Monday, August 19, 2013

The Myth Of Needing Two Incomes


Happy Mama commented on one of my recent posts.  I thought it was so beautifully written that I would make it into a post.  I will let her words minister to you ~

Just commenting on some of the comments...It is sad to me that some people think that having two incomes is a necessity. You may need two incomes to keep up your current lifestyle, but you don't need two incomes. You just have to learn to live within your means, which may mean getting rid of a second car, living in an apartment not a house, learning to cook simple meals, buying second hand-only things that are really needed. 

My husband is disabled and we live on his disability income. It is extremely financially tight, but I would never leave my role as a homemaker for more money. I have found ways to help us earn a few extra dollars {selling things online} that has blessed my family without leaving my role as homemaker {the Proverbs 31 woman made money through her extra work at her home}. I completely accept we will always live in an apartment, we will always live humbly. But nothing is more important than caring for my home and family. 

A simple humble life with my loved ones is better than any big paycheck. People are what make life great, not things. As long as your husband has an income, however small, you can live off it. Nothing is more precious to me than raising my children and caring for my family. 

After reading Money Saving Secrets of the Amish,  I was really inspired by even the things I think of as necessities. The Amish were asked if they could spend extra money on some luxuries what they would buy. One of the Amish mentioned a salad dressing they really liked, but was only a special treat. One of the ladies mentioned Ritz crackers. Even many food items aren't necessities {I have always thought all food counts as necessities}, but really if you look at how people who live the most humble eat ~ much of even the food bought and sold in America are luxuries. I was greatly encouraged to think more simply after reading this wonderful book, and it really made me think about what are true needs vs. wants, even with regards to food. Just wanted to share that too. 

We need to get back to being unmaterialistic and living simply so we have time to enjoy the things in life that really make us rich!

She rises also while it is yet night, 
and gives food to her household.
Proverbs 31:15
picture source

Comments (42)

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We too have always lived on one income. When we married my husband was in school so I worked and we lived on my income - debt free. When he got his first job he made less than I did, but I still quit my job to have our family and we lived off his income. Twenty nine years later we are still living on one income.

I wouldn't trade the opportunities we've had to watch the Lord provide for us over and above what we could have on one income for all the money in the world.
My husband and I live on just his income and we live simply, but we never go without. I cook mostly from scratch (with some shortcuts) and we don't buy the most expensive things or have the latest phones and gadgets. But we really don't miss thise things. I wouldn't give up being home with our kids for more money or more things. It's too precious to be the one to raise and nurture them myself.
I agree, that it is not a necessity, but not that you can live on your husbands income... however small. We are very thankful for my husbands current job, but there is literally no way we could live on it. Because we have our 4th child on the way we have to legally rent at least a 3 bedroom apartment/house/townhouse. His income would pay for rent and utilities for the simplest place. Let alone car insurance, health insurance, food, gas and everything else.

We have chosen to live with his parents instead of me working outside the home. Our family of 5 (almost 6 any day) live in 2 bedrooms in my in-laws basement. This is the HARDEST thing we have ever done, but we feel it is worth the sacrifice (we could live on government support, but we do not believe in that so it's not an option for us).

So while I agree it is usually possible, it is not always doable. My husband is still actively applying and looking for a new job that will hopefully at least double his income, but it's a hard job market out there!
7 replies · active 481 weeks ago
Great post. I shared a portion of it on Facebook today & got a lot of back lashing from working Moms. I feel it is best for our 5 children to have me at home with them. I feel that God has called me to be a Mom & stay home with them. It is great to find encouragement in blogs when I feel so all alone at times in what we stand for.
I am not so much against working moms, it's more what I want for my family. I was a single mom for a little over 2 years when I met my now husband. He lost his job, so he started staying with the kids while he looked for a new job, and my youngest of 4 was a year old when he found one.

I always live by the motto that you pay your bills when you get paid and if anything is left, then you go grocery shopping, etc. I decided to do the math on paying out vs what we were making because I hated my baby going to a sitter. When I did, I found out that if you included gas money and the necessary business clothing I had to buy and wear just to keep the job I had (because they were always letting people go, and professional look REALLY matters even if they don't say so out loud) I was paying to work. Even if I didn't include clothing, I came straight even.

