Help for Witnessing to Others

Witnessing to others is difficult. Many have no idea how to do it. Michael Pearl has spent his life witnessing to others in prisons, to neighbors, street evangelism, in church, and to anyone who will listen. He has a passion for Christ and His Word. Years ago in No Greater Joy Magazine, he wrote how to witness. It has been on my kitchen desk all these years for my children to see and anyone who uses our phone. Make sure you are using your short life here to glorify God in all that you do!

Treat everyone you meet as if they are Christian brothers and sisters who are dear to you. In short, love them as they have never been loved.

Be continually joyful. Everyone is attracted to joy and no one will fault 

you for it. They will want what you have.

Be successful. Be the best at whatever you do. Everyone admires success 

and sincere effort. They will respect you for it.

Be helpful. Infuse something good into the lives of everyone you meet. 

Make them feel better about themselves in a clean and pure way.

Be generous. When others see you giving, they will recognize God in it.

Be gracious and cheerful in your righteousness. Don't be prudish and standoffish in your convictions. When you decline to participate in sin, don't do so in a way that says, "I am better than you, and you are a dog."

Be open. People are scared of the unknown. Let people get to know you and 

see that you don't bite and you don't have any secrets.

Don't do religious things to be seen of men. Let your righteousness be purity 

of heart and intention.

Speak of God and Jesus occasionally when it is spontaneously true. For instance, you might say, "Isn't it a beautiful day God has made?" or "God has blessed me with good health." On occasion you might say something like, "If it were not for Jesus Christ, I would be on my way to hell."

Follow the Holy Spirit's leading in knowing who is ready to receive the message. In time, someone will open up to you and ask a question, like, "Why are you always happy?" or "Why don't you _____?" Answer them honestly, telling them of your commitment to Christ and of your conversion. When the moment seems right, tell them the gospel story in detail. Win just one person and it is all worth it {even if it's just those precious children you are raising! - Lori}. 

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

1 Peter 3:15

Are You Wasting Your Life at Home?

Feminists won because they were able to convince women they had no worth staying at home raising children and being a homemaker. They convinced them that these things were boring and there's so much more life "out there" {wherever that is}. Women fell for it hook, line and sinker, including Christian women. Mrs. M. commented on one of my posts and showed the error of this thinking.

A major problem with the way our society thinks is that they assume the only way for a woman to use her intelligence, talent, and gifts is through a paid career. They assume if you don't have a paid career you are wasting your life. They fail to see that a true "help meet" has endless opportunities such as ~ 

Teaching their children apologetics, theology, history, and reading great literature with them. Reading and learning about finances and economics in order to better run the household and the family budget. Learning about nutrition and home healing remedies. Exercising their creative talents by baking, cooking, decorating, creating, etc. Discussing world events and politics with their husband over dinner. Being a fruitful member of the household of God by actually having the time to participate in ministry and devote to prayer. Using their gifts and talents to help further their husband's career, whether that means proofreading speeches, entertaining colleagues, or giving wise perspective {when asked} about problems at the office. To say a woman needs a paid career to use her gifts, talents, and brain is such a narrow-minded view of the matter! 

It's ridiculous that feminists were able to convince women that hurriedly leaving your home each morning, driving in traffic, working for someone else from 9:00 to 5:00, rushing home, trying to do all the housework, get dinner ready and fall into bed exhausted each night just to wake up the next morning to do the same thing is better than being at home full-time. Here is a quote from a post called The History of Womanhood That Feminists Don’t Want You to Know

"In Scripture, man’s work and woman’s work are equally valid – wifehood, motherhood, homemaking, and femininity are not belittled, and women are not guilt-manipulated into living and acting like men. On the contrary; woman’s distinctiveness from man is praised and honored, and her unique role is held vital. Women were to be protected and cherished, to 'attain honor' {Proverbs 11:16} and be 'praised in the gates' {Proverbs 31:31). It wasn’t until the advent of women’s 'liberation' that women were told, 'Your value as a woman is determined by how well you can perform as a man. Being a woman is no longer enough.'”

