Friday, April 29, 2016

Are You Wasting Your Life at Home?


Feminists won because they were able to convince women they had no worth staying at home raising children and being a homemaker. They convinced them that these things were boring and there's so much more life "out there" {wherever that is}. Women fell for it hook, line and sinker, including Christian women. Mrs. M. commented on one of my posts and showed the error of this thinking.

A major problem with the way our society thinks is that they assume the only way for a woman to use her intelligence, talent, and gifts is through a paid career. They assume if you don't have a paid career you are wasting your life. They fail to see that a true "help meet" has endless opportunities such as ~ 

Teaching their children apologetics, theology, history, and reading great literature with them. Reading and learning about finances and economics in order to better run the household and the family budget. Learning about nutrition and home healing remedies. Exercising their creative talents by baking, cooking, decorating, creating, etc. Discussing world events and politics with their husband over dinner. Being a fruitful member of the household of God by actually having the time to participate in ministry and devote to prayer. Using their gifts and talents to help further their husband's career, whether that means proofreading speeches, entertaining colleagues, or giving wise perspective {when asked} about problems at the office. To say a woman needs a paid career to use her gifts, talents, and brain is such a narrow-minded view of the matter! 

It's ridiculous that feminists were able to convince women that hurriedly leaving your home each morning, driving in traffic, working for someone else from 9:00 to 5:00, rushing home, trying to do all the housework, get dinner ready and fall into bed exhausted each night just to wake up the next morning to do the same thing is better than being at home full-time. Here is a quote from a post called The History of Womanhood That Feminists Don’t Want You to Know

"In Scripture, man’s work and woman’s work are equally valid – wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and femininity are not belittled, and women are not guilt-manipulated into living and acting like men. On the contrary; woman’s distinctiveness from man is praised and honored, and her unique role is held vital. Women were to be protected and cherished, to 'attain honor' {Proverbs 11:16} and be 'praised in the gates' {Proverbs 31:31). It wasn’t until the advent of women’s 'liberation' that women were told, 'Your value as a woman is determined by how well you can perform as a man. Being a woman is no longer enough.'”

Enjoy being a woman, women! Cherish the role the Lord has given you. I have always loved being female and feminine. I love that my husband is male and masculine. I love the differences between male and female. We should rejoice in the differences of these roles instead of trying to be something we were not created to be. You aren't wasting your life at home. You are right where you are supposed to be!


Many daughters have done virtuously, 
but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
 but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; 
and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:29-31

Comments (30)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 465 weeks ago

The false belief that a woman's life only has worth if she is in the labor force and receiving a paycheck is based on the love of money, which is the root of all evil (I Timothy 6:10). This is what largely drives feminism and why women think they have to go to college, then work, then have an expensive wedding, and then buy their children everything. But being an help meet for one's husband and rearing one's children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is priceless! God's rewards top those of the world every time.
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Thanks for the encouraging words! God bless!
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Amen! :)
It really is a sign of a sad, fallen world. Even plenty of Christian families are telling their daughters that it isn't enough to be a full time mother and homemaker. It's so wonderful to come here and see that choice held up as a great thing and not some lesser duty for unambitious women as the world teaches. These are definitely the types of posts that make me happiest to read (although I would say the ones I actually NEED to read more are the ones that still make me twinge with anger a bit as they're the ones that challenge and convict me where I most need it).
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
As always, right on target, Lori! I was once that woman trying to obtain it all. At one point I was even the President of the "Federal Women's Program", a group determined to gain equality with men in the workplace. So sad. I lost so much. My family and husband felt that they were a lower priority in my life, and after twenty years, my husband left me. He eventually went on to marry a stay at home mom whose priorities were in the correct order: God, Husband, Children. Working Women gain nothing in the workplace, and lose everything at home. It's devastating to the entire family, for generations.
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Hi Lori, this post is something I've thought on a lot myself, because I did used to work and sometimes miss the environment, but being home has been so beneficial to our family. Definitely is not wasting your life - but I think that Satan tries to get us to think that way sometimes.

Right after I stopped working, a team I could have been on discovered a cure for ebola virus in mice. I saw their pictures in the news for our city, it was huge deal :D It was like a test of my faith to see if I would respond with envy or anger or with true happiness for their success, even if I could no longer be apart of it. I was happy for them, but it was a little bittersweet thinking, "Wow! I could have discovered that cure with them! I could have been in the news!" It was a little hard not to feel like what I was doing at home didn't matter, but thankfully God brought me through it, and I've since seen so many blessings and reasons as to why He wanted me home right now and not in the Science field.

