Parenting alone takes a toll on women's health. A number of studies show that single
mothers have a number of health risks; overall mortality, cardiovascular
disease and mental health issues. Stress is probably the major factor. “I never
get a break,” exclaimed one mother. “The most important finding was that single
mothers in almost all countries had poorer health as they reach older age than
women who are married," said the study’s lead author, Lisa Berkman, a professor
at the Harvard Chan School of Public Health and director of the Harvard Center
for Population and Development Studies. "They have a difficult time performing…things
like climbing stairs, getting around, cooking."
I always find it amusing when “studies”
prove what God’s Word teaches us and was written thousands of years ago! When I
teach women to stay married and be keepers at home, I’m not teaching them this
to make their lives miserable and punish them. No, I’m teaching it because I
know it is what is best for them, their marriages and their children. Now, studies even prove it is best for their
health.
Being a happily married women and keeper
at home keeps women busy enough without the added stress of trying to raise
your children alone and make sure they are provided for. God NEVER intended it
to be this way, yet our society, even Christians, promote women getting high
educational degrees and careers instead of learning what it takes to be a
godly, submissive help meet and a great mother to their children. These things are considered second best and need not be taught.
Women are divorcing their husbands in droves today because they are not "happy." Losing their health and shortening their lives is NOT going to make them more happy. They need to be encouraged to stay faithful to their vows. Obey God. Let no one tear asunder what God has made into one flesh. God's ways are for our good and our best. Man's ways will NEVER even come close to how good our Lord's instructions are to us.
If there are some single mothers in your life from no fault of their own or even from their own fault, do everything you can to support them and be there for them. If you have time, go help them. If you have money, give them some money. Do what you can to minister to them and try to make their lives easier. Be Jesus to them! Don't ever punish them for the choices they have made, for this isn't our job. They are suffering enough.
If you are married and a keeper at home, yet you are feeling exhausted, read my post When Do Mothers Get a Break? for suggestions on handling raising young children. Young women weren't made to do it alone. Older women need to step it up and help the young women in their lives. Raising a godly generation is the single most important thing anyone can spend their life doing. It is never wasted time!
Therefore, women, continue to encourage those in your lives of the importance of staying married to the man of their youth and being home full-time to care for their husband, children and home. You may think your words are falling on deaf ears but God's Truth and His ways never come back void!
The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not give to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5
Logging you in...
Taylor · 510 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 510 weeks ago
Yvonne Mangum · 510 weeks ago
You published my 'rant' on this subject last year. I'm just as tired, and even less physically healthy, than I was when I wrote that... about not being healthy for us single mom's to "do it all". Due to the stress of being a single mom, business owner, home owner, and active in the community. I closed my business recently and accepted a job where I can continue to work from home but have less stress and pressure. More big changes equal more stress, but less in the long run. I thank God for the opportunities I have had, to somehow balance my career and be at home at the same time. My BLOOD PRESSURE is down on average about 25 points. At times it was dangerously high, in direct response to high stress.
People tell us over-extended mothers to just 'let things go'. It seems impossible, I responded with "like what?!?!?" I was not sitting around watching TV, and very rarely doing anything recreational other than exercise. Which is also something we should not consider optional. There is just TOO MUCH for one person to care for a home, work, raise children and properly care for our self, including a spiritual life, family, friends or any social activities. IT IS JUST NOT POSSIBLE, and we literally drive ourselves into the ground when we attempt to be Super Woman. I have battled with this for 8 years and can see the toll that it has taken on my health. Were I younger, perhaps it would not be so obvious... but I believe that single parenthood is nearly impossible to well, without it taking great tolls on the parent. I left an addict, I honestly believe that all of us would be destitute and homeless had I not done that... but I live a life of challenges.
We need to teach that marrying poorly presents a LIFETIME of hardship. More must be done to educate young women about marrying a Godly husband... lets not continue to have to support those of us coping with that error, years down the road after children are involved. It is surely tragic for the children, I am SO grateful for Christian parents who will be celebrating 60 years of marriage in August. But see, even having a great example was not teaching enough... it's like praying, some things need to be said out loud.
Lori Alexander 122p · 510 weeks ago
wendytamaryoung 37p · 510 weeks ago
Jacqueline · 510 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 510 weeks ago
Lauren Reynolds · 500 weeks ago
My mother is currently around the 60 mark. She has been divorced from my father since I was 11, so 13 years now.
And you know what? She is so much happier. She flourished (as did my father!) after the split, met new friends, traveled more, and became a much better mother. Me and my brother are both in University, (Yes I am a woman), we are both chastely dating the 'one' with a good promise of marriage on the horizon, and my mother provides for us so well she doesn't need my fathers money.
I personally also have a great relationship with my father. We see him every other Sunday and Saturday (so one sat with dad and sun with mom and reverse) and we are incredibly close. We have two little half-brothers that mean the wold to us and my father's new wife is even close friends with my mother, if you can believe it!
My family is also very religious. I know this might sound contradictory, but we live with the motto that all we accomplish is for God and in Jesus' name, which gives us incredible motivation. Neither my brother nor I have been sexually active yet, we don't go out, I (and he too) dress modestly and with the bible in mind. We've found that focusing on the positive, making time for each other with the Scripture and attending Church has helped us become much closer to God than trying to live a 'perfect' biblical life. That is also the reason I go to Uni and plan to work--my fiance agrees with this, and mind you he is not 'weak' at all. So my mother is not a typical submissive woman and is in fact divorced, but she's not overworked or stressed, in fact she's very healthy and happy and looks ten years younger.
The reason for my reply is in defense of the choices of my mother of course, but also because I think you are narrowing your gaze too much. Of course many women flourish inside the home under the protection of a husband, but making this the golden standard is crippling those who wish for another life and would flourish with it. There is nothing wrong in wanting a career as a woman--but you need to find a man (a Godly man!) who is willing to help you. I don't see how this is emasculating for a man to help his wife be happy and accomplish things, when she does the same for him. Not nagging, taking care of your man, heading your husbands words, those are the important parts. Letting him be the leader is no problem to me either, I want to make that clear. But saying being a single mother is unhealthy (and against God) is both shorting women and their amazing abilities and condescending to those women who are a single mother. I don't know, this post of yours kind of disappointing me. It is making a 'doom' scenario of something that can be though, but ultimately bring you closer to God as well! My mother certainly is.
I'm sorry for this ramble.
Lori Alexander 122p · 500 weeks ago
Just because it worked out "great" for your mother doesn't mean it is God's Will. Tomorrow I am publishing a post asking if Anna should separate from Josh. I hope you read it. God cares less about our happiness and success; He cares about our faith in Him, believing in His promises and obeying Him. God commands young women to be keepers at home, submissive and obedient to their husbands. This is what He wants of godly women so this is what I teach. I'm not going to ever water down His Truth simply because doing something contrary to God's Word "worked out." I love Him, His Word and His ways too much to do this. You can go to most other teachers and be told that what your mom did is great but not from me. I'm sorry.