Marriage is sacred; it is a covenant between a man and a women until death do they part. "What God has joined together, let NO man tear asunder." It is an example of Christ and His church. We are in a spiritual battle. Your marriage is trying to be torn apart by Satan just as he is trying to tear apart Christ's Church from Christ. This is his main goal; to destroy the relationship between Christ and His children.
God created marriage. It was instituted by Him. He saw man was alone and created a help meet for him. Their purpose is to created a family for Himself. Men are to be the providers and protectors. Women are to be the nurturers and nesters. Together, they are commanded to bring children into the world and raise godly offspring. This is God's purpose for mankind.
The unfortunate thing is that even many Christian marriages are just hanging by a thread and not being a glorious example to our broken society of Christ and His glorious church. We must always remember our purpose in life; to glorify the Lord in all that we do. As we do this, we are lights to a dark and decaying culture.
Instead, most marriages look just like worldly marriages. If one spouse is unhappy, they leave. Quarreling and arguing define most marriages. God calls us to live in peace with each other, forgive easily, and love deeply. Does this define your marriage?
I understand that many of you are in difficult marriages; addictions, pornography, affairs, etc. all working to destroy marriages. However, think who is behind all of this working so hard to destroy the marriages. It is the enemy of your souls. You must remember that Christ has forgiven you for all of your sins and will NEVER let you go, even though you fail Him often. Look at how He stuck with Israel in all of her evil wanderings away from Him. This should give a glimpse of how much Christ wants you to stay with your husband.
Since it is Satan who traps people in his web and woos them away from Jesus and their spouse, we must fight this battle with spiritual warfare as the Bible admonishes us to do. We must be in prayer, trust in the Lord to fight our battle; for it is Him who gives us the strength to withstand and stand strong. He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. NEVER forget this!
Do everything in your power to keep your marriage strong and together. Stop arguing with your husband. If he is disobedient, win him without a word by being in subjection to him, by your godly behavior, and memorize 1 Peter 3:1-6. Don't fall for the "mutual submission" of what the Church is being fed these days. No, do marriage God's way by having a biblical marriage. Fight for your marriage and don't allow Satan to win. If you need help, get a godly, older woman involved in your life for support or encouragement or join the chat room for wise counsel from godly women. If you are in a difficult marriage, you need support, so find it and stay in the Word of God for the needed strength for the battle. Life is short but eternity is long. Store your treasure in heaven by doing the hard things the Lord asks of you.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Your adornment must not be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:1-4
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Your adornment must not be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
1 Peter 3:1-4
Logging you in...
Mrs. G. · 468 weeks ago
pamelambc 33p · 468 weeks ago
Teresa Bryan Peneguy · 468 weeks ago
And that even if your husband has broken your ribs and blackened your eyes many times, God wants you to stay married but just live apart? Even though he will know where you live? Even though you can't (or should not) support yourself and your family? Because no Christian woman who has who has ever prayed faithfully for her marriage has ever been murdered by her husband or wound up homeless. That never, ever happens. Not ever.
You see, Lori, OTHER Christians know that no amount of therapy or prayer will fix a pedophile or sociopath. OTHER Christians believe that it is a tragedy, and not God's Will, when women and their children must suffer trauma, injury, destitution or death because they believed that God cared more about his rule than their lives. Any living parent would prefer their children live, but apparently, not God.
I wonder if Debi and you and others like you will ever be honest enough to accept responsibility for tragedies that have occurred because of your sage advice. You think I am "angry," and I was, when I first escaped. But I am not angry anymore. I am very, very sad.
Don't worry -- I know you lack the courage to let your readers see this. Besides, you can see I support Sen. Sanders, so you probably didn't bother to read it.
Good luck.
Teresa Bryan Peneguy · 468 weeks ago
I do appreciate your willingness to discuss this topic in an open forum. This way I can trust that you are actually seeking truth. Thank you.
I won't go into "lies" I said about your blog; you have access to your own blog, and I have a commitment this evening so cannot take any more time. But in regards to the other:
》》But if your husband has sexually abused the children, you should approach him about it. If he is willing to seek counseling and repent, fine and good. But if not, go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10-20 years, and by the time he gets out you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of love and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You ask, 'But what if he doesn't repent, even then?' Then you will be rewarded in heaven, equal to the martyrs, and God will have something to rub in the Devil's face. God hates divorce -- always, regardless and without exception.
-- "Created to be his Help Meet," By Debi Pearl《《
So you must have overlooked that part....but it is just one of dozens of passages in which incredibly dangerous and disturbing advice is given. I know, because I attempted to live by Debi's riles for some time, and as even Christian social workers or psychologists will tell you, this simply escalates the violence.
Anon M · 468 weeks ago
Rob · 468 weeks ago
Like unsaid God doesn't pick and choose aims to forgive. He forgives all when you confess to him and are a believer. Also then you about prayer not fixing everything. If your a Christian prayer is the most powerful tool we have!!!!!!!!!!
