I am very thankful for the washer, dryer and clothes. All it comes down to is an attitude adjustment and being thankful. I have made thousands of salads but have learned to enjoy it since I know they nourish my family!
I found my first response in September 2013, and was reading some time before then. I've been reading for 8-10 months. Thinking back to a year ago, what a difference my family is.
Lori what are your thoughts on extra curricular activites for kids? My kids are getting to the ages where they want to try things (piano lessons, soccer, dance, etc.) What's the best way to let them have experiences without becoming a crazy person driving all over town?
3 replies · active 570 weeks ago
It's a tough question, Tiffany. Our children were always involved in one sport. Alyssa danced. Ryan and Steven played baseball, soccer, and basketball from the time they were small, all through high school, and Steven even played in college. Cassi danced, played soccer and basketball. It got to be very busy, definitely too busy at times. They all loved it and it taught them many valuable lessons; discipline, team work, exercise, etc. I think you need to find out what your children enjoy and are good at then decide how much time, you as a family, can commit to it. I always had time to shop, clean, fix healthy meals, etc. since I was a SAHM. I can never imagine doing it if I had to work on top of all of that. Our favorite past time was watching our children play sports!
If I may, Tiffany, state our rule. One activity at a time. My kids aren't allowed to be in sports, music, and clubs (examples). They have to chose one and let the others go.
Yes, our children were only in one thing at a time also. I knew some kids who were in sports, the school play, and music lessons. This would have been way too much for our family.
I have been looking back at the life of my grandmother (born 1895) and it is interesting that she had “help” and didn’t clean or cook often as this was left up to the her housekeeper. Her spinster sister also lived with the family and helped look after the children. My grandmother’s life was rather empty of domestic duties and she spend much of her time “helping” the poor or having cups of tea with other ladies. In contrast, my fathers mother helped on the farm whenever she was needed - every extra hand was important. She did what was needed and if life became busy, she just found the time as most country women did at the time - where there is a will there is always a way. Two women with completely different lives (and different backgrounds), a little like today.

On another note - I do think though that those women with grown up children (when life becomes far quieter at home, it certainly has in ours) - it is a time to reach out and become more active in the community. Doing charity work, helping those in need and turning “love thy neighbour” into action.
1 reply · active 570 weeks ago
Totally agree. I wish more women with older children were able to spend time encouraging those of us with young ones.

Post a new comment

Comments by