I've written another post on the virtuous Proverbs 31 woman titled, His Wife is Over-flowing with Goodness! https://girlwithadragonflytattoo.com/2016/04/27/h...
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Laura Macklem's avatar

Laura Macklem · 465 weeks ago

I am the new director for our homeschool group, and went to start a bank account for registration fees. The banker asked me about my occupation, and I said "homemaker." There was a pause, and she said, "homemaker?" I said "yes" with no hesitation or shame. I'm super proud of my job, and my family cherishes me for it! Another great article Lori!
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Some things to remember when the feminist message impacts your emotions...

1. Jobs are created when either the employer can make a profit off of your productivity (you are paid less than what you are worth to the company) or the task is undesirable for the employer to perform himself. Working at home offers a greater opportunity to channel all of your productivity to your family and to avoid having others add to your undesirable tasks.

2. Companies exist to serve customers who pay with money. Since people are sinful and mammon is a common idol, people desire to spend money on things that are not godly. A job is commonly not providing a service of significant worth to God or a person's soul (especially your children).

3. Jesus told us to store up treasures in heaven. A job/career usually forces you to spend 40+ hours per week working for temporal treasures. With organization and modern inventions, required temporal work at home can be kept significantly below 40 hours each week.
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
ContentWife's avatar

ContentWife · 465 weeks ago

Thanks for your encouraging posts, Lori. The Lord has really used you to encourage me and just say things plain, the way they are. Oh, that more older women would do this! I would love to print out all your posts and put them in a binder. It can be easy to let the feminist ideas become a default in our minds. My mom was always a stay-at-home mom, but I remember her struggling with it sometimes because of outside pressre. I'm so thankful for how determined she was to do the right thing, despite being labeled "weird." Being a stay-at-home wife and mom really does have HUGE eternal value!
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Daniele from Quebec's avatar

Daniele from Quebec · 465 weeks ago

Hi dear Lori!

A few weeks ago, I asked my husband what he likes the most about me being a SAHM, and he answered that for our sons it is very good to have me at home (they are 14 and 16 years old and I homeschool them), and for himself, the biggest benefit is to have a happy and relaxed family when he returned home from work. He has a stressful work, he travels a lot, and having us peaceful when he comes back is a blessing for him. A peaceful family and a peaceful home are priceless for him!

Those are few of the great results of me being at home full-time by the grace of God : ) !!

Last Sunday, a Christian sister at church asked me some questions about me going to work as a nurse again (as I was before having my first child), and it was a unique opprtunity to share with her and another sister (the two of them work full-time outside their home) the happiness it is for me to be at home with my sons, taking care of them, and enjoying their presence for the few years I have with them before their adult lives... They are not boring nor annoying, they are our bessings!!

Thanks a lot for your help - your posts remind me to live Romans 12:2 :) !! Have a nice week-end!
1 reply · active 465 weeks ago
Daniele, I am a nurse too. I recently 'retired' so that I can be a SAHW (kids are grown now). Why is that once we get that nursing degree, we feel that it's not acceptable to stop working as a nurse??? I love being home!!
Its true and awesome post 👍
In my case, it's my husband who has always been the driving force behind my working outside of the home.
He was raised with a working mother, who was not driven by the ideas of feminism, but grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive home, and work was a way out of her childhood home, and a security in her dysfunctional and abusive marriage.
Nonetheless, she worked, and they had money to be comfortable.
I'm thankful that my husband supported us, while our kids were young, but the message was clear, that it would be different when the kids were older. He felt the burden of doing it alone. Please understand that he was never unkind about this. He's a good father and husband, and loves God, but the message was planted in him a long time ago.
I found peace in part time work, I felt it was the best of both worlds. I had time to be productive at home, and time to be a help support our family financially. And, I liked my work. But, every time I would say how much I loved my job and loved being at home, he would reply that it was too bad it was not full time, and would recommend other full time jobs to me. Eventually, my employer eliminated my part time job. I was blessed to get a full time position, and not be left empty handed. My husband was so proud of me getting this job. It made me glad.
I see other women who balance home and work and spiritual life better, but I do not. I am exhausted when I am home. Health issues play into this. I have no time or energy for things I used to enjoy so much - things like cleaning, gardening, baking, doing laundry, decorating - things I know some women find mundane, and other working women still seem to fit into their schedules. I feel I am greatly missing out on my children. And, we are not better off financially. I don't have time to budget as well. I buy more things out of convenience.
I will keep my job. I see no way of going back. And, although it sounds contrary, I do feel it was an answer to prayer. It's just not the life I would have chosen.
I just came up on your blog from pinterest and I have to say, I couldn't agree more. I'm a 30 year old SAHM mom to 2 girls and 1 boy. The pressure to work outside the home is overwhelming but I believe being home is best for my kids and my husband. My generation of women have completely lost sight of the role God meant for us from the beginning of time.
Love this post. When I got sick I was forced to leave my job and I felt like such a failure but now I realise that although God wasn’t the reason I got sick, he’s using it to teach me how important being a homemaker is. My home has been a disaster zone for years but it finally coming together. My family were stressed and falling apart and now they come home to peace and a home cooked meal. It’s not perfect because we struggle for money and I still have bad sickness days or weeks and that causes chaos but bit by bit life is so much better and I’m glad god can lead me in the right direction. God bless x
This article is so true. I've been saying this for a long time. I also believe many of the problems we're facing in our world is due to the loss of the homemaker. The rock and foundation of the home is missing and forces families into an over busy over stressed and life with no awareness of the present. I really pray to see this change.
Doubting mom's avatar