Enjoy being a woman, women! Cherish the role the Lord has given you. I have always loved being female and feminine. I love that my husband is male and masculine. I love the differences between male and female. We should rejoice in the differences of these roles instead of trying to be something we were not created to be. You aren't wasting your life at home. You are right where you are supposed to be!

Many daughters have done virtuously, 

but thou excellest them all.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:

 but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; 

and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:29-31

The Road to Simplicity

Written by Donna Martin

Over the last 50 years, the difference between needs and wants has changed. Since the onset of the Industrial Revolutions, our society promotes consumerism, which has created discontent and a desire for bigger and better.

In our country there are unique standards on: how big a home you should have based upon the number of children you have; how much you are expected to buy on gifts for a child at birthday time; how much should be spent on a child at Christmas; and what should be spent on a child’s back-to-school needs with regards to clothing. While we are all trying to keep up with these unwritten standards, the stuff in our homes continues to accumulate to excess. Again, much of it comes from advertising, but does it seem to be working for you? What it has done is to drive people into extreme debt and make it necessary to work longer and harder to gain these self-centered goals.

When you decide to live simply, it is not just being a tightwad or being frugal. Simple living is enjoying less stress, living within your means, living with less stuff, focusing on a healthier lifestyle, and placing God first in your life. Simple living is not about poverty or deprivation. It is about discovering what “enough” in your life is, and discarding the rest. The road to simplicity is not an easy way to travel. It takes physical and mental work. It’s a different mindset that requires new learned skills.

The first step to moving down a simpler path is to identify how God views your possessions and how you spend money. In Ecclesiastes 5:10 the scriptures say, “He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.” I do believe there is a connection between our spiritual health and our possessions. In Haggai 1:6, it says that if you don’t make God first in your life, you will not find satisfaction in what you possess. Scripture also says that God owns it all {Psalm 24:1-2}. Our stewardship of His money and property needs to be handled with care {Isaiah 3:16-26} and should be used to bless others, if it’s just accumulating {Acts 2:44-45}.

From this point, evaluate the true needs of yourself and your family, which is a serious evaluation of your lifestyle. What do you need to sustain your life and the lives of your family? Review your eating habits, your home, and your job. Take a look at your debt. Can you do with less? Be aware of being held hostage by your possessions! When your stuff begins taking over your life and you have to climb over things looking for missing items, and fretting about where to put your next treasure, it’s time to realize you’re wasting your precious time.

It is not necessary to go to the extreme, but some folks may have to get radical. You and the Lord decide how far you want to go and what you want to accomplish. Make changes that reflect God’s priorities for your life. If this means emptying out the garage and storage area or trying to scale down – then do it! Get your family involved. Make a party out of it. Put some good praise music on and toss, toss, toss! {I don’t mean that literally. Donating your things to charity is much better. } You’ll be setting a great example for your children. What about your husband’s stuff? He may not be as thrilled about this project as you are, so you’ll have to carefully and respectfully let him choose what to get rid of.

How much is enough? I’ve seen articles written concerning this topic, and I’ve tried to find a realistic balance from it all. I heard a story about a Chinese missionary that helped guide me as I started to go through what I owned. He would go through his belongings every year to determine what he used. If he had not used them in two years, he’d give them away. As a rule, if you don’t use it, it’s nothing more than clutter. Does that sound painful?

How many types of linen do you have for one bed? How many outfits do you have for each child. How many towels do you own and actually use? Some of this will be easy to figure out. For linens, you shouldn’t have a couple sets for each bed. That’s only if you use flannel sheets for the winter. Get rid of all your worn out towels and sheets that are fraying and torn, or cut them up for rags.

In the clothing area, boys only need three pairs of pants and three pairs of shorts for the summer. For shirts, they should have five everyday shirts, and three church shirts that they rotate through. Girls should have five everyday dresses, and three church dresses. Babies and toddlers will need a few more outfits to take care of those days with messy accidents. Two pairs of shoes for a child and three pairs for an adult should be plenty.

