Wednesday, February 18, 2015

How is Biblical Modesty Defined Today?


Does modesty change with the times and cultures? Should we be dressing like the women did in Little House on the Prairie? Should cultures in times past define modesty or should the Bible? Are bikinis modest? How should we know what modesty is when different cultures have different modesty standards than ours? What is truly biblical modesty?

This topic causes a lot of confusion with women. We know our standards shouldn't align with culture but with God's Word and His Word never changes so what are the modesty standards we should live by today? Should we only wear dresses? Is it okay to show cleavage? How are we suppose to know?

God's Word has everything we need for life and godliness. It is not that difficult to find out. Titus 2:3-5 commands older women to teach young women to be chaste and discreet. Chaste is defined as "pure in style; not excessively ornamented; simple." Discreet means "modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious which means to not attract attention."  1 Timothy 2:9 states, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with boided hair, or gold, of pearls, or costly array." Shamefacedness is not wanting to draw attention to yourself

From these verses, we learn what biblical modesty looks like. It does not draw attention to oneself. It does not spend a lot of money on clothing. This doesn't mean you only have to wear dresses. It doesn't mean you can never show your knees or arms. We all must prayerfully consider these verses and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us in our clothing, not society or even other Christians. Our freedom in Christ gives us this ability to make our own decision based upon His Word and the Spirit. The first place to begin is asking your husband what he thinks looks modest on you. 

When a woman's cleavage is showing, people look. If their bottom is hanging out, people look. If your bathing suit is skimpy, people look and you are attracting attention to yourself. You don't want to draw attention to your body, according to God's Word. This isn't too difficult to figure out. If there were hard and fast rules about this, God would have given them to us. Study God's Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you and then go about living out those convictions. Model modesty to those around you. Yes, you may look different than most but that is okay. We are a remnant and we should look like God's chosen people.

If you are not married, ask the godly, mature men in your life what modesty looks like to them. Most honest men would say bikinis and leggings are immodest. Showing an excess amount of flesh is immodest. Wearing extremely tight fitting clothing is immodest. I believe this would hold true for most societies that ever existed. Be modest, women, and obey the Lord in this very important command to us.

Comments (28)

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Total agree! You can be fashionable and modest at the same time.
Yes! I love this post. With three daughters, I have a lot to teach them.
Does modesty apply to men and boys? I know that immodesty is probably less likely to occur with boys anyway but what are your thoughts about this?
7 replies · active 526 weeks ago
I thought I would just drop this link here for any woman helping girls define modesty, perhaps who have already ventured into the area of immodest clothing? It's a hard hitting books which makes one think deeply. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/621715.Sexy_Gi...
I agree! I believe that modesty is a posture of the heart more than a style of clothes. You can wear only skirts and be immodest. You can wear a one piece bathing suit and be immodest. If your heart is right and you don't desire to be sexually stimulating to men you're not married to, you can find the right balance and feel pretty, even fashionable, without disrespecting yourself.
1 reply · active 527 weeks ago
Jennifer Dunn's avatar