I'm Confused by you. And yes I am a Christian and someone who has gone through something horrible years ago and prayer and belief in the TRUTH saved my life
Rob · 468 weeks ago
Teresa Bryan Peneguy · 468 weeks ago
I used to own the books, Lori. I read them many times I applied them to my life. I had Xeroxed and kept certain exerpts in a notebook, but when I realized what they were doing to my life and my son's life I threw the books away. If you honestly can't find them in your copy, then that means they have done what the Ezzos have done --simply deleted the phrases from subsequent printings. But they don't ever come out and say, "I used to say XXXX, but I was wrong."
Teresa Bryan Peneguy · 467 weeks ago
Since people are praying for me and giving me advice, maybe they want to know my actual story. I was as a devout wife of a Christian pastor for 20 years. I married him because I truly believed God had put us together after many years of prayer. After I married him I discovered he was a sociopath. (A professional made that diagnosis later. More than one, actually.)
He did not beat my son and I, but he abused us psychologically, emotionally and spiritually (I know you only count physical abuse, but emotional abuse can be worse and there is no law against it.)
I forgave and forgave and forgave in our marriage. I prayed many times a day and sought advice from Debi's books and others. I tried to be submissive as possible -- everyone who knew us could see it. But I never told anyone, not elders, coworkers, friends or family, because I was ashamed. I blamed myself for his rages -- totally and completely. My neighbors (only a wall between us) would later tell me that they were concerned because they could always hear him screaming but they could never hear me at all except crying.
I knew I was a horrible wife, I just couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. So I would read the Bible, and beg God to show me, to help me do better. He showed only his kind, loving side to people at church, so no one had a clue. (Continued for length)
Teresa Bryan Peneguy · 467 weeks ago
I found out many, many more things after I left, lost my house and savings. One thing was that he had a former wife and a former girlfriend who had attempted suicide, as had I, and another girlfriend who actually did kill herself. And I found out that at age 8, my stepson had attempted as well, saying he could not bear to hear his father screaming (the truth of the incident was hidden from me and I never questioned). Since it was all our fault (the women), that is a huge coincidence, don't you think?
My own church abandoned me as he told them I had had an affair; after discovering he was using GPS to stalk me I was in hiding for over a year. Destitute and now critically ill (I am on lifetime Disability at 50), some amazing Christian friends have taken me in to live as a family member. They, and many other Christian friends, support my decision and accept me as I am.
That means a lot because I am now an athiest. I did not "choose" it. I am not "angry at God." I don't hate Christians because how could I even live with this family?
No, after decades of feeling a relationship with him, he just sort of evaporated. I spent 2 weeks in a panic, begging him to let me feel is presence again, but he wasn't there. I read the Bible again, slowly, carefully, and this time it made no more sense then that the moon is made of green cheese.
I am still me -- honest, law-abiding, compassionate, loyal. If anything ethics are even more important to me because I can't just pray to Jesus and feel better. I am ultimately responsible for solving my problems.
My X is a true believer: the virgin birth, the Resurrection, Christ's redeeming grace. He carried a Bible at all times even though he knew it by heart. He won't ask forgiveness for his offenses toward me because he believed he WAS living as the Bible proscribed. I would often walk in on him praying. It was not an act. But the bottom line is that he has faith and I don't, so in your view, if we both died in our sleep tonight, he would go to heaven and I would go to hell. To me, that is not a moral code.
My son is a fine young man, but suffers from anxiety and depression and says he wishes we would have divorced sooner. He went into hiding soon after I did and rarely talks with his father after his father flew into a violent rage with him at his workplace.
So that's it. You say I have slandered both you and Debi. I give up that argument because I could take screen shots and it would not matter. But I want you to know that you and your readers slandered ME above.
It would be interesting to know what people would say to my story. That I made it up because Christian men don't act that way and I lied about being submissive? That I was never "really a Christian because Christians don't lose their faith?
In the event that you would actually post it, Lori, I would ask that you post it all ... not just a few portions to make me look bad. Posting only part of it would be slander. It is your blog, but it is my testimony and my life.
Guest · 467 weeks ago
To whom should she turn then? Who in the church would have authority over the pastor? Particularly, as she says, he denied he had done anything wrong at all, would not acknowledge his behavior and would not repent?
Lori Alexander 122p · 467 weeks ago
I will not publish your comments so you might as well give up slandering the Pearls on my blog. I would not be where I am today if it hadn't been for their teachings. I love them! Are they perfect? NO! Do I worship them? NO! I worship the God they love. Yes, they've made mistakes like all of us and I don't agree with everything that they teach but I don't agree with anybody 100%. The Bible is the only thing I agree with 100%. Even the Pearls tell us to go to the Word and measure everything they teach by it, just as I do. So please, there are many other places on the Internet where you can slander them and me, but you can't do it here!
Thank you.