Toys should be limited to one plastic trunk per child. If they can’t control the mess, make it less. In the kitchen, only keep what you actually use. Those electric appliances and utensils can take up a lot of space, so you’ll need to be realistic in this area.

This guideline may not sound like very much, but if you live in a small house, or a house with small bedrooms, it will work out better.  What I have described is a radical plan, for some but you can use a plan that fits with you and your family. If you want to simplify your life but you aren’t prepared to be radical, then go through your things room by room and make a point of eliminating the clutter. Getting rid of clutter is not about letting go of things that are meaningful to you. It’s about letting go of the things that no longer contribute to your life so you can have the time, the energy, and the space for the things that do.

Keep in mind that you may feel that your identity is connected to your stuff. When we start unloading it, it feels like we’re giving away part of ourselves. But unloading some of it can also help us move into the person we want to be.

I found an equation that makes great sense. Frugality + simplicity = liberty. So have a yard sale, bless your friends, or call the Salvation Army and have them back their truck up to your back door and have some fun! God will bless you for it.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

How NOT to Raise Feminist Boys

There is an article called 18 Ways to Raise Feminist Boys. This article will cause you to grind your teeth; it is so terribly tragic.  It encourages you to buy dolls and play house with your sons. Let him polish his nails and wear a tutu. Tell him to read books of strong women. "Bust the myth that boys and girls are vastly different." Show him how to "respectfully" text someone when the time comes for them to have sex with them. Without God and His principles guiding our lives, chaos reigns very quickly. This is the end result of feminism.

In contrast to this article, I wrote a post about raising my sons called Raising Responsible Providers, Leaders, and Men of God. You see, the goal of feminism is for women to be "equal" with men in every single way. Therefore, they need to raise little boys to be like girls and little girls to be like boys. I'm not sure what they want boys to grow up to be, women? They should be raised to be men; men who work hard and provide for their families. Now that most of the women have careers and don't need men, many men are not sure of their role in society. Even in marriage, they are "partners" in marriage, although the women are usually the leaders and will mostly get what they want. 

In schools, children are learning they can be boys or girls. It's their choice. The seed has been planted. As they grow, the seed is continually watered by what is going on in our culture and what they are seeing and learning. "You get to choose! If you're not happy with being a boy, be a girl!" The seed begins to sprout, take root, and grow until the children grow up and decide they don't like what they are; they want to become the opposite sex of what God created them to be. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death {James 1:15}. Don't allow those seeds to be planted in your children's mind. Tell them they were created by God in your womb to be exactly who they are at the minute of conception. Plant seeds of Truth into their minds and keep watering them with Truth! This is up to you since God commanded you to raise your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. 

Raise your daughters to be women. Raise them to love the idea of marriage, motherhood, and being a keeper at home. Raise them to be modest, discreet, good, and sober. Give them baby dolls to play with. Have them cook and clean with you. Dress them in feminine clothes.  Raise your boys to be men. Raise them to work hard, love the idea of marriage, fatherhood, and being a provider. Teach them to be sexually pure and men of integrity. Raise them to enjoy trucks, balls, being brave and not afraid. Resist the devil by teaching them the Truth of God's Word and to hide His Word deep in their heart.  

We don't need feminist boys in our culture. We need strong men who aren't afraid to be men. Men who are masculine and take their role seriously. Raise these kind of men. Be in rebellion to the ways of our culture and in obedience to the ways of the Lord!

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

Grace and Truth Linkup

Accused of Being Ignorant

Expect to not be liked by many if you teach or speak the Truth of God’s Word. They will tell you that you lack grace and humility. They will accuse you of being hateful, ignorant, or your head is in the clouds. Here is the typical feminist response when I write a post about younger women being a keeper at home. This is an actual comment.

"Proverbs 31 also states women are to be hard working not lazy and only staying home doing nothing, but to be productive. How can a godly woman influence and speak for others by staying home living in a bubble? How can our children compete in this world and succeed, if women and mothers also don’t contribute financially? What is the point if sending girls to get an education if their only goal is to stay home and do nothing but housework? Women can balance and choose. Don’t you dare say it’s ungodly for a woman to work outside her home. You just insulted many teachers, nurses, doctors, nurses, judges, social workers, and reverends! I’m unfollowing your ignorance now!"