Jennifer Dunn · 527 weeks ago

I totally agree Lori! Thanks for putting it so plainly!
Good reminder for all women - if it's "hanging out" - it probably shouldn't be!
In response to Cori's question. I attend a Bible study at our local Baptist church on Tuesday nights. This is not my home church. I have mentioned before about they way the youth group looks and behaves. Nothing impressive or set apart from the world. A lot of silly goofiness and general lack of reverence for the church and what it stands for. But in answer to that question, I really have never noticed a modesty problem with the boys. They all wear long pants or long shorts...down to below their knees. I have yet to see on in a tank top. They always have on t-shirts. On the other hand, the girls wear about the shortest shorts that they think they can get away with...and they let them get away with a lot. Tank tops that don't quite reach the tops of their very short shorts and everything is low cut. Driving down our towns main road or any road you will see teen girls on the coldest of days sporting short shorts and low cut tops...guys in jeans and jackets. If it wasn't so pitiful it would be comical.
2 replies · active 527 weeks ago
I would love to ask you - in regards to other women dressing inappropriately around you, whether in public, at family gatherings, or among friend settings- how do you deal with the discomfort/anxiety that comes as a wife with having your husband (who doesn't look or want to) or other men around? It makes me so very uncomfortable in every way, and I don't know how to deal with it because it's everywhere. I want to protect their eyes, and my own, and my soon to be teenage boys as much as I can, and I know I can't be responsible for the choices of others, but this causes me a great deal of anxiety internally as I just want to cover them up and run away. (joking, but serious). I have been praying about it, and would love your advice on what to do in these situations.
1 reply · active 527 weeks ago
I think wearing amazingly tight fitting apparel is immodest.I accept this would remain constant for most social orders that ever existed.
I know exactly how commenter JCB feels because I share her anxiety when immodest women are around and they are EVERYWHERE. I believe we need to warn men that it is dangerous to stare at such women because they dress to catch the eyes of men and men would be wise to ignore such women. They threaten marriages by stealing men's eyes from their wives, and sometimes they succeed in stealing men completely from their wives. I think that if most wives were honest, they would admit that they feel uneasy (and downright tormented) when immodest, provocatively dressed women are around and many so-called Christian women in Churches are the worst offenders. Utterly disgraceful situation.
Lori,
All females are not immodest. But some males are and we ignore that fact. There are more things that we should be teaching anyway to both females and males. There are some things that we could be teaching young and old females about how not to lose their dignity and how to love and respect themselves, before thy get into a relationship, with any male. So, most of my issue with this article is the suggestion that, if a female is not married, that she should ask the godly mature men in their lives, what modesty looks like to them. Not right and why cant she ask the older females in her life. Scripture tells older female to teach younger females. Please identify which scripture tells females to be under the authority of other males, other than her dad while she is underage and her godly husband.

We are so indoctrinated to place all the blame on females, so we write article after article scolding females, but wont scold males. This confuses me. Look at the condition of the world right now and tell me who is responsible for most of the atrocities that we see? if you really believe that we should spend all this extra time scolding females to cover up, and to submit a lot more and to ask other males how we should dress, or speak or act, while males are out of control and are destroying this world, then there is something wrong here. How can we dare be so consumed with modesty and wifely submission, when no men are writing articles to teach male show to behave. There is so much more that we as wiser, mature females need to be discussing with our young females. I know, because I talk to my daughters, nieces, and the girls that I help and the pain and frustration that they experience with their dads, husbands, co-workers, causes them a lot of anguish.

So, it would be beneficial to the human race as a whole, to have godly, mature women to teach younger females how to be godly, and then godly mature men to teach the younger males, What we must keep in mind is that all unmarried females, just like a boy who is unmarried, must honor and be guided by their mothers and fathers. While a young female is dependent, and living under their roof, her father and her mother are the ones to teach her, not other men. She is under that authority of her parents when she is not married and under the leadership of her husband, when she is married. When she is an adult and single and supporting herself and living on her own, she does not answer to her boyfriend. She worships under the her pastor and reads and studies God's Word.
We need to be careful, how we talk to females and how we place the burden of body modesty, only on women. The male dominated media and male dominated fashion industry, both share a huge role in the creation of modesty issues, as they are the ones who started the displaying of nudity and scantily clad women, all across the media, just to satisfy visual needs of carnal, males.
1 reply · active 509 weeks ago
I have just found your blog and wow ihave read most of your posts over the last 3 days. I am 30 years old married, with two boys and another on the way. Stay at home mom who struggles from listenening to society tell me that I need to be back to teaching noe that my boys are in school. Then god sent us a blessing and to really show me.where he wanted me. Home. Your such a.blessing please know this.
talk talk talk anyone today can come up with smooth words now how do u display this principle in actions seen ? when u have your picture taken for instance ladies how is it that u dress ? .. will your body be covered or will u show flesh .

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