Monday, August 15, 2011

Peter Pan Syndrome

This is what Mark Driscoll calls men who refuse to grow up.  I just listened to a sermon given by him that was great!  I want to summarize it here because I think it is important to hear.

I was pondering today, on my walk, why there are so many young, godly women in their late 20's and 30's who are not married.  I am so sad about that.   This nation needs godly families and it is not happening enough in the church.  Then I came home and listened to this.  I think Mark answered my question...

 He said that young men today are babied.  Sixty percent of the people who attend church are women.  The least likely to attend are men in their 20's.  Men are delaying masculinity and responsibility.  Men are like trucks, they drive straighter with a load so they need lots of responsibility on them.

Young men today are not carrying heavy loads and taking responsibility so they are into pornography, video games, and their hobbies and having a hard time declaring a major.  They don't become a member of a church, they mess around with women, get them pregnant out of wedlock, and break women's hearts.

They have a hard time devoting themselves to one God, one church, one theology, one woman, one mission, and one vocation.  They are boys that can shave.

Women are getting an education, getting pregnant, and raising children by themselves because they can't find a man.

The solution is for young men to take responsibility instead of refusing or avoiding it.  Women need to be loved, little girls need to be cherished, and little boys need to be trained to serve nobly to the glory of God.

Good stuff!!!  Train your boys to grow up to be real men...

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  
Genesis 2:24

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.  
I Timothy 5:8


Comments (20)

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This is a good post!

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I completely agree! When I considered dating while in college I had a rule that the guy had to be at least two years older than me because I wanted a responsible provider and not a video game player. It is absolutely astonishing when you look at the maturity level on college campuses. Young people are so accustomed to having been considered and treated as children (even as they near 18 or older!) that not much changes once they get into their 20s. When is the general time of marriage? -20s. Yet, when are young people actually growing into behaving like adults? -30s. I honestly think that part of the solution comes by viewing and treating teens as adults in training not extended childhood. I also feel men don't feel as much incentive to be as responsible or as much of a provider when so much emphasis is placed on the expectation of the two-income family. My husband and I have discussed this and agree that a man's motivation to work to provide adequately is lessened by the fact that if he doesn't it's okay because the wife is expected to bring in her "share." Just a thought. Thank you for posting on this topic! :)
-Whtiney@revivinghomemaking.blogspot.com
Men are like trucks, they drive straighter with a load so they need lots of responsibility on them. this made me lol. hmm, how true is it? and have I been taking load that belongs to my husband?
When we got married, my husband and I both worked, but he is also finishing his mayor in engineering. As his classes got harder and the days shorter, we were constantly exhausted and it was taking a toll on our time together, and obviously on our relationship. It even took a toll on my health. We decided I made enough for him to only study. He is very much a wonderful husband, but your post has really made me wonder....
2 replies · active 710 weeks ago
It sounds like he is carrying a load if he is studying full-time taking tough classes. It doesn't sound like he is being lazy at all...He has a goal to get a good degree so he can provide. Sounds good to me!
As a 30 year old woman I can tell you through my experiences in the past 10 years that this is absolutley the truth. Guys my age are terrified to grow up, get a real job, get married, have children, etc. So my question is...Is this issue specific to my generation? And if it is, then why?? Why are boys more coddled now than they used to be?
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Bottom line...They are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God...
Great, thought-provoking post! I was just speaking with a divorced woman in her 40's who feels like there are a ton of godly single women in our church but not so many godly men!
Sooo true! And thank you for saying it!!!
I'm inclined to agree. Though I do see a lot of women doing the same thing. I'm not much into traditionalist roles, but wow! These kids nowadays need to get with it. A little play time is good after high school, but there's plenty that needs to be done if they choose to start a family. There's no half-way stuff after that. And if they're still going to play (life should be enjoyed to it's fullest, no matter what you do), get everything done first, and make sure nobody's left holding the bag.
New follower ~ great blog!
Adrianne www.happyhourprojects.com
Very good post! I found myself divorced after 9 years married to a man who just couldn't accept responsibility and grow up. He had a family, but could not hold a steady job and thought that running around with a bunch of young women was OK. Thankfully God led me to a wonderful man who never shirks responsibility, Loves his wife as Christ loves the Church and treats his children (bio and step) as a Godly father should. Thank you for sharing!
I really appreciate this post! I'm one of those young single ladies waiting for her man. I pray for him everyday, that he will be growing in grace and responsibility and love for Jesus. Found you from Imperfect Prose. :)
Amen to that!
i would agree that young men need to step up, which goes back tot he parents on the kind of men they are raising...and you cant do that being absent from their lives...
good post. I wish I could get my son motivated.
I have 2 girls, no boys, but I have seen the struggle in my husband, as he walks in the path of maturation.
A good word...perhaps we need to pray for Godly older men to begin pouring into the lives of the young men, to mentor them...to act as iron sharpening iron...
It falls to us, the parents, to be able to train our children to know their responsibilities as they mature.

M.
i love that you've addressed this, dear lori. such an important topic, and one i will tuck into my heart as the mama of two young boys. xo

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