Tuesday, June 10, 2014

First Kiss On Their Wedding Day

Chad and Erin had their first kiss on their wedding day. The wedding was on the Duggars show since the Duggars and the Bates are very good friends. Erin comes from a family of 19 also with similar values to the Duggars. It was a beautiful wedding!

When I have written about saving the first kiss until marriage, people comment that it seems too much to ask of a woman to kiss and have sex all in one day, like this is something so unnatural. Kissing can be the prelude to sex! {Just ask the men in your life!}

When Chad and Erin shared their first kiss, it didn't look awkward in the least. They were so ready and looked like they completely enjoyed it. They admitted that they certainly wanted to kiss before the wedding, but had decided to wait. Of course the legalism accusation always comes up whenever any one decides to set boundaries for themselves that are outside of the ordinary American lifestyle.

Kristen commented on one of my posts, "Legalism is doing something because you think God will love you more. Holiness is when you do something to honor the Lord - big difference. I don't think they are too strict at all! I saved my first kiss for my wedding day....never dated....and, seriously, my husband and I had no problem on our wedding night. If you honor the Lord by abstaining, as His Word says, from the very APPEARANCE of evil, then He will bless you abundantly for your obedience. By not kissing, you are knocking out the temptation of going further....and believe you me, things can escalate fast when lips lock. By giving side hugs and having chaperons, you are really killing the root of what causes many problems. Bravo to them. I wish all followers of Christ took temptation, sin, purity, and holiness so seriously."

It is amazing how disciplined a couple can be if they set up boundaries early in their relationship to protect their sexual purity. I was taught not to have intercourse before marriage. Well, there is a lot you can do without having intercourse. Since I was taught that, however, I was a virgin on my wedding day. If I was taught that it was a good idea not to kiss until my wedding day, I am sure I could have waited...maybe.

We are not animals. We do have self-control. It is a fruit of the Spirit. If a couple determines to remain pure until their wedding, they CAN do it. They may need to set up some protection like being held accountable, having chaperons, etc. but with God ALL things are possible.

I was talking with a young woman recently who didn't have her first kiss until she was 24 years old. She kissed her future husband before she was engaged and remarked to me that she didn't even know she had a sex drive until she began kissing! It reminded me of this verse from Song of Solomon 2:7, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

We didn't teach our children to wait until their wedding day to kiss, but we taught them a lot about sexual purity before marriage. Children who are disciplined, love Jesus, and aren't rebellious, listen to their parent's advice. We had a good relationship with our children. They respected us and God's ways.

Would we have done it the same way if we had it to do all over again? I am not sure. We talked to them about everything and tried to be very open with them. This isn't a black and white issue. It isn't a sin to kiss before marriage, but impurity is a sin. What are you teaching your children? What boundaries have you set with them to help them remain pure until marriage?

For this is the will of God,
that each one of you know how to control 
his own body in holiness and honor, 
not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.
I Thessalonians 4:3-4