Monday, April 4, 2016

Keepers at Home ~ Chapter Twenty


Teaching women to be keepers at home has become my favorite topic because it's so important to having a strong, healthy marriage and emotionally stable, secure, and happy children. "Increasingly, child development experts are saying what many mothers and fathers have known all along - that to be fully human a child needs to be intensely loved and cared for by someone who won't 'pack up and leave at five o'clock.' That someone is the child's mother." {Brenda Hunter, PhD} When the Word teaches us that younger women are to be keepers at home, it is not a suggestion; it is God's will for wives.*

We are told we blaspheme His Word if we are not keepers at home. Debi believes one of the many reasons for this is because if we aren't protecting our children in the safety of our own home, terrible things can happen to them; abuse, neglect, harm, lack of affection and love,  security, etc. Handing our children over to strangers is not wise at all. A young mother's place is in the home, keeping it, guarding it, watching over those entrusted to her.*

Many women have husbands who want them to work outside of the home. What are these women supposed to do? Debi wrote, If you are willing to obey in all areas and you do not build a spirit of rebellion toward your husband or God, your appeal is more likely to fall on sympathetic ears.* If you are kind, loving, patient, submissive, reverent towards him, joyful and trying to please your husband, your husband will be much more prone to listen to you!

Ask him if there is a way you can stay at home while you and the children engage in some work that will bring in an income. Ask him if there is a way you can cut back on expenses so the family can get by on his salary alone. Ask for a trial period. Show him how you can save on unnecessary expenses. Shop at secondhand stores. Move to a less expensive house, if necessary. Have one less automobile. Don't buy new furniture. When the refrigerator quits, buy a used one out of the local paper. Don't go on expensive vacations. Use your vacation time for the whole family to paint the house, instead of hiring someone to do it. Ask an older friend to help you see where you waste money. Most men would allow their wives to stay at home if the wife could show that it was her heartfelt, Spirit-led desire to be obedient to God in the matter of child training and if she could learn to be more frugal and content. Pray and ask God to change your husband's heart and your financial situation. Be prepared for an extreme change in your lifestyle. God will rescue a trusting heart.* 

Women are prone to being lazy, wasting time on the Internet or television, and gossiping. God warns women to not do this in 1 Timothy 5:14. Instead, we are to be busy at home. Keep a clean and tidy home. Don't let anything interfere with this {unless you are sick or injured}. Take good care of your husband and children. Fix them healthy and nourishing food. If you don't waste your time and work hard, you will be able to accomplish all of these things. 

Keeping the home is more that staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home. A help meet will be engaged in creative enterprises that challenge and inspire the children. She will guard the home against outside influences, and she will always be on watch to protect the children from their own inventions of evil. She will not be idle and neither will her children...She will be frugal in all her endeavors, and she will teach the children to love serving Daddy. She will keep the home so that when Daddy comes home, it is a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.*

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband; 
but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4

*Quotes from the book. There were a lot this week since 
they were so good and I love this topic so much. :)

Comments (21)

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This is something I feel very passionately about as well, Lori!

"Keep a clean and tidy home. Don't let anything interfere with this." This is so true! I absolutely cannot leave my house if things are out of order. I refuse to leave a sink full of dishes, beds unmade or laundry to be done. A lot of our homeschooling friends want to get together on Fridays because we usually have a shorter day, but that is when I do my grocery shopping so unless that is done, I don't go. If my home isn't running smoothly, I can't concentrate on anything else.

Thanks for this post today. With the weather getting nicer it is tempting to just play instead of work, but as keepers of the home, we need to focus on our duties before anything else.
6 replies · active 468 weeks ago
You're welcome, Mrs. G! Clean and tidy homes are so much more peaceful and relaxing then dirty, cluttered homes. God is a God of decency and order and we ought to pursue these qualities as well!
Another Guest's avatar

Another Guest · 468 weeks ago

This is also something I am passionate about, Mrs. G. but I would like to give you a bit of advice, if you don't mind. I have raised five children while being a stay-at-home mom and I struggled with being a neat freak; I still do but I am doing much better now than I was while raising my children! The fact is, you can make cleanliness your idol, yes, you really can! And you feel like it's just simply you - your identity, but that's dangerous because you start judging others too much by your own standards. If there's one thing I would do differently now if I were to parent little ones again, that would be to not be so fussy with having to have everything in order before playing with the children, spending time outside with them and so many other things! Your house can still be neat and clean but maybe not the exact extent you THINK it has to be. Yes, I know, it just doesn't feel right, I totally get that but trust me - you won't be sorry if you start giving in a little bit here, a little bit there and soon you'll find that it works quite well! I still struggle with this (I'm almost 60!) but I try to encourage young moms to find a healthy balance. It's possible. And do you know what? Later when your children recall their childhood days they will talk fondly about the activities you took time to do with them; the clean house won't even be mentioned! Check your day plan, give it some wiggle room and you'll be glad you did! That is not called interference to a clean and tidy home. Try it! You can do it!
You are so right! These are very wise words. You should be together with your homeschooling friends, Mrs. G, since your children will probably love it. When I have company over, I always do my dishes the next morning so that I can enjoy the company while they are in my home instead of cleaning my kitchen.
FREEINDEED's avatar

