Sunday, August 28, 2011

Letting Him Have It

Yes, I let my dad have it...I wasn't going to mention who it was but my family would know who I was talking about and I didn't want you to think it was Ken.  I never let Ken have it anymore.  He had it too many times...I'm still trying to make it up to him...

My dad is a beaver ~ a detail-oriented, perfectionist.  He was a pathologist.  He needed to be a detail-oriented perfectionist.  He was giving diagnosis of life and death to patients.  We need beavers!  Yet, he can get on your nerves some times.  He can go on and on about some things.  So I decided I had had enough and was going to give it to him.

I have a long fuse.  I rarely get angry.  Cassi told me just the other day that she appreciated that I was so consistently joyful.  She never had to wonder what my mood would be when she came home.  My dad always told me I had the longest fuse in the family. 

I felt justified, however, giving it to him this time.  He needed to hear my thoughts.  Cassi came down later that morning and asked if I was okay.   She heard me raise my voice and get angry.  I told her what had happened.  I didn't feel too good about it...

Later on, I called him and he said he was sick.  Oh no, I thought, what if something was really wrong with him. I should have told him I was sorry right then, but I didn't.  Ken told me I needed to apologize.  I agreed.  I said I would do it tomorrow...

In the morning, I heard he had to go to the ER during the night and was in the hospital.  Wouldn't it be awful to have your last conversation with someone be in anger and letting him have it?

When I saw him laying in his hospital bed, the first thing I said was, "I am sorry!  Please forgive me.  I should have never talked to you that way."  He smiled and told me he loved me and it was fine.  He forgives easily and never holds grudges.

He told me where the key was to the safe to get his last will and testament (?) and if he needs to go on life support, pull the plug after three days.  We were just joking about all this, but you never know when a loved one could go.

Lesson learned ~ Don't ever give people a piece of your mind...It doesn't help and you feel awful afterwards.  Be gentle, kind, and loving to everyone, even those who get on your nerves.  That is what real love looks like.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  I Corinthians 13:4,5

Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:  For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.  James 1:19,20

Hide It In Your Heart

Comments (12)

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How timely. I have devotions for our Sunday School class this morning on Jesus as the peacemaker. I think I will scrap what I had planned and use your last comments.
I have been there, BELIEVE me. And then I feel awful because I know that "I'm going to let you have it" comments are fueled by anger. I have always loved this I Conrinthians verse. Always calms me down.
Kim Stuff could's avatar

Kim Stuff could · 709 weeks ago

This is a great lesson with life. We never know the future of whoever drives us crazy?? It was good for you to talk to him though....
"Lesson learned ~ Don't ever give people a piece of your mind...It doesn't help and you feel awful afterwards. Be gentle, kind, and loving to everyone, even those who get on your nerves. That is what real love looks like."

EXCELLENT LESSON!!! Things between my sibilings and other family members have been so much better when I remember this, even when I'm being attacked for no good reason. Always better to walk away kindly.
I needed to hear this today! Thank you! I've been so hurt by some family members. I was just praying last night that the Lord would help me love them and not be anger. Thank you for the reminder. Have a great day!
Carla <><
I feel that you should tell people how you feel. If you can do it in a nice way, fine. If not, it is okay (even cathartic) to get angry. Anger, like joy, is a human emotion. However, after you get angry at someone, you should make peace and move on. Life is too short to bury our feelings.
I agree, Amy, that we shouldn't bury our feelings, but it was the tone of my voice...I didn't need to get angry about it. I could have talked in a gentle and kind tone. "For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:20 The only thing that should make you angry is sin and the devil!
I really appreciate your blogs. There's always something to contemplate. Thank you.
I used to do that all the time. Especially with the people that were close to me. I still feel that I should be honest with them, but I'm a little more choosy now about what is important to bring up, and what isn't. And I don't scream as much anymore. I try to think carefully about what I say, so that they understand that I'm not cutting them off, and that I still feel the same about them. It doesn't always turn out the way that I want it to, but most of the time they come back later and want to talk about it. And are appreciative of my honesty. Most of the time, if it's still and issue, we can agree to disagree. And it's not a permanent rift.
Still learning too.
~Rhonnie
This reminded me of the time - years and years ago - that I let my mother have it. After I had calmed down the Lord convicted me to apologize for my tone. Mom accepted my apology, saying that she was glad I was taking everything back. That's when, in a very loving tone, I had to tell her that I could not take back the truth of what I said, but only that I didn't say it in a loving and kind way. It seem to recall that it was a maturing time for both of us - and our respect and love continued to grow. Neither one of us was perfect yet!
Your fathers love is beautiful, and thanks for the lesson, a good reminder
Oh so true...thanks for the reminder :) And I hope your dad is ok!
i was so afraid that he'd passed away... i'm so glad you and he were able to make amends, friend. and i envy your long fuse...

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