There were some women discussing finances and money in marriage on television. One of the women said she hides some of her money and how she spends it from her husband because it's her money, she works hard, and she doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, especially her husband. {Funny, she works for a boss and I am sure she obeys her boss and does what he tells her to do.} She said that money is a bone of contention in her marriage. Should she tell her husband about these things or is it okay for her to keep this from him since it's "her" money? Many couples even have their own bank accounts now. Is this a good thing?
Yes, she should tell her husband and NO, it is not a good thing. The day you are married, you become one flesh. You have signed a covenant before God. It is a mysterious event but you are joined together until death do you part. In this covenant marriage, God has ordained the husband to be the head of his wife and the wife to be his help meet.
Yes, this TV host makes money but it is NOT her "own." His money becomes hers and her money becomes his after the vows are spoken. Everything that you once owned when you were single is now both of yours. You are joint heirs together. Who is in charge of the money now? The husband is the head of the wife, therefore, the husband is in charge of the money. He can designate the wife to pay the bills, buy the groceries, etc. but you both need to decide together how you will spend your money and when you have to ask him whether or not you can buy something. It's good to set a limit on how much money you can spend before you need to ask permission. You see, if there is one leader in the family as God designated the husband to be, there should be no bones of contention in your family about anything. God designed this for peace. Arguing and strife are NOT from the Lord. Doing things His way is the good and right way.
This may not seem fair in the world's eyes but we don't look through the world's eyes anymore or match up our lives to what is fair or not. We match our lives up to the Word of God and live by biblical principles. Therefore, never keep secrets from your husband about what you buy and if you want to buy something that is over the agreed amount, ask him. If he doesn't care what you buy or how much you spend, you have nothing to worry about or hide. However, many husbands are the bread winners and providers of the family and have every right to know where their family's hard earned money goes.
Older women teach the young women ....to be obedient
to their husbands so the Word of God will not be blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5
Maria · 527 weeks ago
Beth M. · 527 weeks ago
Brit · 527 weeks ago
Jane · 527 weeks ago
helen · 527 weeks ago
We have always had joint 'everything' in terms of money and I prefer it this way. Its another example of 'one flesh' living I think.
One of my friends and her husband have completely separate accounts and then pay money into a third account for bills etc, all very complicated. If ever they book a holiday they pay half each (just don't get that!) and everything is minutely checked to make sure that it is 'fair' to both parties. I just could not work like that, I would find it very divisive and unsettling. She talks about 'owing' her husband some money for this or that which to me is a strange turn of phrase!.
My husband trusts me and never asks what I have spent but I ALWAYS tell him regardless and check with him re larger amounts of money. Indeed, he often says I am too frugal :) and why didn't I treat myself to some clothing etc!.
Blessings
Helen UK
Cynthia Swenson · 527 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson · 527 weeks ago
Rachel · 527 weeks ago
Maria · 527 weeks ago
Jo · 527 weeks ago
Desiree · 527 weeks ago
Desiree · 527 weeks ago
Ken · 527 weeks ago
That is also why a spouse should set so few rules and demands, as unmet expectations leads to disappointment and sometimes sneaking and deceiving about things. If a wife or husband is sneaking something, like paying a tithe, she should go and confess it, and ask for forgiveness. Then the next year confess again if she does it again.
The ideal is that she will trust God that He will work on her husband's heart in this important area of being charitable, but it is not her responsibility to tithe or contribute if he is against it. I believe she is covered by her obedience to her husband and his authority to make that decision. God will not withhold blessings from her when she is obedient to the Word by being submissive to her husband, but she may lose out on some ability to "win him without a word" if she becomes the judge in this area of their finances or any gray area of God's Word.
Just as I would caution any husband against tight purse-strings with a wife, as there are often consequences to this, and it is often unfair and unkind to be stingy with her desires, so too I would caution a wife who wishes to second guess her husband and sneak around his will in the name of the Lord. Some things are plainly sin for a wife and she must kindly and respectfully say "no" to a husband on such matters, but if it is not plainly clear, as in the question of giving, allowing a husband to lead trumps what her individual perceptions are on the matter. Hence the need to have one head and not two. That is God's way as he sees peace and harmony in a relationship as being as important as giving.
Desiree · 527 weeks ago