Doubting mom · 318 weeks ago

Dear Lori, it is so bittersweet to read your post. I believed what you have said true before I had my child. My baby boy is one now. This year past has veen the toughest year of my life. And my child dis not feel like a blessing at all... I was in pain, sleep deprived, terribly lonely and isolated and slowly but surely my relationship woth God deteriarated so much. I realise that rhis was probably a test and that I failed as I could not remain faithful when the storm hit. I was diagnosed with post partum depression and motherhood has been tough. Do you have any advice for me please. How do I become more like you. I am considering going back to work - as I feel that I would do better emotionaly and therefore hopefully would be a better mom for my child. I feel like I’m failing him because of this depressed state I’m in.
I agree with all that you said! I recently listened to a radio broadcast which had preacher Adrian Rodgers preaching on the roles of husband and wife. What the Bible teaches us is what you have laid out in your post. I do however find that I am much better at my job of homemaker when I'm able to be out in society amount people using the gifts God has given me. I feel refreshed to come home and focus on my family and be present with them. I don't work for only the money but more so for the difference I'm making. I suffer when I'm home full time. I'm wired in a leadership type of way. I am a go getter and motivated by change. I do think that the world has changed in a way that does not always allow for women to stay home. Sometimes it's necessary for women to be working to help her husband make ends meet.
In society today an uneducated (no college) woman would have a difficult time providing for her children should something happen to her husband. The cost of living is extremely high. I think it's wise for parents to encourage their daughters to get some type of college degree or certified training just so that they be prepared if they were forced to provide without the help of their husband. Beyond that we do live in a sinful world us being sinful from birth and that presents the unfortunate circumstance of divorce. When over 50 percent of marraiges end up in divorce and 75 percent of sencond marraiges end up in divorce that a lot of single women trying to make it in this society on their own. Of course divorce was never intended as part of marraige yet it happens a the time. I know women who are educated with a degree and once they finished school they married and had a family never once using their degree thus far. I also know women that went to college got a degree and then out of school married, and have had to use their degree because they wound up divorced. I also know women divorced who have no college education and they are having to rely on the government to live and support their kids. This means they live well below poverty level. Working they are not paid more than 10 to 15 an hour. Usually factory work and having to put in overtime just to keep their heads above water. Leaving their children to fend for themselves at home. On top of that Health care is to costly by the employer so they suffer in that regard as well.
Then I think about missionaries within my church and others that both husband and wife are on the mission field doing mission work. I scratch my head at this because regardless if wife is a book keeper for husband's lawn care business or his helper on the mission field out teaching along side him both are work out side the home.
I guess my thinking is God intended marraige and the roles to be a certain way but because we are sinners living in a singular world and because life has dramatically changed in society we also need not be nieve and think things will always be as we hope and desire. We must prepare for the worst while still living as God intended and if something should happen we have the ability to take over where husband no longer is in his role.
👍🏼❤️ AMEN! ALL I EVER wanted to be was A STAY at Home Mom BC my Mom WASN'T EVER there 😢 I Remember the BIG feminist Movements in The early 80's WHEN women were All about getting A "career". Running into people I Knew OR Going To Reunion They Would Stick their Nose UP at me Like Ooooohhh .SOOooo YOU Stay WITH YOUR KIDS ?(and I STILL THANK G-d For The Way my life has Gone!! EVEN With TRIALS😱 THANKS For Sharing !!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 Kids NEED PARENTS ( A Man/woman) Who ARE responsible AND THERE For Them AND spend Time WITH them!! They Are MORE Important THAN MONEY!! G-d Bless ❤️
Im a young mom(29)of 3. And I desperatly struggling with my daily schedule. I feel so overwhelmed. For 8 years i have been a SAHM with passion and love only living for my husband kids and the lord. Now all three reach an age that they all go to school and during the day, when they are at school and my husband is at work i feel so overwhelmed and empty in an empty house everyday. I still want to be there for the family and dont feel like diving in a career and all that, i really love serve the lord in this case but can you please help me out. With a schedule or something . I really feel like losing my worth is i dont go for a career but i hope to find my peace and joy back in being what i am.

Greetings from Holland,

Diede

Post a new comment

Comments by