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed {Titus 2:4, 5}.

Proverbs 31 also states women are to be hard working, not lazy and only staying home doing nothing, but to be productive. Women don't have to be lazy at home and they should not be. God has called us to work hard since this is what He has created us to do. There is a lot of work to be done in the home: cooking, cleaning, teaching and disciplining children, shopping, gardening, creating, exercising, being a help meet to their husband, sewing, reading, studying, and any number of projects they have in the home. A godly wife in the home raising children should never be lazy, but do her work cheerfully as unto the Lord.

How can a godly woman influence and speak for others by staying home living in a bubble? A mother at home influences society more than anything any one else can do since she is in charge of raising human beings and the next generation who will go out into the world. These children hopefully will be salt and light to a dark and decaying culture. When she goes to the store, she can strike up conversations with the cashier and begin to minister to her. She can do this wherever she goes. Her greatest influence, however, will be with her own family. 

How can our children compete in this world and succeed, if women and mothers also don’t contribute financially? I only worked for the first two years of my oldest daughter's life but have been home ever since. My husband has worked hard for all of us to provide for us just as the Lord has commanded him to do. He commands all men to provide for their families. We don't need to contribute financially to the world since there is a whole lot more to life than just making money. Raising a human being is a lot more important in God's eyes since this is eternal work and making money isn't since everything will one day burn up except for the souls of human beings.

What is the point if sending girls to get an education if their only goal is to stay home and do nothing but housework? Daughters still need an education so they can read, do math, and develop their intellect; then they can raise godly, wise, and intelligent children. Their entire education can be done at home, especially with all the amazing homeschool programs available now. If they want to have a career before having children, they should try not to have any debt and be able to quit their career at any time, so they can be home full-time with their children once they have them.  

Women can balance and choose. Don’t you dare say it’s ungodly for a woman to work outside her home. You just insulted many teachers, nurses, doctors, nurses, judges, social workers, and reverends! What about all of the children who are being denied having their mothers home full-time with them? Don't they count? Don't they need their mothers more than anyone else? Others can fill the place of all those careers you mentioned such as men {best choice and only choice for reverends}, single women, childless women, and women whose children have all grown up, but no body can take the place of a mother in a child's life.

I’m unfollowing your ignorance now! That's okay with me. I just hope I have planted some seeds of Truth in your mind that may take root some day and you will go home full-time to be with your children and raise them instead of having someone else do it.

I’m not the one who made this verse up. The God of the universe who created us and knows what is best for us is the One who made up this verse! This woman is shooting the messenger but the One who she is really shooting and will have to answer for is the Lord.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
2 Timothy 3:6, 7
picture source

Grace and Truth Linkup

To Obey or Not to Obey? ~ Chapter Twenty Three

Whenever I am the teaching about wives submitting to their husbands, someone will usually bring up situations when a wife shouldn't obey. Debi and Michael wrote an entire chapter dealing with this topic, probably since it is asked so often. I doubt most men will ask their wives to do something evil, but there are some gray areas so hopefully this chapter will clear things up. They also believe that a wife should not submit only when a husband asks his wife to do something evil. However, many wives easily "get into the habit of always doubting his judgments and of second guessing him. They let him 'lead' when they think he is right, effectively reversing the male/female roles. When is it appropriate for a wife to refuse to obey her husband? Is there a point at which she is no longer under his authority? Yes, but not as soon or as often as most women suppose."*

Women are commanded to be subject to their husbands in everything, so make sure you are obeying your husband in everything. God has commanded you to do this. However, if he asks you to watch porn with him or commit a crime, you need to refuse since these are evil. Pearl also adds that anal sex is unnatural and a wife doesn't have to obey her husband in this area either, which I agree with.