I decided to stay home with my children, raise them myself because I was making ends meet regardless, and one way I get the benefits of my children. I wouldn't change it for the world. Times get tight. Times get tough, but we are always happy and both of us want one of us home with our children!
I want to read that book about the Amish. I have always admired their way of life. Thanks for this lovely, thought provoking post. You are in my prayers and on the prayer roll at our church here in Arizona. God bless you.
In Australia (and its probably similar in the US) many women are in part-time employment and earn much lower incomes (they tend to work in the “care” industries which are the lowest paid). Whilst many (average) families are earning two incomes, they aren’t earning big dollars at all – and some families on a single income are likely to be earning more if the husband is in a professional job. There are many struggling 2-income families out there and they are being as frugal as you. One needs to not generalize on this topic as there is so many variations and personal stories. To be honest most people would rather be at home that work. Working in a factory or in retail is not a fun occupation.

Whilst I and my circle of friends are two income families (in professional careers) we all cook from scratch (most eat organic), most have their own vegetable gardens, many give donations to groups such as World Vision, help others such as extended families. I make some of my own clothes which I wear to work and I am currently teaching myself to knit. Yes, my clothing budget is probably more than yours, but I work and I need a working wardrobe. Ok, we don’t need to struggle like those on lower incomes but that doesn’t mean we are wasteful and go on expensive holidays etc.. We are careful and saving for our retirement and helping our children such as setting their homes, fund their education. I accept your choices, please don’t make assumptions about our choices.
2 replies · active 482 weeks ago
This is so true. Two incomes hasn't been the standard for most of history - it's mostly a product of our consumer culture. Now I do think there are times when two incomes are necessary or helpful (such as when a spouse works seasonally or can only work part-time, or when they are in private business that's just getting off the ground), but I don't think that's true for probably the majority of families. Two incomes are very rarely NEEDED, it's a lifestyle choice and a want, not a need. I don't begrudge families the right to make that choice - but let's not pretend it's truly a need in most cases.

I know for me, even though I work full time in a career I love now - I want to have kids and be able to stay home with them some day. So if I ever get married I plan for us to live on just my husbands income and use all of mine to pay off our debts before having children. In that way we'd have less hanging over our head and we'd also be used to living on just the one income before any children come along.

It's a choice. And I'm not judging families for making that choice (my own parents did), but in most cases it's not truly a "need" either - and I think it's important that people know that too.
2 replies · active 603 weeks ago
Thank you for the post, we really enjoyed it.

~Rosevine Cottage Girls
Wonderful post! I personally believe that most moms should be at home with their children. I am at home with our son and we do just fine. Of course we do not have everything however I am happy for what we do have.
I am a new follower via "Friend Connect Blog Hop".
Now following you via Bloglovin and GFC.
Have a great day :)
Bismah @ http://simplemamaathome.blogspot.com/
2 replies · active 602 weeks ago
So very true. Even though things haven't always been financially easy, I wouldn't give up the role that I'm currently called to fulfill for more income. At this point I do work, though I take my children with me (we are farmers and they love to romp in the hay!). We have made sacrifices to get here but I believe that every one was worth it.
Nancee Marchinowski's avatar

Nancee Marchinowski · 602 weeks ago

Great block post. It really meant a lot for me to be able to stay home with my children, and I wish more young adults would follow these examples.
1 reply · active 602 weeks ago
Oh how I love this.

Sometimes we get wrapped up in what others have- the $200-300,000 homes, the brand new cars, the magazine designed home. While sometimes I have envy, I ALWAYS know what my priorities are as a wife and a mother. And being here is my priority.

Excellent mom advice. Thank you so much for linking up. I shared this over on my Facebook community and plan to pin it as well.
1 reply · active 602 weeks ago
I agree that there is plenty families can do to cut back and live within their means; however, I disagree that families can always live on a husband's income, no matter how little he makes. We've been through some difficult seasons of unemployment...once when my kids were quite young. I started doing editorial work from home to make up the deficit.

