Years ago, Ken went out with a couple for dinner. Almost every time the husband said something, the wife would screw up her face and look at her husband as if was the biggest liar on the face of the planet. Ken said it was so annoying to see the amount of disrespect this woman was showing her husband. No matter how beautiful this woman was in appearance, she was ugly by her behavior of disrespect towards her husband.
Many of us marry our husbands hoping they will be a perfect help meet to us and when they don't live up to our expectations, we are continually angry with them. Michael Pearl tells young men looking for wives that there is really only one absolutely necessary trait that the girl they marry must posses - a grateful heart. He tells them that the girl they choose must be joyful and thankful that you love her.* {I'm sure glad he didn't say this to Ken or Ken would have never married me. :( } Admit it, women. I bet many of you married your husband thinking of how he would make you happy and satisfy your needs, instead of you thinking how much you want to make him happy and satisfy his needs.
Every institution in this world has one leader. Our country has a President; states have a Governor; cities have a Mayor; jobs have a boss; marriages have a Husband. Man was created to rule. It is his nature but the only place most men will ever rule is their own little kingdom called home. At the least, every man's destiny is to be the leader of his household.* Don't take away this privilege from your husband, women. Make it easy for him and allow him to be the leader. If you say your husband isn't the leader, give it over to him. When he wants to go out to eat, ask him where he wants to go and then go there. When you are fixing dinner, ask him what he wants and then fix it. As you begin making him the leader in the little things, he will begin taking over the big things.
As your leader, you must show him reverence since God commands this of you. If you show it to him grudgingly, he will be able to see it. Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and with your body language.* If you are a wife who has spent years showing your husband disrespect by the words you said to him and by the way you have treated him, you must go to him and repent of your words and actions towards him. Until you repent, he cannot love you with abandoned joy.* True repentance doesn't only mean you are sorry and ask him for his forgiveness. It means you stop disrespecting him and begin showing him the reverence that he deserves because of the position in the home he holds. When a man is reverenced by his wife, it is a powerful tool that will begin to have a profound effect on even the meanest of husbands. You cannot command your husband to love you, and you have no right to expect him to love you when you are unlovely...His very nature is made to respond to us if we will only treat him with reverence.*
1 Peter 3:6 states, "Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord..." Sarah reverenced Abraham by calling him lord and adorned herself with her subjection to him. This is what God calls us to do and you will never be truly happy until you obey this command. To reverence a husband is to be delighted and thankful.* It's not to control or manipulate your husband; it is to be delighted and thankful that he chose you to be his wife and show him this the rest of your days. Your husband is your king and he chose you to live in his kingdom!
Yes, all of this is so completely opposed what our culture is teaching women today. Most women don't hear things like this in Christian schools, in their homes, in their churches or in women's conferences but it's an important thing for women to hear if they want to obey God and have a marriage the way God intended it to be. For God says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..."{Hosea 4:6}. The more you show your husband reverence, the more he treasures you and treats you like his queen.*
*Quotes from the book.
Logging you in...
Mrs. G. · 474 weeks ago
I have a friend who is married to a would-be Command man...he is a leader in the business world and is very respected among his employees, yet his wife takes the leadership role in their home. One night my husband and I went to drop something off at their house, and we were standing in their foyer talking, and the man was telling my husband a story and he was getting animated with his gestures, and while his wife and I were silently listening to this story, she quickly and not so discreetly stepped behind him to move one of her knick-knacks from the shelf just in case he would knock it over. He quickly apologized to her and continued on with his story, but with much less gusto than before. How I wish that she knew that by that one motion of distrust, she made her husband look foolish in front of company.
I've had other friends that have corrected their husbands in our presence, rolling their eyes to discredit them, or just treating them like they are stupid and don't know what they are talking about. One husband was trying to tell me a story, and his wife said sharply, "stop confusing her, she doesn't even know these people so just get to the point!" It really just deflates the man and sours the entire moment. And yet these women are just oblivious to what they are doing!
Women, you can say so much with your body language and facial expressions. Do you want the world to see your husband as an honorable, respectable man, or as a fool?
Lori Alexander 122p · 474 weeks ago
Mrs. G. · 474 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 474 weeks ago
upwithmarriage 25p · 474 weeks ago
"No matter how beautiful this woman was in appearance, she was ugly by her behavior of disrespect towards her husband." I can't stress how true this statement is! A woman can actually take herself from a 10 to a 2 in her husband's eyes, just by opening her mouth! When you think about the magnitude of that it's kind of scary. That is the main reason Peter drills down on the outward appearance for us, so we keep it in balance.
Lori Alexander 122p · 474 weeks ago
Rob · 474 weeks ago
How this goes into today's blog is when spouses learn to serve the other in a small loving way by following God's commands then things get better. It doesn't have to be huge mountains all at once.
Another example I gave them is, lately we have been in a financial struggle and after changing jobs I have been working at a crummy crummy night shift job and almost every night I want to quit when I go in I told them, but I don't I ask God to help me find the strength not to quit and keep providing for my family even though it's not what we are used to.
I told them I don't quit because at 5am when I am exhausted and still have a couple hours to go I think of them and Monday grocery shopping and our mortgage and my son's baseball I couldn't afford if I quit. My 9yr had a tear steam down her face.
When we have our heart right with Christ we can do what needs to be done to bring him all the glory. Wives don't submit to your husbands with a grumpy heart. Husbands don't take advantage of your wives submission. Both leadership and submission are crucial to your kid's future!!!!!
The one I do know for sure is that after almost 16yrs of marriage that have struggled mightily it's only God's wisdom and belief in him that has given us hope.
We don't live this life for us we live it for him to bring him Him glory. So the next time you want to bicker, embarrass or insult your husband think that Christ is watching and would he be proud of you? The next time as husband you want to belittle or take advantage of your wive's submission do the same.
The only chance in my opinion to have a successful marriage is to keep being Christ to your spouse even when you feel they don't deserve it
Submission can be a very scary thing for a wife because of the any excuses she can give and some of them are valid, but remember leading a family can be so very hard as well. Trust me I know. I fail more than I succeed but that's when I call on Christ to help me and give me a kick in the butt when I need it!!!!
Lori Alexander 122p · 474 weeks ago
Anon M · 474 weeks ago
gigiqc 25p · 474 weeks ago
Deb · 474 weeks ago
GirlinBrooklyn · 451 weeks ago