"Wives are to obey unreasonable and surly husbands, for they retain the headship until they cross the bright red line of criminal acts or imposing behavior on the family, bringing God or government to intervene."* Just as we are taught in 1 Peter 2 about how much Christ suffered for us, the apostle Peter makes it clear in 1 Peter 3:1 that wives may also suffer under disobedient husbands. I have mentored women with disobedient husbands and it is very difficult. It causes a lot of suffering. Most in our culture scream "divorce him" but this is not God's way. "Jesus did not live his life in ease for his own pleasure. He lived and suffered for the glory that was to follow. You were created to give glory to God. When God puts you in subjection to a man whom he knows is going to cause you to suffer, it is with the understanding that you are obeying God by enduring the wrongful suffering."*

We have a woman in the chat room who is truly suffering under a disobedient husband. All of us stand in awe of her strength and determination to fight for her marriage and her husband's soul. She is witnessing to many in the chat room of what it looks like to be married to a disobedient husband, how difficult it is, and how God receives so much glory from it as she stands strong in the Lord and in His mighty power flowing through her. She is continually heaping burning coals of love upon his head while he stands in amazement of her faithfulness to him. She counts her blessings along the way and lives knowing that God has it all under control as she lives in obedience to Him while praying for her husband's soul. 

The Pearls talk about a few instances where a wife should not obey her husband as in wanting a son to participate in homosexual acts {call the authorities}, cross dressing {refuse and pray for his soul}, steal things {call authorities}, false tax returns {be careful not to be your husband's conscience in this area if it is over not reporting "a little cash money"}, and finally, if an unbelieving husband doesn't want his wife to go to church. In this case, Debi tells her to stay home and minister to her husband. Many women think this is a terrible idea but a woman in the chat room has been doing this, even though she wanted to go to church badly. She just recently told us that her husband wants to go back to church! We all love hearing of women winning their disobedient husbands back to them and to the Lord by being in submission to their husbands with godly behavior. However, if you are living with a man that is physically abusing you, call the authorities. I have an entire post on women being abusive relationships.

If you're not sure about whether to obey or not, ask an older, godly woman for her advice but usually it's fairly easy to distinguish what is truly evil and what is not. Let the word "evil" make the decision for you. Don't try to take the leadership role away from your husband even if he is a disobedient husband. The Lord may use your subjection to him to win him. The Lord works in very mysterious and wonderful ways!

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;

 that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word 

be won by the conversation of the wives.

1 Peter 3:1

*Quotes from the book.

The Root of All Sinful Passions ~ Romans 7:20-25

We have no ability to not sin without Christ; we are in bondage to sin and enslaved to it. The Law gave us no power to overcome sin; it simply pointed out our sin. Paul is near the end of his argument to show that what the Law was powerless to do, Christ did for all who call upon His name. 

Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me {Romans 7:20}. It would follow that if a man is doing something different from what he wills to do, then some force is present stronger than his will. He defines that alternate force as sin dwelling inside. Sin dwells in the members of the fleshly body. In the following verse and on into chapter 8, Paul will speak more of the body of flesh, which contains the root of all sinful passion.

I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me {Romans 7:21}. Remember, Paul is building a case for faith over against the Law. He is preparing his readers for the moment when he will say, "for what the Law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh...Christ did." There is something in me that corresponds to the evil without. Therefore, that which is within, the uncontrolled passions, must be evil too. There is such affinity between the temptation without and the drive within, and the failure of the will to overcome is so consistent, that it takes on the nature of a law, a working principle, a rule.

For I delight in the law of God after the inward man {Romans 7:22} Over against the law of sin within is the Law of God without. Yet his inner man, the self that inhabits the outer body, delights in that Law of God. He knows that the Law is good and that it is was created by God, so he delights in it with his mind.

But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members {Romans 7:23}. The root of sin was not in his will, his mind, or his emotions. All of these were arrayed against sin, and all failed to overcome the law of sin dwelling in the members of his flesh. The problem was not in his inward man; it was in the outer man, the body of corruptible flesh, the carnal man, the natural man, the Adam man.