FREEINDEED · 468 weeks ago

Mary or Martha or a little of both. . . I was just talking to a friend about this. .we're all somewhere on the scale, aren't we? Some days call for more of one than the other. But if I make time for his people, He always blesses me with a little extra time here & there to catch up the house. It always gets done somehow:) Neat idea about no dishes while guests are there. My mom does the same thing. She says cleaning up after everyone leaves brings back fun memories from when they visited!
Yes, the next day when they're all gone, I have much more time to do the dishes. I love to spend time with people much more than I do wash dishes! :)
Yes, that is a good point. I know my husband would like me to relax more about the house. I grew up in a messy house without a mom, and my dad was a "saver" so there was a lot of clutter. I think because I was never able to control this chaos as a child, my anxiety goes through the roof if my house starts to get out of control. I have been working on letting my family know when I'm feeling overwhelmed about the house and usually they are very good at helping. It can also be hard to reign in the clutter during the homeschool year...so much gets put on the back burner!
Yes, there are husbands who want their wives to work a job outside the home. Mine is one of those. He was actually very ugly and hurtful saying I was not going to "stay home and suck off him." The only reason he agreed to it was he saw that daycare would cost almost as much as I made.

So, that could be a way to support the case for staying home. Show him the prices of daycare.

In the end, I made the best of the situation and taught school, so my children have always at least been in the building with me. They can come by my room any time. My son will even come give me a hug at lunch sometimes, which warms my heart because most teen boys would be embarrassed.
3 replies · active 468 weeks ago
Way too many men want their wives to work outside of the home, Michelle, because they see dollar signs instead of all the benefits of having their own children being raised by their mother, being able to work at home, and not having to be away from their home and children all day. It's another sad consequence of the feminist mindset that women are the same as men.
How hurtful that must have been for your husband to say that, Michelle!
Yes, it hurt, but I don't mnd having an outside job. I like what I do.
I do not for one second believe that women are prone to be lazy. If you want something done -- ask a busy woman. Many studies have shown that women are excellent multi-taskers, able to juggle multiple tasks at once to completion.
2 replies · active 468 weeks ago
The Bible says otherwise, "And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." {1 Timothy 5:13}
Guest, in some cases this is true. But laziness is something a lot of wives struggle with. And in my case, my husband is much better at multitasking than I. I tend to get absorbed in a task or situation and it's often my husband who pulls me up on it. And I have 8 children (ages 2-12 and I homeschool and have a high needs child among them.) and pregnant with my 9th. And much to my shame tend to be more lazy than I care to admit. So what you say is true for some, but not all.
I don't get tired of reading on this subject. I usually always learn one new thing. This time was on not getting lazy. I have to watch myself with sitting down and reading too much.

So in my day, I have allowed for times to rest. This is when I will read a little. I sometimes felt I was being lazy by reading. My husband told me no because it is helping the family. The reading I am doing is researching on how we can stay healthy, reading and planning meals, learning alternative medicines, ect. I do not read for pleasure a whole lot.

I wasn't raised having a TV in the house. Now we have it, but I don't watch a whole lot. I know already I wanted to watch a cooking show or The Bates Family. I forgot to even turn it on. I actually write a note if I really want to see something.

I know also if I didn't get enough sleep, I am not productive. Also, if I don't have a plan for the day, I can become lazy and don't know where to start. Recently I revised my weekly schedule and that helps to have goals for the day. I changed things around, because somethings weren't getting done.

I love this encouraging post!
1 reply · active 468 weeks ago
You are doing a good job of being a keeper at home! We must always be diligent in the way we live our life since it's so easy to give in to laziness, if we allow it.
Hi Lori
My mother was never around because she worked all the time I can hardly remember spinding any time with her. She was never around to teach her girls how to be proper wives and with out your blog I feel I would follow in the same path she did. Your wisdom and how unwavering you are in your beliefs it has helped me many times. My husband has noticed my change in attitude comments on how much I've improved as a help meet, he's now asked me to stop working and be a full time homemaker and I couldn't be happier. I want to think you for the time you take and the guidance you give.
-Monique R
1 reply · active 468 weeks ago
You're welcome, Monique, and I love to hear of mothers going home to raise their children. What a blessing that your husband even wants you to do this and supports you in it. Enjoy your time with your children. They grow up quickly so you don't want to miss these valuable years with them.
Kelley Dibble's avatar

Kelley Dibble · 468 weeks ago

Hey, Lori. Spot on as usual. Nature taught us these things. Seriously. Women keeping the home is natural and that's why it works!

Get a load of this link. You may want to write a post about it? http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/havi...

*hugs*
Kelley~
2 replies · active 468 weeks ago
Fantastic post as always, Lori! I have enjoyed the CTBHH study.

Wow! The article that you linked to is quite sad, along with many of the comments. Breaks my heart for all of those children. I'd really love to see a post about this article!
Right now, I am reading a book about how important it is for mothers to be home with their children and how children need their mothers or else they develop all sorts of insecurities, depressions, mental instabilities, etc. I will be writing a lot about this book. I may write a post about this article.

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