Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Why Men Are Happier!

Well, I finally figured out why men are generally happier than women and why women want to be men so badly. The following email was sent to me but there was no author and I have no idea where it came from, but it does have a lot of truth to it. 

Men are just happier people ~ What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. {The only time I wished I were male was when snow skiing! How much easier to just go behind a tree than have to track down a bathroom, take off all you snow gear, etc.} You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. {Righty tighty, lefty loosey!} Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress ~ $5000. Tux rental ~ $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. {This is SO true! I bought a new pair of heels for Steven's wedding. I rarely wear heels. They are so uncomfortable, but the saleswoman assured me that since they are leather I had to buy them a bit tight and they will loosen up. Yikes! When?}

One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. {No, really??? Why is woman's underwear soooo much more???} Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. {Oh, oh...lots of women won't like this one!}

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the day ~ A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! So send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it!

I was emailed this because he knew I would enjoy it. I love the differences between men and women. I work very hard to work on the negative differences women have so their marriages and lives will be better. We all need to know our weaknesses and work on them with the help of the Holy Spirit working mightily within us.

Despite the above that makes being a man's life look much easier than being a woman, they are the first ones to defend our country during war, to fight fires and criminals, to have to provide for their families until they die, etc. Their lives are not any easier than women's, just different. Appreciate the differences!

I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 4:12,13