O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? {Romans 7:24} The Law made him wretched; it exposed his sin. Paul, on behalf of the human race, cries out his lament. He seeks deliverance, not from a will he supposes to be in bondage {not from a "sinful nature"}, but from his body of flesh, the same body that died in Adam. To this point, his lengthy discussion has been devoid of Christ, faith, and salvation. He now answers the dilemma.

I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin {Romans 7:25}. Thank God, not through the Law, but through Christ Jesus! This chapter has been a detailed description of what Paul means by "serving God with his mind." It has nothing to do with walking righteously, for while he delighted in the Law of God after the inner man, he served the law of sin with his flesh.  Paul, the person, is said to serve the Law of God, but the flesh served sin. There is no hope that the Law will ever bring deliverance. He doesn't lack teaching, convictions, commitment, repentance; he lacks inner power to overcome his body of flesh as we all do without the power of Christ living mightily within us.

This forms the ground for his introduction to the way of deliverance in Christ. If Christ only forgave sin and didn't deliver from the act of sinning, Paul's argument would carry no weight at all. If your Gospel doesn't free you from sin, you have a weak gospel. In Chapter 8, he will tell you that what the Law could not do because of the weakness of the flesh, Christ did!

"Your prayers, and your repentances, and your tears--the whole of them put together--are worth nothing apart from him. None but Jesus can do helpless sinners good; or helpless saints either. You must be conquerors through Him who hath loved you, if conquerors at all." {Charles Spurgeon}

* Next verse is HERE. *The series begins HERE.
***From Michael Pearl's teaching with some of my thoughts

Every Child is Entitled To These Two Things

Every child should not be entitled to free breakfasts and lunches at school, nor free education, nor free preschool, nor free medical care. No, every single child should be entitled to having the gift of life and having a mother at home full-time. All the things our government thinks children should be entitled to doesn't help them to be better, hard-working adults, but being entitled to being given life and having a mother home full-time will, if she spends her time training, disciplining and loving them.

The reason many children receive free breakfasts and lunches in the school are because they come from a single parent home {usually only having one mother} so they have no father who provides for them. All of the government hand-outs cause many able-bodied men to not work hard. No, they would rather get things for free. Hand-outs rarely produce anything beneficial. Even God's Word tells us that those that don't work, don't eat. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat" {2 Thessalonians 3:10}.

Offering free education to children that neglects teaching anything about the Lord hasn't resulted in much good, either. As Martin Luther said, "I am much afraid that schools will prove to be the great gates of hell unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures, engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place his child where the Scriptures do no reign paramount. Every institution in which men are not increasingly occupied with the Word of God must become corrupt." "Bless is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, no sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord: and in his law doth he meditate day and night" {Psalm 1:1, 2}.

Even offering free medical care sounds great but it has the tendency to cause people to expect everything for free. One young woman was bemoaning the fact that she had to pay $20 to her chiropractor, as if all of his schooling didn't warrant her having to pay anything and her being able to have his services for free! We should all have to work hard and pay something for the services we get from others because if we're not paying it, someone else is and this isn't how Christians are supposed to live their lives. {I'm not talking about not having insurance for with insurance, we have to pay something to have it.}

Raising a child who feels entitled is a very unhealthy way to live. Raising children with a mother who is at home full-time with them is a healthy way to live and the way that God intended for children to live. They also need a father who is an example to them of hard work and providing for the family. In past generations, it was frowned upon to take hand-outs because they knew that if you want something, you should work hard to earn it. Raise your children with this mentality since this is the way the Lord wants you to raise them. And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you {1 Thessalonians 4:11}. 

The two things that every child should be entitled to have {the right to life and the right to have a mother home full-time with him/her} is something way too many children are being deprived of in this culture and it's shameful. Our culture is reaping what it has sown since the 1960s and it isn't good.

Parable of "Keepers at Home"

Feminists have succeeded in putting women into bondage. Instead of giving them “freedom” as they promised; they have made them slaves to their careers and in submission to their bosses. Women who would love to be home full-time, many times have husbands who make them continue to work because all they see are dollar signs. Some have debt from their education they must pay off and/or they want the stuff of the world. They somehow stumble upon my blog and read that younger women should be "keepers at home." Here are the different responses from hearing this teaching.

