Years ago, Ken went out with a couple for dinner. Almost every time the husband said something, the wife would screw up her face and look at her husband as if was the biggest liar on the face of the planet. Ken said it was so annoying to see the amount of disrespect this woman was showing her husband. No matter how beautiful this woman was in appearance, she was ugly by her behavior of disrespect towards her husband.
Many of us marry our husbands hoping they will be a perfect help meet to us and when they don't live up to our expectations, we are continually angry with them. Michael Pearl tells young men looking for wives that there is really only one absolutely necessary trait that the girl they marry must posses - a grateful heart. He tells them that the girl they choose must be joyful and thankful that you love her.* {I'm sure glad he didn't say this to Ken or Ken would have never married me. :( } Admit it, women. I bet many of you married your husband thinking of how he would make you happy and satisfy your needs, instead of you thinking how much you want to make him happy and satisfy his needs.
Every institution in this world has one leader. Our country has a President; states have a Governor; cities have a Mayor; jobs have a boss; marriages have a Husband. Man was created to rule. It is his nature but the only place most men will ever rule is their own little kingdom called home. At the least, every man's destiny is to be the leader of his household.* Don't take away this privilege from your husband, women. Make it easy for him and allow him to be the leader. If you say your husband isn't the leader, give it over to him. When he wants to go out to eat, ask him where he wants to go and then go there. When you are fixing dinner, ask him what he wants and then fix it. As you begin making him the leader in the little things, he will begin taking over the big things.
As your leader, you must show him reverence since God commands this of you. If you show it to him grudgingly, he will be able to see it. Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and with your body language.* If you are a wife who has spent years showing your husband disrespect by the words you said to him and by the way you have treated him, you must go to him and repent of your words and actions towards him. Until you repent, he cannot love you with abandoned joy.* True repentance doesn't only mean you are sorry and ask him for his forgiveness. It means you stop disrespecting him and begin showing him the reverence that he deserves because of the position in the home he holds. When a man is reverenced by his wife, it is a powerful tool that will begin to have a profound effect on even the meanest of husbands. You cannot command your husband to love you, and you have no right to expect him to love you when you are unlovely...His very nature is made to respond to us if we will only treat him with reverence.*
1 Peter 3:6 states, "Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord..." Sarah reverenced Abraham by calling him lord and adorned herself with her subjection to him. This is what God calls us to do and you will never be truly happy until you obey this command. To reverence a husband is to be delighted and thankful.* It's not to control or manipulate your husband; it is to be delighted and thankful that he chose you to be his wife and show him this the rest of your days. Your husband is your king and he chose you to live in his kingdom!
Yes, all of this is so completely opposed what our culture is teaching women today. Most women don't hear things like this in Christian schools, in their homes, in their churches or in women's conferences but it's an important thing for women to hear if they want to obey God and have a marriage the way God intended it to be. For God says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..."{Hosea 4:6}. The more you show your husband reverence, the more he treasures you and treats you like his queen.*
*Quotes from the book.