Now, my husband has his own company that is doing well, but we are paying way too much for health insurance. It's absolutely insane. Because my kids are all a bit older, I've decided to go back to work. I'll actually be working in their school district, so I'll still have summers off / holidays / etc. I'll be there before and after school. It feels like a good compromise, and it relieves enormous pressure from my husband.

It works for us.

I grew up dirt poor, and it did me no favors. We are committed to saving for our retirement and college for the kids...so we live modestly and save a lot.
Thank you Lori for sharing.

Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
Raising-Reagan.com
Thank you for another thoughtful post on an important topic. I have discovered that while a household may have two incomes, it is not necessary to live on two incomes. I have a part-time teaching position that is contracted from year to year. We decided early on that we would establish a budget and live on my husband's income, and my income would go into savings. If I were to lose my teaching position, our standard of living would remain unaffected. We could live in a bigger house, drive fancier cars, own more expensive clothes, etc, but we don't. We live on one income and the rest is stored up for our childrens' education and our retirement or long-term care. I have enjoyed this post and also the comments that followed. Thank you for allowing me to add my thoughts.
We decided a long time ago to live on one income - we felt it was important for me to be home with the children. Now, with all of the children grown, I work part-time to help with extra things - it can be done. I do appreciate you sharing with Home and Garden Thursday,
Kathy
I found this post gentle and interesting, not judgey, more just sharing your opinions. I have been wondering about something for a while, and would love to hear from you or any commenter. I'm a working mama, I'm a nurse. The truth is, most men won't do this work (only 5% of nurses are men). I feel called to serve God and others by nursing and being kind to my patients. If mamas didn't work, who would be the nurses? Who would clean the poop and be gentle with the old people who have dementia?
1 reply · active 602 weeks ago
Thank you so much for linking this up last week! I am not surprised it had so many clicks. I know I already said it, but great topic!

You can see your feature here: http://www.crystalandcomp.com/2013/08/best-mom-ad...
What if the husband WANTS his wife to go to work?? I have a teaching degree and my husband has all but forced me to reenter the work force. He resents my staying home and thinks I am just a glorified babysitter (those are his exact words). Our youngest child is 5 and he would rather them all be in public school and me working full time. All I want is to stay home and be a wife and mother and he knows this....
1 reply · active 486 weeks ago
I've been a stay-at-home mom (stay-at-home-wife before kids) since I got out of the Air Force 15 years ago and I don't regret it at all!
Thanks for sharing this!We are a family of 9 on one income and we have been doing it that way so far for 13 years.I have always been a stay at home mama and we have always made do!Shared your post on my seeking proverbs 31 page !
Thanks for this great reminder! I stay home with my daughter and consider it a blessing.

When I chose to leave the work force one of my (very unhappy) coworkers said she works to "provide her kids opportunities". These "opportunities" included very expensive competitive cheer, a very large house, vacations and a new car.

To each their own but being able to put my daughter on the bus, cook delicious meals, get her off the bus and spend summers with her are the best opportunities.
i am a working mom, but it's because I am not married and receive little to no help from family members and literally no support from her father. my boyfriend does help me from time to time, but it would not be right for me to stop working to rely on his income.
i have good benefits and ample personal time, vacation time, etc for a pretty liveable salary in my area. we don't have all the latest gadgets (although, my phone.. pretty important! haha) and don't even have cable, just the internet. i could drive a brand new car on my salary, but i am choosing to save my money for my future and for my daughter. if i dont ever get married, i would only have my Social security to live off of and that would not cover the cost of even living in my area. i don't like to work, but we have an organized schedule between the two of us and live a generally happy life. if i do get married and end up having another child, i will definitely not work because i didn't get the chance to do it when my daughter was a baby. i did things backwards before, want to try the other way this time :)
i read other comments (granted they are old) about choices. yes, sometimes we don't have a choice (in cases where you are single, widowed, etc) but we have to make the best of our choices, including ones that are different. cost of living has exploded so much. if you live in an area where it's expensive your husbands good salary might not go as far even for housing costs. where i live a typical 3-4 bedroom house would cost 400,000. lots of folks cannot afford that. even renting a 2 bedroom (which i do) is around 1500 a month. i make a good salary and paying 1500 a month in rent is a killer. hopefully some day our wages will go up and not too badly affect our cost of living

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