It confuses them and makes them angry, so they reject the idea of being a keeper at home. "Why should I have to be home full-time when I enjoy my career so much? Why should I have to sacrifice this for my children? The Bible doesn't say women can't work outside of their home full-time and leave their children with others? Besides, I couldn't stand being home with my children all day." 

Others hear about it and with “joy receive it” but have no root in the Word or in the teaching and encouragement from an older women. When others, even their families, begin to mock them for being home and giving up a lucrative career, they go back to their career.

Some hear the reasoning behind being a keeper at home, but the cares of the world {fearing they can’t make ends meet} and the deceitfulness of riches {they decide they care much more about the things of this world than being home with their children} choke what they learn about this, so they stay in their careers.

Then there are those who hear it, receive it, and do anything they can to be home full-time even if that means living in a smaller home, owning one car, making food from scratch, having a garden, not having TV or a smart phone, etc. since they realize the importance of being a keeper at home and being the ones to raise their children.

I asked the women in the chat room why they thought so many women literally hate it when I teach women to be keepers at home and they had many good answers. {Names are changed to protect the innocent!}

Clare responded, "Every time I post anything about the benefits of homeschooling or being a stay-at-home mom, people will come out of the woodwork on my Facebook and say, 'Well that's great, but not everyone can afford to be a stay-at-home mom/homeschool;' as if we are just rich as heck and that's why I get to stay home. I will say that my husband makes a great salary that is just enough to have me stay home, to be able to still be wise and pay off debt, and save for retirement, etc. I don't know how we would make it on less money so I understand the struggle other families must go through. But what my friends who work don't realize is some of them probably could stay home, if they didn't get their hair and nails done every four to six weeks, bought a used car, didn't go out to eat often, didn't buy all the new electronics as they come out, didn't buy new clothes or go get a coffee every morning. {I know some women don't do these things and the budget is still a struggle, but the people who usually comment do all of these things and then some. So yeah, what they're saying is they can't afford to stay home and still buy fancy stuff for themselves.} 

You asked the other day in here if it was always the plan to stay home with your kids or not and I commented that we didn't talk about it; I just fell into it. The biggest reason for this was that as soon as my daughter was born I realized I just plain didn't trust anyone else with my kids, period. You don't have to watch the news very long before you hear a story about a nanny, babysitter, or daycare provider or even a teacher physically or sexually abusing children in their care. My husband said he always assumed I'd stay home but I didn't think about it until the baby came.”

Another woman said when she figured out what she brought home was about $120 a month after all the taxes, fast food, etc. due to her working outside of the home.

Sue wrote, “A lot of worldly women I know just plain don't want to be home with their kids! I love my sister-in-law, but she is one of these women. Her value {to her} is found in her Master's degree and job as a CPA. She has two small kids whose laundry is never done, food is always ordered in or microwaved, and she is always busy on her phone with clients. She is respectful to my choice to be home, but always says she could never do it."

Kate responded, “Women I've talked to that work outside the home say they just don't know how I could stay home with my kids all day. They'd go stir crazy and can't be around their kids for that amount of time. I also think it's more important to a lot of people to have a lot of stuff like a big fancy house and all the toys that go with it. They're too busy keeping up with the Jones'. “

Susan wrote, “It is true that many women simply do not want to be home. They look at it like they are in prison or something. They have bought into materialism and feminism; they are steeped in it to the point that they don't even see their error. If you truly study Scripture and prayerfully seek God's will as a woman you know in your heart where you belong....at home. I had a friend who stayed home one day with her two young children text me to complain and tell me that she could never be home full-time. She doesn't know how I do it, yet she is fine with dropping her children off at daycare so she can go to her job as a kindergarten teacher where she cares for and teaches other people's children. Many people are just selfish. They want their freedom and they want money to spend. Their hearts are far from God!’

Karen replied, “I also think society has said women's worth comes from their work. Even my husband was hesitant to allow me to stay home when we have kids because he said he didn't want me to give up on my dreams. It took me a long time to convince him that yeah, I did have plans to work and further my education but that was only because I didn't have a husband when I made those plans."

Sharon answered, "I think when women have made a decision about their life - and the decision to have a career or stay at home is a big one, they don't like to be challenged or told that this big decision is wrong. It has the potential to shatter their whole world, and that is scary. It comes from a place of fear. The whole world lives in fear; fear that staying at home is not good enough, or that the family will not have enough money. Fear that their lives are not being put to good use at home. All lies from Satan."

Wendy responded, "A lot of us, unfortunately, didn't know better. So the more info and facts you post, the better. I found your blog when I was being convicted from a word by Dr.Tony Evans called the Kingdom Family. When I heard him speak I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but something in my heart knew it was true. I had to learn more; then I found your blog."

Christy replied, "I think your latest flow chart explained it perfectly. As soon as I learned the word about being a keeper at home, my heart yearned for it more than anything. I think it was the Holy Spirit in me that just made it so right. I don't remember ever feeling uncomfortable about it or wrong. I sometimes don't understand how believers can get upset about it. We have to trust our God. He is so good and so perfect. Sometimes, reading something in His Word has struck me wrong; it may seem scary to believe. But we have to trust Him and believe Him. I want to go only the way He is going. His ways are perfect."

Lastly, Debbi answered, "I think women feel that it 'puts them in a box' or removes their choices. Society has trained us to think we can be all to everybody. Instead we burn out..."

There were other good ones but you get the picture!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14 

  

Grandchildren Hurt By Divorce

God hates divorce and He only allowed it due to the hardening of one's heart in the case of adultery or if one spouse leaves another and divorces them, thus they have been abandoned. We, as believers, should never have hardened hearts but be seeking peace, reconciliation, and forgiveness, especially in our most sacred of vows. Divorce has long term consequences, even to future generations. One woman was telling her story of divorcing her husband due to the hardness of her heart towards him. Years later, her granddaughter held her face in her hands and asked her, "Nana, did you ask for forgiveness from Papa {her grandpa} for divorcing him?" and she said, "Yes." "Did you ask my mama forgiveness for divorcing her dad?" and she said, "Yes." "Did you ask my aunts to forgive you?" "Yes," she replied. Then that little girl looked right in her grandmother's face and asked, "Why haven't you asked me for my forgiveness?"

Yes, divorce hurts your grandchildren. I know one young woman who has grandparents who stayed married even though it was a difficult marriage when they were younger. They are now very happy. Family get-togethers are huge and happy! The grandparents are there with their children, grandchildren, and even some great grandchildren. There is a lot of laughter and fun. Her other grandparents got divorced so that side of the family is splintered. There are never any happy times together. So many joyous occasions with all the members of that side of the family are not happening, because her grandmother decided she no longer wanted to be married to her grandfather. 

Many wonder why a woman should stay married to a difficult husband. I am asked this often. I will give you my reasons. If she divorces her difficult husband he is no longer being "sanctified" by her presence. Jesus is no longer living with him since she, a believer indwelt by the Holy Spirit, has left him. The chances for him to be saved become much slimmer. The children are no longer sanctified. They will be at her home some of the time and see Jesus but then whenever they go to his home, they will no longer see Jesus or be influenced by goodness. She has no control over what the children may see or do with the man she divorced. The children will grow up angry at the mother or father or both. This anger could lead to bitterness which defiles many including themselves. The woman can no longer be home full-time with her children where she belongs and many times has to leave the home to look for a source of income, thus leaving her children with others. Her grandchildren will bemoan the large family celebrations she has taken away from them due to the fact that she didn't want to stick it out through good times and bad times with her husband as she had vowed.

This everlasting principle {"the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth..."}, established at creation and affirmed by our Lord, has not lost its holiness or integrity despite the hardness of hearts and distresses brought on by people who fail to keep their marriage vows before God and man. The higher road is to honor one's vows and be faithful to that person with whom you are one flesh. And if your partner is unbelieving and does not honor the vow, putting you away, then remain unmarried or be reconciled to your spouse.*

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Malachi 2:15, 16

*source